The Times They Are A-Changin’

October 9, 2008 7:00 am

My time is split today. I’m here AND I’m guest posting over at Mommy’s Escape. What that means for me is that I had to bring 2x the funny. What it means for you is that you get 2x the awesomeness. When you’re done here, please go on over and check Krystal’s site out, you’ll be inspired at how great she is!
The time change has always pissed me off. Due to it’s erratic behavior (or my failure to remember when the fuck it actually is), I’ve been both late and early for work. I’ve missed tests in college and also the extra hour I could have been sleeping. My mathematical skills are always put to the test when there is an impending time change. Is it Spring forward, Fall back or vice versa? It could really go either way as far as verbs in motion are concerned. I’ve sprung back when something startled me and I’ve fallen forward when I’ve been piss-ass drunk. You see how I could be confused here? The correct term (verified by Google) is Spring forward, Fall back. You’re welcome.

Don’t get me wrong, dear time change, I understand the reasoning for you. My kids aren’t in the “get your asses outside to play and don’t come home until it’s dark” arena yet but one day they will be. When that day comes, I’m sure I will long for another hour of daylight. I’ve actually been able to overlook my grievances with you until now. As I’ve said before and will say again, having children puts an entirely different spin on everything. INCLUDING THE DAMN TIME CHANGE. Because of some asshole’s (Ben Franklin) ridiculous decision to just turn the clock back for shits and grins, my children will now be waking up an hour earlier every day. I’m just barely able to drag my happy ass out of bed when Elliot stirs at 6:30 and demands her bottle. What the hell am I going to do when it becomes 5:30? Jump off of the nearest bridge?

We’ve actually crossed this bridge before. Last year we devised a plan for getting Graham through the time change and it actually worked. Depending on the direction of the shift (forward or back), we actually move his bedtime toward that direction in ten minute increments every few days. We usually start about two weeks prior to The Big Change in order to facilitate a smooth transition. If you’re reading this and laughing, I too, am aware of how pathetic our lives sound. Those of you who aren’t aware of when the next time change is scheduled, it’s November 2nd. The clock will be moving back an hour so you childless bastards can enjoy an extra hour of sleep. In the mean time, we will be carrying out our rock solid plan of shift the bedtime to avoid further hell. Wish us luck!



  1. DeeMarie

    I remember in college, loving the Fall Back because we got an extra hour at the bar. Now, I’m lucky if I stay out past happy hour. I think your gradual transition is an excellent idea. I’ll have to keep that in mind in the future. πŸ™‚

    DeeMaries last blog post..One Train of Thought… Leads to Another

  2. jenboglass (steenkybee)

    I just read your post over at Krystals! Brilliant! I loved it. I commented on you over there.

    About the alarm clock thing. I’m pretty sure the only reason I retain any knowledge about my 9 times-tables is because I am constantly figuring out in my head what time it will be when the alarm goes off next. I can only multiply in my sleep.

    jenboglass (steenkybee)s last blog post..Yeah, We Were THAT Bored.

  3. HeatherPride

    That is an excellent idea!! Yeah, soon Claire will be waking up at 4:30 instead of 5:30 and I might have to start wearing earplugs and ignoring her if she doesn’t catch on to that extra hour pretty quick.

    Oh, and your comment on my site gave me chills!! Your mom….that’s the best love story I’ve heard. So brave of her. Good for her, and for you. Awesome.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..Baby Wipes and Black Eyes

  4. Katie

    It always confuses me worse when our cell phones don’t change until we make a call…has that ever happened to anyone?? Maybe my cells are the only ones that are stupid–could be the plate in my head. But ya not a big fan of the time change.

    Katies last blog post..Anger Management – Spin Cycle

  5. Debbie

    Oh no … here we go again. So when we set the clocks back .. spring forward/fall back .. does that mean when I wake up at 4:30 that it’s really 3:30 or will it be 5:30? 3:30 right? Seriously, I’ve got to be insane to wake up at 3:30 to go to work. I think I’ll take that first week off so I can do the gradual thing too.

    Debbies last blog post..It’s not good for you food when you eat the entire container in three days

  6. Miss Jack

    This is actually my favorite of the time changes because we too are freaks like that and we change their bedtimes to one hour earlier. Which means for me that I can watch my TV shows! πŸ™‚

    Miss Jacks last blog post..Getting To the Root of the Problem

  7. mrsbear

    It seems great in theory right? That extra hour of sleep everyone else is getting. It does not make an iota of difference to the little ones though, I’ve been suffering through daylight savings for too long. Let’s start a movement, down with daylight savings. Down I say! >:-(

    mrsbears last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – The Boys

  8. jenni

    did you know that Arizona and Hawaii don’t honor the time change? Yep, it’s the same year round there. How on earth to they get away with that?

    jennis last blog post..The Asshole Pediatrician

  9. cyndi

    Mine are totally lite-driven in their sleep, and I can’t figure out at the moment whether this is the one I like or not….soSOtired. Gonna go read your guest blog and turn out the lites. Thanx for the laughs, as ever!

    cyndis last blog post..Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen

  10. Sprite's Keeper

    No matter what hour it is, fall forward or back, I’m still hitting snooze!

  11. Lisa (Jonny's Mommy)

    One time during the fall back my parents and I ended up at church an hour early. Yeah. That was funny.

    Or…wait…was that spring forward?

    Dang it! I can’t remember! I’m so confused!

    Thanks for reminding me it is Nov. 2. More confusion would ensue. Never a good thing.

    Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy)s last blog post..Spin Cycle: What Burns Me RIGHT UP!

  12. Keely

    Come and live in our province. We don’t “do” daylight savings.
    Which generally means the confusion is just moved to “how many hours behind is the coast NOW?”.

    Keelys last blog post..You are ONE

  13. Krystal

    I’m with Jen!!I am all for the snooze!!! Also, no matter how much I spend on trying to “routine” them into the time changes, it never works! They have their own internal clocks and they are sticking to them!

    Thanks for writing at my site yesterday if I haven’t told you enough yet!! You are the best!!!

    Krystals last blog post..Clearing The Air

  14. Krystal

    Can’t you tell that I haven’t even caught up on reading blogs yet? I still haven’t written my own blog yet – yours is displaying as my last post.

    Krystals last blog post..Clearing The Air

  15. Kat@MotherFonker

    One of the nicer advantage of living near the equator is that time doesn’t change. I only remember daylight saving time implemented once because of some energy problems.

    I’m late enough as it is on a stable time, can’t imagine how much more berserk it’d get if time moved forward, backward, sideways…

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