A friend and I went to see No Strings Attached the other night  and we were the youngest people there by about 45 years.  It kind of freaked me out since sex scenes are uncomfortable when you’re watching with the cast of Cocoon.

Angry bird is my new favorite pooping pastime.  I used to play Solitaire (aka poopitaire) but now I’m an angry bird addict. If you have a Droid or iPhone, I dare you not to get addicted to that stupid fucking game.

As usual, things have been insane around here with the kids. Graham has been on anger inducing antibiotics since the week after Xmas and just couldn’t shake his sinus and double ear infection. We finally had to do the antibiotic shots this week. After the first day, the poor kid couldn’t walk and was even worse after the second day of shots. Luckily, he’s better now and is back to running and destroying.

I brought all off the kid’s used medicine dropper syringe thingies in for his teachers to use for art projects.  The show and tell letter of the day was “S” and one horrified parent turned to me and asked if the syringes were G’s show and tell?!? I laughed and told her no but later told the teacher that it’s never too early to teach toddlers how to shoot up heroin.

I’m starting Nutrisystem next week. Ugh. Jamie has had some success with it so I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try. I was supposed to start this week but had leftover food from our Superbowl get together and needed to stuff it into my cake hole before dieting.

Speaking of cake hole, I overindulged on cake last weekend and have been hitting up the Lucky Charms this week and have had a serious bout of the “GREEN SHITS”. You’re welcome for that mental image.

I’ve volunteered a couple of times at the kid’s school for story time. Basically, I sit in the school library and wait for each class to come in and read them each a few books while they wiggle around and pick their noses and stuff.  Holy shit guys, preschoolers are a tough crowd.

We had a couple of friends over for the Superbowl and at one point in the night, Elliot must have had enough. She grabbed her megaphone (real, voice altering LOUD ASSED megaphone the I don’t know why I ever purchased for the kids) and started yelling “EVERYBODY GO HOME!!! GOOOO HOMEEEE!!!”. It was a tad embarrassing and a tad hilarious at the same time.

Jamie and I had a rare date night last night. We really went out on the town… after dinner, we hit up Walmart and then McDonalds for dessert. We fucking rock.

Keely Schmeely.



  1. Beth

    Walmart and McDonald’s in one night?! You two really know how to party. Can’t imagine what you’ll have planned for Valentine’s Day!

  2. Lizgizzy

    The antiobiotic shots sure are some kind of nasty- poor kid. I’m glad he is on the mend though.

    Angry Birds rocks! I just wish it was available for Windows Phone 7. Ah Well.

  3. Cat

    Just to be clear, today is Thursday. And also, green shit is awesome because it resembles the vegetables you didn’t eat on the front end.

  4. Sprite's Keeper

    John is an angry birds addict. It lasted me maybe an hour before I was done with it. 🙂

  5. Julie @Momspective

    I shit you not, I was recently taken on a date and he took me to McDonalds then to Walmart and he bought himself a DVD. I said I was good with just going home and he can go watch it lol.

  6. Keely

    I love that you don’t post RTT on Tuesdays anymore because I actually get to read them.

    Also, can I borrow Elliot? I have a function coming up and I don’t like stragglers who overstay.

  7. Anne

    I’m glad Graham is feeling better. There is nothing sadder than a sick kid. I totally love Elliot’s attitude. There have been a number of times that I wanted to do the same thing (especially with my in-laws).

  8. Sheila

    I want Elliot to come to my next party. I have friends who CANNOT TAKE A HINT. I am forced to say “I am going to bed now, YOU are going home”. Once they had the audacity to say “go to bed, we’ll turn out the lights when we leave”.
    I ate an entire box of clementines in 3 days…the results were NOT green!! Hey, you made me think about YOUR poop….

  9. Ginny Marie

    I think I need to have Elliot tell my in-laws when to go home. They stay at my house entirely too long! But at least I can hide from them in my room for a few minutes at a time. When I’m at their house, the only place I can hide is in the bathroom! Where, I might add, I never shit.

  10. Michele

    Gawd I love your kids!

  11. lin

    oh god, you have sunk to the new low of Library Lady and going to Walmart on dates?? Criminy, it’s worse than you thought! You’ll reclaim your life in about 10 years, pally. And then you’ll spend the rest of your life missing it. Not even kidding.

  12. Captain Dumbass

    I’m glad you can’t play Angry Birds online, it would definitely cut into my productivity at work.

  13. livelaughloveliquor

    Hee hee hee Megaphone, had one, and gave that the heave ho by the 3rd day!

    I can so relate to the walmart after your date thing. We have done that too. It’s such an amazing experience with out someone screaming “GET ME OUT OF THIS SHOPPING CART” at sonic level, over and over again.

    Loved your blog

  14. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings

    I yell “Go Home” a lot … then I realize they are home and they are my family. So I have to switch to “Go to bed!”

  15. Mrsbear

    No Strings Attached seems kind of a weird choice for the geriatric crowd, doesn’t it?

    We had the reverse circumstances last night at the carnival when we got on an upside down spinning ride with a bunch of teenagers. Even the ride attendant seemed a little concerned for our well-being. Luckily my heart didn’t explode or anything, so there’s that.

  16. Jenni

    Anytime doing anything sans children is time well spent. I’m glad G is feeling better.

  17. kyooty

    Giggle! that girl has a future in Crowd control or maybe law Inforcement? <—— how is that spelled wrong?

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