Random Thoughts: By The Way, You Smell

September 9, 2011 2:39 pm

Where did we leave off? Summer kicked my ass big time but I survived and nobody got murdered. I’m counting that as a win. And I have actual photographic evidence that the kids are starting to get along.

We finally sold our old house. After an intense few months (those people were ASSHOLES) and a shitload of money lost, we are finally rid of it. It is best to remember that we did it for the children, not the piles of money we threw away. There is less anger if you think of it like that.

Last week, poor Elliot bolted out of her room to get me. She went in there to get dressed and found a DYING, TWITCHING MOUSE NEXT TO HER DRESSER. So she scrambled onto her bed to regain composure and then bravely came to get me. We have no idea how that fucking thing got in her room but Daddy took it outside to “find it’s family.” In the dumpster. Blech.

Lucky me killed a black widow spider on the pool pump last week. I’m not sure who I pissed off to deserve this shit but nature is definitely out to get me.

Graham is finally over his fear of death spell and is no longer laying around waiting to die. Which is good news because at 4 1/2, he could be waiting awhile.

He is, however, still waking up at night. The conversations range from superheroes to Disney trips and anything in between. A few weeks ago, after being up with him for THREE HOURS, the conversation went like this:

“Mommy is tired Graham, I need you stop talking and go to sleep.”
“Why do you always say that? How can I POSSIBLY KNOW which mommy you are talking about? Why don’t you just say I’m tired instead?”
“…….” (reaches for pillow to commence smothering)

Elliot is mostly a great sleeper but she has her moments. The other day when I thought I had finally gotten her back to sleep, she popped her head up and said “Who let the dogs out? Who who who who?”. Adorable but not so much at 2a.m.

Night times are challenge for sure. But the day times have been oh so much better. Our somber, rarely happy, frequently enraged boy has turned into a sweet, snuggly guy who I just can’t get enough of.

Sure, we have seen glimpses of Angry Graham, mostly when he has been exposed to chemicals of some sort. I’m still waiting on that bubble I ordered for him to live in.

Which brings us to school. Our new preschool has been amazing about minimizing the amount of toxins the kids get exposed to. I’m talking changing cleaning supplies, removing markers from the classroom and even the teachers not wearing perfume to school. I couldn’t have asked for more.

Last week, Graham started the afternoon speech program at the local elementary school. On those days, I pick him up from preschool and drive him over. He got in trouble both days for trying to hit the teacher and refusing to do anything they asked. Then he was an overall jerfkace when I picked him up each day. I corresponded with the teacher to see what it could be and she assured me that no, there were no perfumes or odors on the class. She seems like a tough cookie and I could tell she is annoyed with my kid (and thinks I have a bratty kid who I don’t discipline). Understandably so when he acts like that so I want to know why. Yesterday at dropoff, I smelled it, heavy perfume from one of the two teachers in the class. Perfume is an instant trigger for both of my kids and they go from zero to asshole instantly. So, I had to do the uncomfortable and email his teacher to say that not only was I sniffing her, I smelled an offending odor and could she please cease and desist on that shit. Talk about awkward. She hasn’t responded to my request yet and I see her today at 1. Shit. Shit shit shit.

This year is the first time I have ever experienced a car line. It is exhilarating stuff, really. The fact that a teacher actually buckles and unbuckles my kids in the car and I don’t have to fight them through any parking lots is pure bliss. The downside is the waiting. You have to get there pretty early to get a good spot in the front, so early we go.

The days where I have to pick up Graham from speech are a different story. The elementary school car lines are insane. I’m talking arriving twenty-five minutes early and the line is already out to the main road. Yesterday was the first day of project “screw the car line”. I parked a mile away and rode a tandem bike to get my kid. Oh yes, I did. And I rocked that damn thing. No, you may not see a picture.

So, that’s the update in the land of HAGAY. We are getting there. How’s you?

I heard something about Stacy being the new go to gal for random. Check her out!


  1. Sprite's Keeper

    We’re mostly all natural/organic in our house now. That’s pretty much it. Your summer sounds much more interesting.

  2. Michele

    So moments of terror and joy. Sounds like a pretty good summer.

  3. Amber

    Holy crap, Casey, you’re a busy gal!!! What is this car line? Why can’t you do your own kid’s seatbelt? I get that it would be freakin awesome but, why do they do that?

    Girl, I gotta tell ya…you’re incredible. All that you’ve done for your children is so admirable. I think so many kids are being misdiagnosed with any number of things and growing up with poor self esteem or no social skills or whate have you. But you’ve been so proactive in their health and it sounds like a huge pain in the ass but you just do it. Because you’re the mom, you just do it. And your kids will be healthy and happy because of it.

    How the hell do you not crack up when Elliot asks who let the dogs out, even at 2 in the morning? Awesome.

    Can’t wait to hear Graham’s teacher’s response!

