October 20, 2010 4:59 pm
I went to the movies with a friend the other night and neither of us had ever heard of anything playing(except The Social Network but I had promised to see it with another friend). We thought we were buying tickets for the Josh Duhamel/Kathryn Heigel movie but accidentally bought tickets to “You Again” with Sigourney Weaver. We didn’t realize we were in the wrong flick until the movie started rolling but stuck it out anyway.
I went to get a soda and came back to find my friend missing. I thought she was fucking with me but it turns out I walked into the original movie and not the one we were actually seeing.
There was a lady next to us who loudly exclaimed “uh oh” any time something interesting was about to happen. Or when a new character walked on screen. Or when the wind blew. It was a little distracting but I managed to refrain from punching the lady.
Jamie and I are in a recycling war. I have been busting my ass to keep the house clean enough to sell, but Jamie always leaves his empty cans sitting on the counter. The recycling bin is right outside the door, about 6 feet from the counter but I think he secretly likes pissing me off. Last week, I had just scoured and decluttered the entire kitchen when he dumped his can on the counter and I threw it at his stupid ass. Ok, I threw it in the general direction. Where he left it sit for a few hours before he finally put it in the recycling bin. Jerkface.
The house officially went on the market yesterday and I’ve been following the kids around cleaning up their messes ever since. I don’t know how long I can keep this shit up, I am more Pigpenesque and less neat freaky.
Oh, and our fucking Oak Tree is waging war on the driveway so we have to keep cleaning it off in the hopes that potential buyers don’t learn the evil that is that piece of shit tree.
My Mensa-worthy kids were at it again yesterday when they both purposely wedged themselves under the couch and then simultaneously freaked the fuck out when they realized they were stuck.
One of their new favorite activities is to play “puppies” and craw around barking and licking my leg (gross). The best is when they go in the dog crate and DEMAND that I lock them in there. Such a tempting babysitter but I’ve heard it’s illegal.
We’re having our first open house on Sunday and I’m not sure what to expect. We won’t be here so should I hide stuff? Are people going to be shitting in my toilets or sitting on my furniture? It kind of creeps me out making my house available to the general public. I kind of want to setup a webcam just to see how many of my nosy-assed neighbors show up. I could stream it live for you guys to watch too! Live random stranger pooping at Casey’s house! Woot!