September 24, 2008 6:49 am
The other morning, I went to the periodontist to have my stitches removed. For what they charge, the doctor must be rolling in the dough and his office is very hoity-toity. I checked in with the receptionist and sat down on the plush leather sofa to wait to be called in.
Since the office is so high scale, they don’t have any magazines cluttering up the place. Instead, they have a computer you can use to go online, and a huge plasma TV mounted on the wall. I was still half awake since the kids had kept me up yet again the night before so I sort of blankly stared in the direction of the TV. They keep the volume off and show some Discovery Channel DVD. The last two appointments I went to, I saw a video of some cute baby ducks learning to fly by jumping out of a tree and dropping about thirty feet to their death. They didn’t actually die, but it looked like they should have but they landed in a soft bedding of leaves. Today, as I was sitting in the waiting room half awake, something interesting caught my eye. Something familiar. I focused my eyes on the TV and what I saw was frightening. The video was shot in some rainforest and predominantly featured the growth stages of several types of mushrooms. My perverted mind immediately went the phallic route and I actually laughed out loud. This caught the receptionist’s attention in the otherwise quiet office. Oops. Here is a video of approximately what I saw today, I couldn’t find the actual footage but you get the point:
Dude. Which Discovery Channel exec was in charge of this documentary and did they NOT see that they were shooting soft porn? It took all I had in me to look away and not crack up. They called me back a few minutes later. I noticed that the music was pretty loud, I think they think it adds to the atmosphere and takes away from the fact that they drill and slice people’s mouths all day. Shortly after I got settled into my exam room, the song changed and “Sexual Healing” came on. Seriously, I had just watched a bunch of erect mushrooms in the waiting room and then the radio was trying to tell me I need sexual healing. I had a hard time keeping a straight face while the girl removed my stitches. She even commented on what a good mood I was in and that she liked happy patients. What did she expect with the show they put on for me?