Waah Waah Waah, I miss blogging, I promise to blog more. Then I disappear for another month. No more promises, bitches, I’ve got too much going on here. Stop pressuring me.

So we got the house. We found out a few weeks ago and closed yesterday. Jamie and I celebrated by bring takeout back to the new place and stuffing it in our faces before rushing home to relieve the sitter. Fun times.

They left a damn trampoline in the yard which sucks for us since they won’t insure us if there’s one. So I posted that shit on Craigslist and had to take the post down ten minutes later after getting 8 emails. Talk about stalkers.

Now we have to: fix/replace the flooring, install new interior doors and hardware, new entry doors, patch and paint every single wall and baseboard, scrape the popcorn off of the ceilings and clean like mofos. The trick is doing all of that while living 50 minutes away and being responsible for two rowdy toddlers that we have to cook every morsel of food from scratch for. Any ideas?

Oh, and did I mention that we plan to be living there by Xmas? It is a daunting task but we have to get all of the paint/chemical fumes out of there before the kids move in because of their chemical sensitivities.

Earlier this week, Graham started rubbing another school mom’s belly and saying “there’s a baby in there!!!”. I really couldn’t tell either way if she was pregnant but I apologized and told her we’re still learning couth in our house. I went back to ask the teacher if the other mom was expecting and luckily she was. Holy fucking hell that was a close one.

Me: I lost 30lbs since the last time you were visiting

My sister-in-law: Really? I can’t tell

Me: ……..

And you wonder why we have a rule that out of town visitors have to stay in a hotel.

Graham is totally into the princess thing lately and is learning all of their names when they play dress up at school. Yesterday he told me I was Cindy-rella and he has renamed Elliot Princess Pea. I think it’s adorable and I totally want to get pictures for future blackmail.

Go check out that Keely chick, if she’s even still around. How the hell would I know, I don’t blog.



  1. Sprite's Keeper

    Yay for renovation projects! (You can stop cursing me now.):-)

  2. Ginny Marie

    When you pop up in my reader, I say “Yay!” I’m glad to see that you’re still alive and kicking. I hope everything goes well and you are in that new house by Christmas…you definitely won’t have time to blog now!

  3. Becky

    Hurray hurray! That is so exciting, even if it is a butt ton of work. The logistics will be tough. Any way you can pay painters to do all the wall/ceiling stuff? In any case, I betcha you can be in there by Christmas. Keep us posted (NO PRESSURE!)

  4. Anne

    Good luck with the renovations. You will be grateful that you aren’t trying to live in the house while you are tearing it apart. Good luck with the renovations and if you get a chance, keep us posted.

  5. Mama Badger

    So, your posting for the next few weeks will be all before and after pictures with no words? I’m down with that.

    Good luck. Try to stay sane. Do you have a day where you can make some food for the kiddos and freeze it on up for those long nights?

  6. Jenni

    Whoa, that a lot of reno girl. Can you get Vanilla Ice up in your joint to do it for you? He has that new show where he fixes up house and flips them, and I’m pretty sure he’s in Florida.

    Good luck, sista! Miss you.

    PS Fuck your sister in law.

  7. Sheila

    Congrats on getting the house!
    Good luck with the renovation. I
    can come down there and beat the SIL on your behalf, if you’d like. Just let me know. People at work are pissing me off and I need to work off some anger!

  8. Andrea

    The baby thing cracks me up. OMG I have got to meet this kid. He’s awesome.

    Yea! On the house. Yea!

    Good luck with all the work…
    I’m currently with houseguest otherwise I’d you know text or email or something…

  9. Keely

    Blogging totally includes posting future blackmail pics. I look forward to seeing them.

  10. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    CONGRATS on the new house! And GOOD LUCK with the lightning speed renovations…if I lived closer, I’d help with… something… 😉

    That was a close call on the expecting mommy – *whew*! 🙂

    Would LOVE to see before and after pics – you don’t have to write any words with them (probably not even ‘before’ or ‘after’, since I’m sure we’ll figure it out).

    And blackmail pictures are a must! 😉

  11. Michele

    First things first.
    From now on you will be double or triple batch cooking every.damn.thing. That way you can leave the kids with a sitter without food worries.

    Second; make things that are portable. So you can take it with you to the new house instead of chomping down fast food and gaining that 30 pounds back. SIL=bitch. I’m just saying.

    Third you buy me a plane ticket to help out because I love reno and toddlers!

  12. Cyndi at The Adventures of HarryJack

    Hugs and good luck! Can’t wait until it’s over because I *know* you’ll have great stories for us all. Will be sending good thoughts your way and the evil eye to silly SILs….I thought you looked like you had lost weight, and I’m looking at you thru a tiny screen 😉 Happy Chaos!

  13. Captain Dumbass

    As a responsible parent it’s your duty and obligation to get those photos.

  14. Leslie

    Wow 30 lbs – I could totally tell. You look smokin’ hot. You sister-in-law is just jealous!

    My husband and I did the total renovation thing when I was pregnant – nothing like ripping up carpet and painting baseboards when you’re 8 months along. And the person he had to cook for was ME.

    Just remember the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time and it will get done that way – even if it tastes like shit!

    Can’t wait to hear about your adventures!

  15. FoN

    You lost 30 POUNDS! You rock. I’m totally impressed.

    Congrats on the house!

  16. SuziCate

    Renovations, toddler cooking, two mortgages, a rude SIL…I have a headache for you! I sure hope all gets done according to plan for you!

  17. LIzgizzy

    Welcome back- I want to see pictures of the new house!

    Congrats on the 30 pounds- I’ve lost 3.

  18. If I Could Escape

    Where are you my fellow blogging bud? I could use some of your comic relief right now. Things are kinda sucky at the moment and I’m hoping to be back in Florida for Christmas to recharge, spend some time with my family and think things through. Eeeh, life is strange!

  19. Kate

    With blessing from Sprite’s Keeper I am attempting to coordinate Happy Holiday Blogtastic Shout Out to spread love across the blogosphere. If you’re interested in participating or finding out more information check out the plan here:

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