August 12, 2010 3:54 pm
I’m not going to go on and on about BlogHer after this post. Not that we didn’t have a blast but in the previous years when I wasn’t there, I remember getting sick of hearing people whine on about what to wear and OMGAAAAAAAAAWD how much fun it was and blah blah blah. *Sniff*
So my roommie Mrs Bear and I got there on Thursday afternoon and quickly met up with Andrea, Jenni and Becky. Keely joined us later and we set out to find some grub. We ended up piling down a dark stairway into a big black abyss which turned out to be some cool, underground restaurant/drinking establishment with bull riding in the middle of the place. Of course, we were all too chicken shit (and not nearly G-Stringy enough) to ride but we enjoyed watching the local talent strut their stuff.
Andrea, Jenni, Keely, Becky, Mrs Bear and Small Town Mommy (Gretchen and I are missing from the shot)
The first night, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep away from my bed, body pillow and in a room with someone I’ve never bunked with before. To make matters worse, the air conditioner was on the wall right next to my bed and my entire bed vibrated when it was running. I was all “what the fuck, I will never be able to sleep with this ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” It lulled me to sleep like a newborn I haven’t slept better in months. *Note to baby swing manufacturers, make an adult version ASAP.
I went gluten/casein free this week so I went to NYC determined to eat every fucking bagel in the city. That coupled with my vacation poop freeze caused me to gain eight pounds on my trip. The poop dam didn’t open up until the last day of the trip and it took four days for all eight pounds to be freed.
A bunch of us went to MOMA on Saturday and had a nice time. I have to say though, my toddlers can produce better art then some of the shit there, I know it’s blasphemy but it’s true. We did the audio tour so it was entertaining to hear some of the crap they made up about what the artists were thinking when they produced their work.
Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I like art!
The swag booths were madness. At first, I was anti swag because really, why would a bunch of women start acting like total bitches and pushing each other just to get some free shit? Then I started making the rounds and was an instant addict. We had to unload in our rooms several times since the bags of crap were heavy. I even won a gift bag from Auto Trader which contained a heavy-assed tool kit that would have cost a pretty penny to ship home so I gifted it to our housekeeper. I also gave her some autographed books, Metamucil and a travel pillow. Because I’m nice like that. Even after dumping a bunch of stuff, I still had to ship a huge box of swag home since it was too much to bring on the plane.
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that most people just don’t get me. Like when I walked up to the tampon/vaginal cream swag booth and said “oh hey, I have a vagina!” and had about five people turn around and look at me like I have a second head. I do.
We followed some people up to the Eden Fantasys party where there was an entire craft table dedicated to decorating dildos and making condom earrings and broaches. I put on a “I Love An@l” pin from the party and later forgot to take it off for the subway and a cab ride.
On the second night, Mrs Bear, Andrea, Small Town Mommy and I went to a cool Irish Pub called Connolly’s. I’ve been there a few times before and always love to stop in there when I’m in NYC. The waiters have awesome Irish accents that get cooler with every subsequent drink.
The actual conference part was… meh. Not that it wasn’t great (I don’t know since I skipped a lot of it), but I don’t blog to make money, make a huge statement or become the next breakout super blogger. I only sat in one one of the sessions (The Autism Panel, Hi Stimey!) and it was pretty awesome. I skipped the rest and chose to do other stuff (like nap) during that time.
The parties reminded me of my 8th grade dance. I feel like I’m too old to get wasted and dance to Hammer Time but there were plenty of woo girls there who were really into it. And they looked like they were having a blast so more power to them. Dances have just never been my thing.
Some poor couple got married at the Hilton while the convention was going on. I’m sure getting hitched in a hotel full of drunken, loud mouthed women wasn’t what they signed up for but hopefully their interaction with the BlogHer women was minimal.
At one point, we were walking through Times Square when The Bear wanted a picture of some homeless dude. The guy was a little freaky looking and she wasn’t sure about snapping the picture so I grabbed the camera and headed in. Well, the dude got PISSED and started screaming at me to give him money (to take his picture? no thanks). I snapped the picture and scooted away as he screamed “WOMAN, MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! MONEY, WOMAN!!!”. Everyone thought that might be the end of me but I could have totally taken that dude.
In summation, I had a great time but I doubt I would do it again. I feel like a bitch saying this but there were a lot of cliquey women there. Like somehow I was reliving a scene from high school that I didn’t care for the first time around. You’re a fucking blogger, get over yourself. We all are and we went to NYC to hang with our friends and in hopes of meeting some new friends. I just didn’t get that aspect of the whole weekend but whatever. There were plenty of cool chicks there too so it wasn’t all bad.