Splat Mountain

September 14, 2011 11:03 pm

Jamie took Graham on his first Splash Mountain ride over Labor Day weekend.  They are seated in the third row but this isn’t about them. Look at those crying kids in the front. Jamie told me that after the ride started, the parents were freaking out that the lap bar never went down on the kids. It was jammed up and they couldn’t lock their kids in and there was nobody around to stop the ride. So they were freaking the hell out and Jamie had his arm out the whole time thinking he was going to have to catch some random kid that came flying by. He is the real hero of this story.

Anyway, they were just fine and when they got to the end the exasperated mom found an attendant to tell them what happened. They were all “Oh. We just added those lap things like three years ago to make people feel better but they don’t actually do anything. The ride has been here 25 years without them.” So those poor people thought they were going to lose their kids the entire time and it was all for nothing.

Can you even imagine? I’m so glad it wasn’t me but I have been laughing my ass off at these poor people. Obviously I am only laughing because I knew things worked out fine. Does that mean I’m dead inside? And is that Casey Anthony in the last row?

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  1. SuziCate

    It does look like her…unfortunately she’s free to hoop it up now…but I can’t talk about her it makes me too angry.
    So basically, these rides try to give us a false sense of security, that ticks me off, too….now, I know I’m really not as safe as I thought I was!

  2. Mrsbear

    You finally posted! I’ve been waiting all day!

    Those people didn’t have to worry. Nobody ever dies visiting the happiest place on Earth, right?

    Or do they??

    And bravo Jamie, intent is 9/10 of heroism.

  3. Beth

    Those rides are all safe….that is, until there is an accident!

  4. Jenni

    There’s nothing shameful about laughing at another person’s terror.

  5. Sprite's Keeper

    Heh heh, I was shaking my head when you mentioned lap bars and trying to remember when they added those. They weren’t around when I started riding it! I do remember when I took my sister on it for the first time. We got stuck right before the big drop so you can see the vultures just sitting right above you and then the worklights came on. We were stuck there for 20 minutes before the anti-climatic drop. 🙂 See you in a few weeks!

  6. Pseudo

    Got a smile on my face over here…

  7. Captain Dumbass

    Dead inside is rather harsh. If you were truly dead inside you wouldn’t have found so much joy in their suffering. And nobody got hurt so I think you’re ok. Isn’t there a long-assed German word for people who take joy in others pain?

  8. Amber

    I once went on Space Mountain without my lap bar down. I could’ve flown out and no one would’ve known until the end because it’s so dark in there! Luckily, I didn’t know so I was able to enjoy the ride.

    I think that is Casey Anthony. Too bad she didn’t go flying into the briar patch!

  9. Andrea

    Nice. I remember when you sat straddle, one in front of the other, and held onto the side. No sissy bars.

    I will say Disney dude will probably get fired if anyone heard him say that. Talk about a PR idiot!

  10. Anne

    I feel bad for those poor little girls, they look terrified. Jamie looks like he is having a great time but Graham doesn’t look so sure. When did you start hanging with Casey Anthony?

  11. Mrs. C.

    Graham does not look scared at all, way to go…I always have my eyes closed, my mouth open screaming something like “ohGodohnoaaah” and am trying to cower into the seat. Needless to say we are never able to purchase the photos. When we took the kids to Disneyland a few years ago I remembered the seats being like these, where I could put my arm around the kid next to me. Instead we got put in the long log and I had a vision of my super-skinny girl just flying out of the log as we went over the falls. That day’s picture included me leaning forward out of my seat holding her into hers, which just increased my terror. At the bottom she said “that was great, let’s do it again!” There may be a no-alcohol policy in Disney, but I would give full support to Valium dispensers in those long ride queues…

  12. VandyJ

    Graham looks like he’s having fun, but used to it. The girls in front look scared, but their parents look like they are having fun even trying to hold them in. Really, the first time I went on Splash Mountain I remember being disappointed that we didn’t get wet. It was so hot!

  13. Michele

    The parents freaking out made the whole thing 10 times worse. 24 more days!!!

  14. Lizgizzy

    Have to agree with the Captain, you can’t laugh if you have gone all zomie inside.

    That poor girl in the back sure does look like Casey Anthony. I but that is making her life just lovely.

  15. Ginny Marie

    I would have totally been a parent who was freaking out. I am a huge scaredy cat!

  16. K

    Poor parents and poor kids who thought they were going to fly out!

    I probably would have freaked out too!

  17. lin

    Well, if I remember that ride correctly, it’s all floaty and sweet until that one, very steep drop at the end–so I’m thinking they probably didn’t freak until then. I would have had to kill someone if that was my kid.

    Thank god for your hero husband. Now if he could just turn around and strangle Casey Anthony there behind him……

  18. MamaBadger

    I’d like to hear what the Disney Lawyers have to say about the “they’re just there to make people feel better” clause. He, he, he. And now that I’ve brought lawyers and laughter into it, you’ve regained your soul. You’re a real boy now, or something like that.

  19. bex

    LOL! Some of those rides seem a little roomy for skinny little kids!

  20. ck

    Ahhh! My stomach dropped just reading this. I do have to admire Jamie’s one-armed heroics, though. You just never know when your super powers will be needed. It’s nice to know he’s always on call. 🙂

  21. Krystal

    Wow! It’s been that long since I’ve been on the ride that now is when they put the lap bars on? Hey, a false sense of security is no laughing matter – but yeah, HAHAHAHA those people were freaked!!

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