I’m not going to go on and on about BlogHer after this post. Not that we didn’t have a blast but in the previous years when I wasn’t there, I remember getting sick of hearing people whine on about what to wear and OMGAAAAAAAAAWD how much fun it was and blah blah blah. *Sniff*

So my roommie Mrs Bear and I got there on Thursday afternoon and quickly met up with Andrea, Jenni and Becky. Keely joined us later and we set out to find some grub. We ended up piling down a dark stairway into a big black abyss which turned out to be some cool, underground restaurant/drinking establishment with bull riding in the middle of the place. Of course, we were all too chicken shit (and not nearly G-Stringy enough) to ride but we enjoyed watching the local talent strut their stuff.

Andrea, Jenni, Keely, Becky, Mrs Bear and Small Town Mommy (Gretchen and I are missing from the shot)

The first night, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep away from my bed, body pillow and in a room with someone I’ve never bunked with before. To make matters worse, the air conditioner was on the wall right next to my bed and my entire bed vibrated when it was running. I was all “what the fuck, I will never be able to sleep with this ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” It lulled me to sleep like a newborn I haven’t slept better in months. *Note to baby swing manufacturers, make an adult version ASAP.

I went gluten/casein free this week so I went to NYC determined to eat every fucking bagel in the city. That coupled with my vacation poop freeze caused me to gain eight pounds on my trip. The poop dam didn’t open up until the last day of the trip and it took four days for all eight pounds to be freed.

A bunch of us went to MOMA on Saturday and had a nice time. I have to say though, my toddlers can produce better art then some of the shit there, I know it’s blasphemy but it’s true. We did the audio tour so it was entertaining to hear some of the crap they made up about what the artists were thinking when they produced their work.

Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I like art!

The swag booths were madness. At first, I was anti swag because really, why would a bunch of women start acting like total bitches and pushing each other just to get some free shit? Then I started making the rounds and was an instant addict. We had to unload in our rooms several times since the bags of crap were heavy. I even won a gift bag from Auto Trader which contained a heavy-assed tool kit that would have cost a pretty penny to ship home so I gifted it to our housekeeper. I also gave her some autographed books, Metamucil and a travel pillow. Because I’m nice like that. Even after dumping a bunch of stuff, I still had to ship a huge box of swag home since it was too much to bring on the plane.

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that most people just don’t get me. Like when I walked up to the tampon/vaginal cream swag booth and said “oh hey, I have a vagina!” and had about five people turn around and look at me like I have a second head. I do.

We followed some people up to the Eden Fantasys party where there was an entire craft table dedicated to decorating dildos and making condom earrings and broaches. I put on a “I Love An@l” pin from the party and later forgot to take it off for the subway and a cab ride.

On the second night, Mrs Bear, Andrea, Small Town Mommy and I went to a cool Irish Pub called Connolly’s. I’ve been there a few times before and always love to stop in there when I’m in NYC. The waiters have awesome Irish accents that get cooler with every subsequent drink.

The actual conference part was… meh. Not that it wasn’t great (I don’t know since I skipped a lot of it), but I don’t blog to make money, make a huge statement or become the next breakout super blogger. I only sat in one one of the sessions (The Autism Panel, Hi Stimey!) and it was pretty awesome. I skipped the rest and chose to do other stuff (like nap) during that time.

The parties reminded me of my 8th grade dance. I feel like I’m too old to get wasted and dance to Hammer Time but there were plenty of woo girls there who were really into it. And they looked like they were having a blast so more power to them. Dances have just never been my thing.

Some poor couple got married at the Hilton while the convention was going on. I’m sure getting hitched in a hotel full of drunken, loud mouthed women wasn’t what they signed up for but hopefully their interaction with the BlogHer women was minimal.

At one point, we were walking through Times Square when The Bear wanted a picture of some homeless dude. The guy was a little freaky looking and she wasn’t sure about snapping the picture so I grabbed the camera and headed in. Well, the dude got PISSED and started screaming at me to give him money (to take his picture? no thanks). I snapped the picture and scooted away as he screamed “WOMAN, MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! MONEY, WOMAN!!!”. Everyone thought that might be the end of me but I could have totally taken that dude.

In summation, I had a great time but I doubt I would do it again. I feel like a bitch saying this but there were a lot of cliquey women there. Like somehow I was reliving a scene from high school that I didn’t care for the first time around. You’re a fucking blogger, get over yourself. We all are and we went to NYC to hang with our friends and in hopes of meeting some new friends. I just didn’t get that aspect of the whole weekend but whatever. There were plenty of cool chicks there too so it wasn’t all bad.

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  1. Mama Badger

    Nice summary. You’re not the only to say it was a bit like hs with the dances and cliques. Makes me re-think going next year.

    But the swag and eating parts sound like fun!

  2. Sprite's Keeper

    You would have had a better time if I was there. That’s the only way I can rationalize what I missed with you guys.
    I hear you on the cliques though. BlogHer can make some people let their readership counts go to their heads.

  3. Michele

    I always think I want to go but then when everyone gets back I’m kind of glad I didn’t spend the money. I would like to meet all my blog friends in person though.

    Damn Becky looks tall! I would have felt all shrimpy next to her.

  4. ck

    hahahahahahaha! it WAS like an eighth grade dance. I mean, it looked like one from out in the hall. Maybe that’s why I didn’t join in!

  5. Lizgizzy

    I’ve always heard good stuff about Blogher, and wondered if it was really that wonderful. It is good to hear from the other point of view. I’ve never been a joiner and conferences usually leave me feeling a little bit lonely. I know I blog, but even though I’m talking about personal stuff it is still a pretty isolated endeavor.