  4. Mrs. C.

    Yup, perfumes are a killer. Even if you don’t spritz something on, there’s scent in so many things. I was using a mousse that did wonders for the frizz but the “fabulous scent” made me want to barf. And the added smell in the last bottle of hand sanitizer we put in the kids’ bathroom drives me wild. Maddy told me one day she couldn’t wear the deodorant I bought her because it “fought” with her body wash…

  5. SuziCate

    Your summer sounds much more interesting than mine. Perfumes are killer…instant migraine for me. I hope it goies well with the teacher. It is totally awesome the school even changed cleaning products. Go rock that tandem bike!

  6. Mrsbear

    I guess Graham is officially old enough to realize talking about yourself in the third person is weird. I can’t believe he still gets you up at night for that long. I am surprised you are as sane as you are. Public crying jags notwithstanding. 🙂

    Yay for posting.

    And you totally owe the blogosphere a photo of you on a tandem bike.

  7. Jenni

    That new school sounds like a dream. I’m anxious to hear how things went w/the speech therapy teacher.

  8. Beth

    I see car lines here at the elementary schools and it is crazy….huge SUVs! I would hate that part!

  9. feener

    i missed you !!!!!

    that is horrible that the teachers are wearing the perfume after you have already discussed it.

    what products are you using for cleaning ? i use shaklee. i also have been giving my ocd girl a bunch of supplements, cal mag, fish oil, it all seems to help her even out.

  10. Lizgizzy

    Between this…”Why don’t you just say I’m tired instead?”
    “…….” (reaches for pillow to commence smothering) and calling Graham a “jerkface” I was rolling.

    James has been our litte conscious, our little lecturer. He actually shook a finger at me the other day. I’m just about ready to kill him.

    It’s like they have no inner monologue.

    I think I need another deep-fried Twinkie.

  11. Pseudo

    Sounds like a good summer Casey. We moving forward over here too, taking things one day, one obstacle at a time (when we have a choice!).

  12. Zip n Tizzy

    I am laughing so hard at the “How am I supposed to know which Mommy you are talking about…” Ah, our literal boys!

    It’s a challenge, navigating the allergies. On the one hand there’s so much more awareness and schools and people are getting better about it, but then when it becomes personal, it resorts to us being wacko extremists. For better or worse though, there are just more and more kids who’re becoming canaries in the coal mine, so the awareness is growing.

    Our school has a policy of no outside treats, so you’d think we’d be off the hook regarding the food allergies, but then the boys keep coming home and telling me that they’ve been served popsicles from the school. Today it was one in the shape of a crayon. Ya think it had dyes in it? My guess is yes. Z told me this and I was eyeing him to see if he was showing signs of aggression and then he finished by telling me that they didn’t have time to eat them so he threw his away. Phew!

    O.K. now I’m going to catch up on my reading – I have to find out all about your old house!

    Nice to be back – I’ve missed you!

  13. Andrea

    People line up at 2 for our car line. School gets out at 3!! I waited through it for 3 days before I said helll or high-water these dang kids are taking a bus even if I have to shell out big bucks for it.

    Complete madness.

    Nothing like making a good impression on the teacher. I hope you didn’t kill her, or if you did you still get Internet in jail right?

  14. Keely

    Haaaaaaaaa! “How am I supposed to know which Mommy you’re talking about?” That could have come directly from Xander’s mouth, too. They just like to puuuusssshhhhhhh.

    I’m glad your new school is so great – barring the one perfume offender – it’s always going to be a struggle I’m sure, but having people on your side is awesome. (Perfume makes me stuffed up and bitchy, too.)

  15. lin

    You know, I always think I’m so busy and frazzled until I hear about all your stuff, then I realize how dull my life actually is.

    How come you didn’t save the mouse? a little mouth to mouse….

  16. MamaBadger

    Who still wears “perfume”? 90 year old ladies? Cut that krappe out. Nobody wants to “smell” you. Ever. Good or bad.

    I dread the “stay up and talk to me” stage. Ugh. Right now we’re in “I’m not sleepy” and night terrors. Ok, maybe talking is better than the screaming thing.

  17. Captain Dumbass

    I’ve heard of the car line and am glad we don’t have it. Saves me from having to buy a gun and a legal team. Good news on the child front. Congrats.

  18. Anne

    Casey, I am late to the party so I hope my suggestion helps. When you talk to the teacher, if she gives you a hard time about the perfume, ask her to try it to see if it works. I know from experience that once you experience the change, you can’t deny the result no matter how crazy you think it is. Once that happens, you will have her as a advocate in your corner.

  19. Ginny Marie

    I’m so glad you found a preschool that is such a good match! It really sounds like the kids (and you) are doing well!

    Right now, I can walk the girls to school, so we avoid that crazy car line. I’m not looking forward to the day I have to start driving them to school!

  20. ck

    I’m so happy that your’e back!

    And also, “Why do you always say that? How can I POSSIBLY KNOW which mommy you are talking about? Why don’t you just say I’m tired instead?” So funny! We must confuse the hell out of them on a regular basis.

  21. Lizgizzy

    Hey we could start our own commune, home school the kids, and if we attract enough followers, make lots of money.

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