March 10, 2011 4:43 pm
I’ve been playing doctor and may have stumbled on the right combination of supplements to help with the kid’s assholishness/aggression. They’ve both been even tempered and (mostly) playing together pretty much since I posted about how we’re doomed to a life of sibling death matches. Woot.
No, it does not involve horse tranquilizers or tasers but those ideas are good too . I won’t bore you with the specifics but if you have an ADHD or aggressive kid, email me and I’ll send you some links to possible causes and natural supplements that may or may not help.
I forgot to tell you guys about Valentine’s Day and how I accused my four year old of stealing. Jamie and I don’t exchange presents but he decided to stash some of my favorite chocolates in G’s backpack for him to give me when I picked him up from school. So Graham pulls out the chocolate and hands it to me and I’m all “where did you get this? Who did you take this from?” and I gave it to the teacher and told her Graham stole it from someone else in the class. I am such an asshole.
Elliot has the cutest mispronunciations I’ve ever heard. Because it’s so adorable, I want her to keep it up and am probably setting her up for speech therapy. Still, when she brings me Sweeping Booty (Sleeping Beauty) or tells me she wants to go to the carmibal (carnival), it’s the cutest damn thing ever.
So Graham had a show stopper last week at school when his teacher and I were having a heart to heart with him about why he doesn’t like school anymore (he’s back to liking it now so we’re past that phase). We asked him why he didn’t want to come to school and he got dead serious and looked at us and said “somebody touched me”. My stomach dropped and we were both like “who? when? wheredidtheytouchyou?” and Graham said “the boy in Elliot’s class touched me”. Which he did, on the shoulder about five seconds before we walked into Graham’s class. So my damn kid almost launched a FULL FUCKING SCALE INVESTIGATION because some two year old touched his damn shoulder thirty seconds earlier. Only my kid, right?
We went to the ENT a few weeks back and as we were getting settled in the room, Graham bee lined for the big red emergency button and pushed it. The office is at a children’s hospital so there’s a whole “CODE BLUE, SOMEONE’S KICKING IT IN THERE AND NEEDS HELP” team in place that our nurse had to go call off.
May I present to you: Grahamvader
My neighbor showed up the other day with a handful of pudding cups for us. She told me she thought we’d like them (I did!) and then segued to the fact that her husband had passed a few weeks back. I was all.. “uhh, wow, I’m sorry to hear that, wow, uhhhh, thanks for your dead husband’s pudding?”. I think my reaction seemed genuine and I even threw in a hug and a “call me if you need anything” for good measure.
On my way out from reading to the preschool kids the other day, I walked with another mom from the school. She informed me that she doesn’t have time to read to the kids because she HAS A JOB. You know, unlike me who sits around eating Bon Bons and watching General Hospital all day. Bitch.
The kids are in week two of gymnastics and are loving it. Well, except when the teacher was having them pretend to be animals and then told them to lay still like a dead elephant. What the fuck?!? Graham freaked at the thought of being dead and bolted, I can’t say I blame him.
I’m another year older and celebrated my birthday last week by unloading the POD that got delivered that morning. I was rewarded with a sore back and garage full of shit to sort through so it was a wonderful day.