March 22, 2011 2:47 pm
We are ill-equipped to be raising a daughter in the land of princesses. And believe me, those fucking princesses are contagious. To my delight, Elliot continues to wear her brother’s outgrown superhero shirts but the princess world is creeping in. The girls in her class have the princess sneakers and backpacks and shirts and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, dunno how to keep them at bay.
So, I’ve been giving in but only in baby steps. Elliot has a few tiaras and plush princess dolls. She loves anything sparkly and I can’t deny her SPARKLES. I’ve been steering her toward fairies because somehow fairies are less offensive to me than some princess ho who sits around all day waiting for some man to come save her… I dunno. And fairies can fly.
Last night, I was reading a Cinderella book for the first time and Elliot got PISSED. At some point, I told her the chick in the blue dress was Sleeping Beauty (oops) and she would not accept my retraction. Being the last book before bed, I wasn’t up for the fight so I had to replace “Cinderella” with “Sleeping Beauty” throughout the book. And now I have to keep up the lie.
This is going to be tough since we’re taking our first ever trip to !!!DISNEY!!! next week with the kids. Fingers crossed we have an awesome time and not a continuous stream of meltdowns. I applaud Disney for being allergy friendly though, we have several gluten/casein free meals lined up around the parks.
Have I ever mentioned that my kids go to a Jewish preschool? We’re not Jewish but we all go to Shabbat every Friday and the kids celebrate the Jewish holidays at school. We celebrated Purim (which is kind of like a Jewish Halloween since they get to dress up and get treat bags and stuff) last week. The kids LOVED it, any holiday that you get to dress up like Strawberry Shortcake and Luke Skywalker is ok in their book.
We got some awesome strawberries at the farmers market last weekend. As I was cutting/washing them to make jam, Jamie walked by and let a huge one rip. Instincts took over at that point and I fucking NAILED him in the face with a strawberry from across the room. Maybe next time he’ll keep his ass shut.
Oh my fucking GOOOOOOOOOD, our new neighborhood is heavily populated with barky fucking dogs. We have one too but stick a shock collar on her ass when she’s outside to prevent her from pissing off the neighbors. I can barely focus on writing this paragraph since Barky McBarkster is at it again. Why do people leave their stupid barky dogs outside to become everyone’s problem?
Am I the only one who weighs myself pre and post poop? I like to see what my excrement tips the scale at and believe me, I’ve had some record breaking doozies.
Graham’s behavior has continued to be awesome. His teacher commented on how great he’s been the past few weeks and she didn’t know we were supplementing him so it’s great to have proof. They do still have some sibling scuffles but they’re manageable vs the cage death matches they used to have.
During a recent tiff, I lectured the kids on loving each other and how it’s their job to protect each other and be best friends. I asked them to tell me what I meant by that. Elliot piped in with “If you see a crocodile, run away and tell a grown up.” Thank God they understood the point I was trying to get across.