October 9, 2008 7:00 am
My time is split today. I’m here AND I’m guest posting over at Mommy’s Escape. What that means for me is that I had to bring 2x the funny. What it means for you is that you get 2x the awesomeness. When you’re done here, please go on over and check Krystal’s site out, you’ll be inspired at how great she is!
The time change has always pissed me off. Due to it’s erratic behavior (or my failure to remember when the fuck it actually is), I’ve been both late and early for work. I’ve missed tests in college and also the extra hour I could have been sleeping. My mathematical skills are always put to the test when there is an impending time change. Is it Spring forward, Fall back or vice versa? It could really go either way as far as verbs in motion are concerned. I’ve sprung back when something startled me and I’ve fallen forward when I’ve been piss-ass drunk. You see how I could be confused here? The correct term (verified by Google) is Spring forward, Fall back. You’re welcome.
Don’t get me wrong, dear time change, I understand the reasoning for you. My kids aren’t in the “get your asses outside to play and don’t come home until it’s dark” arena yet but one day they will be. When that day comes, I’m sure I will long for another hour of daylight. I’ve actually been able to overlook my grievances with you until now. As I’ve said before and will say again, having children puts an entirely different spin on everything. INCLUDING THE DAMN TIME CHANGE. Because of some asshole’s (Ben Franklin) ridiculous decision to just turn the clock back for shits and grins, my children will now be waking up an hour earlier every day. I’m just barely able to drag my happy ass out of bed when Elliot stirs at 6:30 and demands her bottle. What the hell am I going to do when it becomes 5:30? Jump off of the nearest bridge?
We’ve actually crossed this bridge before. Last year we devised a plan for getting Graham through the time change and it actually worked. Depending on the direction of the shift (forward or back), we actually move his bedtime toward that direction in ten minute increments every few days. We usually start about two weeks prior to The Big Change in order to facilitate a smooth transition. If you’re reading this and laughing, I too, am aware of how pathetic our lives sound. Those of you who aren’t aware of when the next time change is scheduled, it’s November 2nd. The clock will be moving back an hour so you childless bastards can enjoy an extra hour of sleep. In the mean time, we will be carrying out our rock solid plan of shift the bedtime to avoid further hell. Wish us luck!