I JUST now realized that Dawson from Dawson’s Creek and Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell aren’t the same dude. Deep down, I know that’s not true. Has anyone ever seen them both in the same place? I didn’t think so.

My dog Chloe ate my night guard about a year ago and I’m just now getting around to having it replaced. I picked up my new one at the dentist today and with my tail between my legs, promised AGAIN to keep it out of my dog’s reach lest I have to pay several hundred dollars for another replacement.

Guilty Party On The Left:

A few days back, Parent’s Just Don’t Understand came on the radio and in my 33 year old awesomeness, I still knew every damn word. I would be willing to bet that the rebel yell is coming back to bite Will Smith in the ass as he raises his kids.

Yesterday I bought a Grateful Dead shirt at Kohls. Which is kind of ironic that they sell Dead shirts in a major clothing chain but whatever, it reminded me of my youth. I donned my new shirt today and Jamie is pretending he doesn’t know me because he thinks I look ridiculous.

We have remote start in my Mommy Mobile for the scorching Florida heat. Yesterday at swim class, someone made an announcement that there was  a car running in the parking lot. I identified myself as the idiot who somehow started her car with her keys seemingly stored safely in her pockets. Unfortunately, it’s not the first time this has happened.

My SIL was down last week and we went for our regular vacation pedicures. This one hideous color stood out to me and I was racking my brain to figure out why.  When we went in the pool later that day, it hit me. I present to you: Earplug Toes:

So I finally decided to do the poop test to see if I am gluten intolerant like the kids. This involved a rather embarrassing poop specimen collection phase followed by the part where I had to store my shit in the freezer before shipping it to the lab. My loving husband was generous enough to take my poop to the post office because isn’t that what love is all about? Mailing shit bombs across the country?

Apparently this random shit is supposed to happen on Tuesday but I arrived fashionably late. Go see Keely.

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16 Comments

  1. Mama Badger
    on
    1

    I’m glad he was willing to deal with that load of krappe for you.

    I’m betting Will Smith’s nanny is the one dealing with that sass for him.

    And the nightguard? At least you had a good excuse. I have no idea where mine is, and haven’t replaced it because you know when I do I’ll find it (but how the hell did I lose it in the first place???)

  2. Captain Dumbass
    on
    2

    Wuv… twuuu wuv…

  3. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    3

    I don’t even know what to attack on this RTT, and you’re right, I’ve never seen Van Der Beek and Zach Morris in the same place either. Hm..

  4. Beth
    on
    4

    What?! That dog on the left couldn’t possibility have done something wrong…..just look at that beautiful, innocent face!

  5. Jenni
    on
    5

    I’m a little surprised that one can ship poop through the mail. It’s not perishable?

  6. robin
    on
    6

    That’s like butt dialing your cell phone!
    (What? It happens!)

  7. Cara
    on
    7

    Dude. Jamie’s got some mad love for you…being seen with you while you’re wearing your GD shirt AND hauling your shit across town?

    I’m the one who always manages to turn my panic alarm on from inside the store yet the damn doors won’t unlock until I’m 5 feet away.

  8. Lin
    on
    8

    I hate Kohl’s and I’m really surprised you found something “hip” in that place. Really. All they sell is outdated knit wear for old ladies. What are YOU doing in there???! Gather your coolness and get the hell outta there, Casey!

  9. Michele
    on
    9

    I just knew that you couldn’t get through a whole post without the word poop. I’m so proud!

    I almost applied for a job archiving all the grateful dead materials that are held in California. I didn’t because I really have never been a Dead fan. I’ll write you a letter of recommendation if you want the job.

  10. Ginny Marie
    on
    10

    I think Chloe looks very repentant! And guilty. Ed wears earplugs at night, and it drives me crazy because then I’m always the one who gets woken up by the girls in the middle of the night. He claims it’s because I snore. Ha!

  11. bex
    on
    11

    You can do a poop sample for test for gluten intolerance? Right on!

    Great random shit, Casey.

  12. Mrsbear
    on
    12

    I just bought a Jimmy Hendrix tee a couple of months back at the Old Navy, which my delightful teenage daughter shakes her head about…she almost bought it for herself. I propose we bring our ridiculous tee-shirts to Blogher and wear them happily while your husband and my daughter scoff in a whole separate state. Booya!

    I’ve never sent my shit in to the atmosphere. I’m a little jealous. 😛

  13. Keely
    on
    13

    I wonder if there’s a Canadian shit receptacle for that test.

  14. jessica
    on
    14

    I actually like the color. I wear clothes from the teen section from H&M so I cannot comment on your choice of clothing. Your husband is a fucking saint.

  15. Maureen@IslandRoar
    on
    15

    What? No poop results yet? Way to leave us hanging.
    That guilty doggie who ate your guard is quite adorable.
    And I want a car I can start from my pocket! Mine barely start when I’m in them with an actual key in the ignition…

  16. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings
    on
    16

    Dawson and Zack are two different people?! What?!

    Hey, loved the crap you doled out this week. Er… I mean..the crap you had to…never mind. 🙂

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