Even if you weren’t waiting for them, you have to admit that the title drew you in.

Welcome to my humble abode. Please, come in, take off your shoes and don’t even fucking think about scratching my new wood floors.

Here are the nasty-assed busted up doors that were here and the purty new ones yours truly demanded.

And the view from inside, we scraped the popcorn off of the ceiling (which took my Dad and me an entire weekend to do), got rid of the dog-shit-piss-stained carpets and installed wood floors and put in new crown and baseboards. By WE, I mean the dude we paid to work his ass off in the month between Thanksgiving and Xmas.

The interior living room view.

Here’s the kid’s bathroom; we took that huge cupboard out (it seriously made the room look so tiny), re-textured the walls, new mirrors, paint, faucets, toilet and back splash.

Here’s the kitchen. And some random dude in the photo who I may or may not be married to. We painted the cabinets (again, not WE but the help) and the paint made us all physically ill for the first three weeks we lived here. I got low VOC paint but it didn’t matter, I was nauseated and migrainish for weeks. We tried everything to get rid of the smell.. a bowl of sliced onions and baking powder in each drawer and cabinet, an ozone generator and hurricane fan. Nothing fucking worked but time. I seriously contemplated taking the kids to a hotel or back to the empty old house until the fumes died down.

One of the biggest things that bugged me about the kitchen was how cramped it felt. We had the drop down ceiling pulled out and it completely opened up the room. And yellow… hmm, yellow I’m still getting used to.

The fireplace was floor to ceiling rock but not just rock, ugly rock. They ripped that fucker out in an afternoon, merely hours after I texted the go ahead to remove it. Then I got the call that they needed materials to build the new one so Graham and I went and impulse bought some slate and tile. I love how it turned out but the pictures so don’t do it justice.

Our contractor called the kid’s room the Nickelodeon room because of the bright green paint but it’s a kid’s room so it HAS to be bright, no? We actually moved them to separate rooms over the weekend since Graham has been waking up at the asscrack of dawn and goes from zero to WAKEEVERYONEINTHEUNIVERSELOUD instantly. Fingers crossed that one or both kids decide to sleep sometime before going off to college.

Ahh, the master bedroom. This is where the magic happens. You know, sleep. The only negative about this room is that even though we installed new floors and paint, I can STILL smell the previous owner’s cologne whenever I’m in there. And it freaks me out. Do you think maybe some cologne-y smelling dude died in there and is haunting me with fragrances?

Here’s the master bath. Basically all we did was paint, add a new light, mirror and toilet. I want to install a different sink but we’ll get there someday.

And the playroom. Which we figured for completely fucking useless when we were looking at the house. I implemented a new rule when we moved: NO TOYS IN THE HOUSE. Well, they can be temporarily played with in the house but then they get booted back to the toy room. And it’s awesome not stepping on sharp little fucking toy pieces when I least expect it.Ā  I plan on making something like this to get the toys off the ground but haven’t gotten around to it.

Since the kids are so chemically sensitive, we used low/zero VOC paints, floor glue and any other materials we could find. We also had to get all of the work done in a short amount of time since we can’t really do any major construction projects around them. Even so, we still all got sick from the “low VOC” Ace Brand cabinet paints (The paint looks awesome but almost killed us all).

And that’s basically it, I only omitted the disheveled guest room, office and dining room. I only had a weekend to settle on paint colors (my contractor was fast) and the house came out looking like a fucking preschool. I’m hoping that once I hang some of my art, it will mute some of the brighter colors. Either way, I dig it. And you? What do you think?

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  1. Anne

    Your house is gorgeous! I am so amazed by how a change in mirror appears to make the room look so much more together.

    I believe Benjamin Moore low VOC paint is good. I have never used it (I am embarrassed to admit how long it has been since we painted) but I have heard good things about it.

  2. Jenni

    Holy shit that house went from an 80s nightmare to a gorgeous livable space. I’m so jealous of that play room, I could die, and I love that you took those ugly sliding doors off the kids closet. It opened up the room and made more space for them. Wonderful job. How’s my room coming along? When can I move in?

  3. lin

    Wow. That is a nice house!! LOVE the doors!! And the mirror in the master bath. And the kitchen cabinets painted–even though you nearly died of fumes. Oh, and the color of the walls in your bedroom. Very nice. I’m not so sure about the yellow–maybe that is what is waking Graham up every day. šŸ™‚

    Cool new digs, Casey!! Is there a guest room for when I come to visit???

  4. Andrea

    It’s gorgeous! I love the front door transition. That really makes such an amazing difference. The house looks great. You guys did a really awesome job. And it’s done Yea!!

  5. Cat

    Holy shit. I feel bad about myself now. That’s now good you did.

  6. Julie @Momspective

    Holy hell that’s beautiful! It must have taken a shit-ton of work! Great job!

  7. Keely

    Freakin’ beautiful. The kids’ room is the same color as Xanders room. (When I painted it before he was born my Mom was all, babies are stimulated by bright colors! He’ll be up all night! And I was like, well when I want him to sleep – it will be DARK.)

    When can I move in?

  8. Beth

    That was great, like sneaking around someone’s house while they aren’t looking! How on Earth did you find a contractor that’s fast? Your new home seems bright and ready for a wonderful life to unfold. Well done!

  9. Amber

    Wow. I kind of want to burn my house to the ground now. Nicely done, girlie!!

    I know I’ve been MIA for a long time so I missed the part about you moving. Where’d you move to? Why the move? Does this house have a pool, too?

    I’ve missed you! I’ll be better at checking in with you. Love the house!!

  10. Mrsbear

    I LOVE the yellow. So damn cheery! I need to slather some of that all up and down my walls see if it improves my disposition.

    It looks lovely and your front doors are a huge improvement.

    You might need an exorcism for the cologne ghost though.

  11. If I Could Escape

    Gorgeous! And, I LOVE the yellow!!!

  12. Stacy Uncorked

    It really can’t get any more awesome than that. Is there a waiting list for those of us who want to move in? šŸ˜‰

  13. Sheila

    It looks GREAT! The stoner did a good job!
    The fireplace is amazing and the front doors completely change the look. You have a Beautiful home.
    Maybe you need to do an exorcism to get rid of the cologne??

  14. Captain Dumbass

    Can I come live with you?

  15. Ginny Marie

    I love it! Lily’s room is a bright periwinkle blue, and Emmy’s room is yellow, so I gravitate towards bright colors, too. I am so jealous of your play room. My kids have way too many toys for our house!

  16. ThatJanieGirl

    That is an amazing transformation! job well done!

  17. kyooty

    Your house is beautiful

  18. Lizgizzy

    Can you guys come to my house. OMG you’ve worked so hard and it totally paid off! Way to go, the house looks lovely!

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