Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

May 26, 2011 11:25 pm

Hi, I’m Casey. It has been two months and four days since my last blog post. I could list a bunch of shitty excuses (Disney Trip, Elliot got her tonsils out, Elliot’s birthday, I got my period a couple of times, it’s summer in FL and we like the pool, a blade of grass moved on my street), but you don’t really care about those. Let’s just focus on me being back, shall we?

Jamie got all excited on a recent date night over the below menu item. Apparently being “boned tableside” is not the same thing he was expecting:

Why, fortune cookie saying maker uppers, why?

I picked up a “lifesaver” board game for the kids the other day at a thrift store. You know, shit like stranger danger and fire safety which I though would be good for them. It was only after I got the game home did I realize that there are some soul searching questions included in the game:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the answer “yes, please”?

Is Disney making their princesses with penises these days? Belle has an impressive, uh, unit, wouldn’t you say?

The nastiness that was Elliot’s tonsils. She handled the surgery like a champ and is back to being a fearless superhero-loving hilarious kid.

We shelled out the cash for season passes to Disney so it’s gonna be a sweaty assed, magical summer.

That’s all I’ve got for now. May your days be full of cannonballs and endless swimming. Or at the very least, tableside boning.

17 Comments

  1. Michele
    on
    1

    JR would have been disappointed also.

    Reply to this Comment

  2. Mrsbear
    on
    2

    What the hey-hey?

    Look at you stringing words together and such! I’m so proud.

    You’ve inspired me!

    No wait, the TVs on. Maybe later. ;)

    Reply to this Comment

  3. SuziCate
    on
    3

    I have missed the laughter…thanks for throwing a bit our way!!!!!! Hope you have a great fun filled summer, and if there’s any tableside boning, let us know!

    Reply to this Comment

  4. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    4

    MISSED YOU! And Elliot can swim! Sprite would be so jealous of her. She’s dying to try out her new swim goggles, but I don’t feel like waiting 2 hours at the community pool to get in. (That’s right. 2 fucking hours…)

    Reply to this Comment

  5. Cat
    on
    5

    You know for a fact how to remedy his disappointment, and yet you refuse.

    I knew there was a reason I love you.

    Reply to this Comment

  6. MamaBadger
    on
    6

    Tableside, poolside. I could just use a boning these days. Oh, wait that would mean I have to stay awake after I put the kids to bed. Hasn’t happened recently.

    Enjoy all your warm weather! We usually open our pool on Memorial Day, but the weather’s been so goofy we haven’t even thought about it!

    Reply to this Comment

  7. Captain Dumbass
    on
    7

    You may have been gone for two months, but when you come back with a ‘boned tabled side’ and a Princess Belle hermaphrodite? Worth the wait.

    Reply to this Comment

  8. Anne
    on
    8

    Happy summer! Lovely to see you back. Having Disney season passes would be a dream come true for my girls. Sadly it is way too far for a day trip.

    Reply to this Comment

  9. Stacy Uncorked
    on
    9

    And now I’ve completely forgotten the witty comment I had come up with in my head, because I’m snickering like a 12-year old boy from the comments. ;)

    WELCOME BACK! You are back, right? RIGHT??? :) Although, if taking a break enables you to spin gold like this, I might have to follow your lead. But I won’t do a table side boner. Sorry. ;)

    Reply to this Comment

  10. Krystal
    on
    10

    Now my blogging circle is complete!! Casey!! How I have missed you – let me count the ways….1) snark….2) humor…..3) parenting….4) insanity….5) YOU!!!

    Glad you’re back and thanks for the warning on the disney sippy cups – I will make sure to keep Gabby away from them, little Princess is obsessed with the Princesses, don’t want to scare her…. welcome back!!

    Reply to this Comment

  11. bex
    on
    11

    My husband is researching possibly opening a rib restaurant. That menu item might bring in a lot of business! I’ll let him know – thanks for the tip!

    Reply to this Comment

  12. ck
    on
    12

    Welcome back, Casey!

    And season passes to Disney? I can’t even imagine that being an option. My kids will be lucky if they get to go there once in their life.

    Reply to this Comment

  13. VandyJ
    on
    13

    Who wouldn’t want to be boned table side?
    As for Belle? Well I always thought that Disney was hiding something about all those princesses.
    Good to see you back. And with the snark too.

    Reply to this Comment

  14. Keely
    on
    14

    Good lord. Is that Belle thing a…SIPPY CUP?

    Reply to this Comment

  15. lin
    on
    15

    Yea! I’m glad you are back!! But I will have to tell ya–with that rockin’ swimming pool in the back yard, I would NEVER be online….EVER! And I would have the BEST tan in town! When can I come over????

    Reply to this Comment

  16. kyooty
    on
    16

    Oh now that’s Spring!!!:)

    Reply to this Comment

  17. Andrea
    on
    17

    Well…you’re having a much better summer than I am. No boning or belle penises around here.

    Nice to see you though. (you’ve got to make your blog in a mobile version. It’s the only way I get a chane to be on the Internet these days).

    Reply to this Comment

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