    On the flip side, I’d love to meet a few of the people that I follow, but I don’t know if I’d have the courage to say hi……

  6. Kate

    I found your site from Servant To a King. I love it. I’m going to poke around a little bit, but don’t worry I’ll put everything back where I found it!!

  7. Jenni

    It was so awesome to meet you for real! I wish there was more time, but I’m glad we went to that autism panel. It was the best one I attended.

  8. robin

    Sorry I wasn’t able to get together with you guys! You were in my old hood… I worked just a few blocks away for a million years! Or at least it seemed that long. Connolly’s is a great place. Wish I’d been there!
    As for the high-school-ish part of the conference? I had a feeling it would be a little like that. No thanks on that one!

  9. Anne

    If nothing else, I thought it was fabulous to get to know you and spend time with you. Oh, and you could have totally taken the guy with the blue hair. I think all you would have had to do is wave something shiny and he would have been completely lost.

    I still have my condom earrings but they don’t have much of a place in the Small Town. I am thinking of wearing them to a PTA meeting just to liven things up a little.

  10. Lin

    I just came from Small Town Mommy’s blog and I read over there that you went to Blogher and you didn’t tell me or text me and now we ain’t BFF’s anymore. Hrumpf. (Was that 8th grade enough to make you feel like you were back at Blogher?? ) Anywho….I didn’t know you were going!! Dang! Now I’m really sad I didn’t go because I know we would have had a blast. 🙁 Bummer. Glad you escaped the demon seeds and went by yourself. Good for you, chicky!! AND you had fun!! Color me soooooo jealous.

  11. Andrea

    OMG! You are so YOU in person just like you are YOU on your blog. When I just read all that I was like, mmm hmm, yep, she says it Just Like That!

    I had so much fun hanging out with you and the Bear and STM. Next time let’s just meet in the middle and do girly weekend without all the cliquey dance crap!

  12. If I Could Escape

    Sounds like you guys would have been the funnest to hang out with even if you were a bit bunged up! That would have made me cranky! LOL Thanks for keeping it real and sharing an awesome post about BlogHer.

  13. Captain Dumbass

    If I was there I would have wanted to hang out with your group.

  14. Heather @ Girl Gone Mom

    You are still cracking me up. Must follow you blog. The I heart anal pin tops it all.


  15. Erin

    in summation, i remember you well, was at the MoMA same day you were wondering just how the hell a bigass pink lincoln log on a wall is art, feel very much like you did at the conference (and awkard dance-with-your-purse parties), and love to cuss. obviously, i will be visiting your site often. also? elliot for a girl’s name rocks.

  16. Keely

    Hahhahhahhahahahahah, “I have a vagina!”

    I don’t see how that’s NOT funny.

  17. anymommy

    Awesome. Your last paragraph cracked me up. I’m a heartbroken that I didn’t find you, especially if you aren’t going to do it again!

  18. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Oh, the part with you guys all hanging out sounds like such fun! Glad you got some good swag. Wherever there are masses of women, HS will always be relived, huh?

  19. Ginny Marie

    I agree with Keely…vagina comment = funny! Hanging out with that awesome group of women sounds like the best part of Blogher!

  20. kirsty

    Sounds like you had a blast! Now I’m off to have a sulk that I couldn’t go! ;O)

  21. Mrsbear

    Aw. I totally get you. Well, I mean I understand that you’re proud of your vagina. I’m very accepting of that. And your second head is really not that noticeable. 🙂

  22. Vic DaChick

    I’m kinda glad to see I wasn’t alone in the feeling cliquey department. I thought it was just my anti-social and socially awkward self coming out to play. I did like the sessions though, most of em, kind of, and of course the swag was great. The parties though, again, socially awkward and anti-social, so I kinda just wanted to hide under a table.

  23. SuziCate

    You so could have taken on that dude! You could have beaten him with his freaky hat!!!! Thanks for the review…no need for me to ever plan on going to one because I don’t blog for money and I sooooooo hate cliques like you wouldn’t believe!!!! Glad you had fun and got lots of swag!

  24. jessica

    the homeless guy sounded like my ex during our divorce Just sayin…

  25. Pseudo

    I loved your wrap up Casey ; -) I so would have laughed at your vagina one liner.

    SWAG? I would have pushed out an elbow or two for a camera….mine broke and I’d love a free camera. I’d mention the effing freebie everytime I posted a photo. I mine, I live in Hawaii, come on camera people.

    Other than that, I am on the downsizing side of life.

    Cliques? I didn’t like them when I WAS in HS, so I would not be apt to pay much attention to bloggers full of themselves.

    Would have had fun hanging with you and Mrs Bear and your buds though.

    PS My daughter is going gluten free…

  26. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz

    Okay, homeless dude dressed like a pimp? Now this is a place I could totally get down at! I hate the uncomfortable pictures that just HAVE to be taken. I feel like a total bitch. But good god, some things just HAVE to be captured and shared!

  27. guarros

    Woo girls, pimps and condom earrings – oh MY! Glad by in large you had a good time – probably better than the poor newlywed couple who didn’t realize they were descending on 2500 woo girls wearing condom earrings. Glad to meet you/ however briefly and lord knows when! I don’t know if I was wooing or not / but that usually irritates me and I don’t think I noticed it that much. It could have been because I blacked out from over stimulation and have forgotten it all together!

  28. blissfully caffeinated

    “vacation poop freeze” lol! I know it well. Wish I could have been there to meet you guys. Next year is San Diego and I’m going, hope you change your mind and decide to try it again. I’d love to decorate dildos with ya!

  29. Alexandra

    Oh, best post on BLOGHER ever.

    Loved this: the truth. It’s why I didnt go. Too much money to be spent, but, maybe, if you go with someone, it might be fun.

    Loved this, I truly did.

    And I would have cracked. up. at “oh, I have a vagina.”

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