September 29, 2008 7:00 am
I’ve never heard the phrase “you win some, you lose some” used when someone actually had a good streak of luck. Hopefully I’ll be able to turn the phrase around here. I’m sitting in the airport (thanks Biloxi airport WiFi!), and I thought I’d share some of the details of our trip.
We checked into the hotel on Friday afternoon and headed down to the casino. We decided to sit at the bar and have a few drinks while we played the Joker Poker games at the bar (alcohol is free if you’re sitting at the bar and playing). It’s been awhile since I’ve had a beer, or two, or three so after the first beer, I was feeling good. After the second, I probably would have taken off my shirt and danced on the bar if asked. After the third, I was pretty much out of it. Yes, I know… light weight. We continued to play but our funds were dwindling. A few minutes later, I was kind of half paying attention (beer induced), and I turned to Jamie and said “oh, all spades, should I go for it?” He told me yes and then all of a sudden he was yelling and the machine was flashing and apparently I had gotten a Royal Flush and won $1200. Woo hoo!!!! It took me a minute to realize how awesome it was that I had won but it really was. I had to turn over my SSN and ID and sign some important tax document and then they handed me the cash. Here is a pic of me with my winning screen (boy do those gross fingerprints make me want to douse the place with GermX).
After the festivities were over, we decided to go chill in the room for a few minutes (because we’re fucking OLD and we were ready for bed after three beers each). I really wanted to throw the money on the bed and roll around in it but they gave me all $100 bills so rolling in twelve pieces of paper hardly seemed worth it. It was only about 7PM and we had tickets to Bill Cosby at 9:30 so we grabbed a bite to eat and then chilled in the room and watched part of the debate before we had to go to the show. The first thing we did in the room was get online. It cost $12.99 a day for internet service PLUS we had to spend ten bucks to buy a network cable (I figured they’d have wireless so I didn’t bring one). I have to give mad props to Jamie for both getting me hooked up (finding the vending machine with the cable) and not getting irritated with me for being on the laptop during the trip. Look at the fancy $10 cable we bought:
We hurried down to the Bill Cosby show and made it just in time. I had been looking forward to this part of our trip, I think the man is hilarious. We DVR’ed one of his old specials and watched it a few weeks ago. Let me just say that we were less than entertained. The first twenty minutes of the show, Bill was walking around interacting with the crowd. It was cute at first but then it was just OLD. He had one lady call her daughter and talk to her on the phone, he unbuttoned one guy’s shirt and proceeded to tell the poor guy he has man boobs IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE. The poor man didn’t know what to say. Bill was clearly struggling to find his inner funny. He went on to talk about sitting to pee, kidney stones and him asking his doctor for Viagra. Ugh. What I really didn’t get was that people were actually laughing at his every word, I felt like we were in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Jamie wasn’t amused either so I suggest that we leave (yes, I’ve never done this before but this was just terrible), but he was afraid we’d call attention to ourselves if we left and didn’t want to become part of the show. After about twenty more minutes of being unamused, Jamie got up and BOLTED. He says he told me he was leaving but I didn’t hear him, I just looked over and saw him RUNNING down the aisle like he had one of the Jurassic Park dinosaurs on his tail. I ran after and we made it safely to the lobby without getting ridiculed by Bill Cosby. It really sucked having to leave since I was so looking forward to a good laugh. That night we managed to stay up until midnight! After the Cosby bomb, we played slot machines and began the downward spiral of losing our winnings back to the casino.
On Saturday, my eyes shot open at 7AM. I tried like hell to sleep in but it wasn’t happening, the people next door were banging around and there was no way I was going back to sleep. We ordered room service then headed down for some more gambling. The casino took another chunk of our money back so we went back up to the room and took a nice nap before heading next door to the Hard Rock Casino for lunch and more gambling. I ended up buying a FIFTY DOLLAR SWEATSHIRT because I stupidly left mine at home and it was ice cold inside the casinos. Talk about a waste of money but it was either that or have me freeze my ass of the entire trip.
So get this, I got carded TWICE by random people at two different casinos. Not “we card everyone” instances but people chasing me the fuck down and yelling at me to stop and show some ID. They didn’t card Jamie either, it was weird. I guess I look youngish (thanks guys), but it was strange that they appeared out of nowhere and screamed in my face. I’ve actually had this happen before and I even got carded for buying a lotto ticket last month. I guess it’s not a bad problem to have.
Another weird thing that we noticed is that old people seem to have a staring problem. The casino was mostly packed with retirees out for a weekend away. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE old people but some of the ones there drove me batshit crazy. The back story is that I HATE HATE HATE when people 1. touch me and 2. stand behind me and watch what I’m doing (ie when I’m fixing their computer or sitting at a slot machine). People (old people) kept walking up to whatever slot machine we were at and just standing there, right behind me, watching us play. I felt like we were on fucking display. It was so bad that Jamie and I actually devised a code word (chicken finger) for when someone was standing there making us uncomfortable and we would stop playing and pretend to make a phone call or move onto the next slot machine if the gawker didn’t get the hint.
All in all it was a fun trip. We got to relax, have some fun and drink a few beers. We DID end up losing all of the winnings back but we expected to lose a big chunk of change so we did way better than we could have done. Right before leaving, Jamie discovered this AWESOME slot machine called ATM that is a winner every time. We hit that one up once before leaving which we thought we’d have to do way more during the trip. We’re back home now and back into parent mode. I’m glad we got to go away but I was so excited to see our little rugrats when we got home. Graham could have cared less since he was in the pool with his Grandpa but Elliot gave us a huge smile. We’re feeling recharged and ready for whatever toddler challenges are headed our way.
The best thing about room service is the cute little condiments! Look at that awesome site on the laptop screen. How vain am I? I probably think this song is about me.
Me, my FIFTY DOLLAR SWEATSHIRT and some ice cream
Jamie and I at sunset. How friggin cute. Actually, we both look stoned here but I assure you, we were not. The wind was blowing in our face and our ice cream was melting down our hands so we snapped a quick pic and moved on.