Well hello there, is this thing on? I realize it’s been awhile. Life is getting in the way of the blog, man. Hopefully I’m back around to read and post semi-regularly. Since signing up for BlogHer, I’ve stopped blogging pretty much altogether and that kind of defeats the purpose of going, ya know?

Let’s see… what has been going on in the life of HAGAY…

We had a weekend without kids this past weekend. We left around noonish on Friday and returned around noonish on Sunday and it.was. AWESOME! Jamie and I drove over to Orlando to see Blue Man Group and just relax. We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and loved every minute of it. We seriously sat in the hotel room and just stared at the wall. The peace and quiet was blissful.  On Saturday, we headed back to Tampa for a friend’s 40th birthday party. We got a hotel since my parents were here with the kids and we wanted to continue on with our kidless weekend sans kids. Duh.

So even though my past weekend was marvelous, it still contained its share of shitty antics. Like when we stopped at the casino on our way out of town because Jamie had a free birthday lunch coupon. It was buffet style and although I’m usually anti-buffet, it was like a king’s feast. I got over my germophobic ways and ate like a mofo.

Then, uhm… my stomach started churning and I knew I was going to have to “do the deed” in the casino bathroom. I’m not a fan of public pooping but we had a ninety minute drive ahead of us and I’m also not a fan of cleaning shit out of car upholstery. In I went. I utilized the flush/poop/wait method that has proven successful in the past. I thought I’d be clever and text Jamie status updates during my waiting periods. It was during one of those that I DROPPED MY PHONE. Not in the toilet, don’t worry, but on the floor and it bounced into the stall next to me. I quickly cleaned up and opened the door to retrieve my phone. WHERE THE FUCKING RESTROOM ATTENDANT WAS STANDING, WITH MY PHONE IN HAND. She handed it back with a “I know you just shit your ass off” grin and then asked if I was done and walked into my shit-air filled stall. Nothing says embarrassment like getting called out on a public shitting.

Then on the way home from Orlando, we stopped at Pizzeria Uno for lunch. We hit the gym Friday and Saturday so I don’t feel SO bad about our weekend food intake but still, there was a lot of food consumed. Wouldn’t  you know it, the second we pull onto the interstate toward Tampa, my stomach starts churning again. I made Jamie pull over and find a bathroom. Did I mention I  hate public pooping? Well I walk in and sit down around the same time as some other lady. We both know what the other is doing but this lady clearly misread me. She initiated The Standoff, and tried to wait me out so she could poop in peace. I was all, “oh no, bitch, it’s ON now and I will sit here all fucking day if I have to!”. And so I sat. And she sat. We must have both sat there for ten minutes waiting for the other one to leave. She proved to be a worthy opponent but I won out in the end and she left. Don’t fuck with me, people.

We went looking at five different Michael’s stores for something that my mom is looking for for her upcoming wedding. If you’re confused by that, my parents have been together for 33 years but have never tied the knot and are planning to in October. Anyways, my Martha Stewart-ish mom is searching for the perfect wedding favor and has bought up all of the supplies at the stores in three counties. If you’re headed to a Michaels near you and wouldn’t mind checking your store, shoot me an email and I’ll send you a pic. That was quite the advertisement considering my parents don’t know I have a blog.

On a somber note, Jamie’s dad passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. Thanks in advance for all of your well wishes, Jamie is doing pretty well considering. We flew to PA for a week for the funeral and to visit with family and the kids were actually awesome on the plane. And yes, I brought them back to FL with me.

A friend’s friend told me that she “loves my blog” while we were at a party the other night. I had no idea that local people actually READ my blog so it kind of threw me off guard. Especially after having a few beers. I was all paranoid, looking around the room to see “who else knows!”.

I sometimes go “cowboy style” when Jamie farts by pulling my shirt up over my nose and mouth. Graham thinks it’s hilarious and wants me to make fake fart noises so he can go cowboy style too.

Elliot turned two a couple of weeks ago, complete with a bounce party and gluten/dye free cupcakes. She is talking up a storm and screaming even more. Ahh, to be two again. My parents absolutely LOVE the kids but they couldn’t get out of here fast enough when we got home on Sunday. All night toddler parties and all day toddler tantrums were on the menu. Meanwhile, the parents of those toddlers were off in Orlando, quietly staring at a hotel room wall…

Go get your random on!

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39 Comments

  1. Captain Dumbass
    on
    1

    So many possible comments to make here, I don’t know what to pick.

  2. Mad Woman
    on
    2

    I don’t like to dump in public either. In fact, I avoid public toilets as much as possible.

    Sorry to hear about FIL’s passing. ((HUGS))

    Glad to see you back here 🙂

  3. Michele
    on
    3

    Send the picture of what your mom is looking for. I’ll search the Michaels and Hobby Lobby. I thought of about five different comments while I was reading and now can’t remember a single one. Well, as you know shit happens.

  4. Peggy
    on
    4

    Hi Casey…absolutely hilarious post! We call it “pip” (poop in public, secret codeword…brilliant eh?)and it sucks!

    Sorry to hear about Jamie’s father.

    Glad you had a great weekend!

  5. Maureen@IslandRoar
    on
    5

    Oh, you had so much packed into this! Happy Birthday to your 2 year old, that’s a big one!
    And your parents are just getting around to tying the knot now? They sound like my kind of people.
    I’m so sorry about Jamie’s dad. We’re never ready for that one.

  6. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    6

    My condolenses again, Casey and Jamie.
    The standoff is always fun. I’ve walked into a bathroom where all three stalls were occupied by a trio of waiters. I finally just used the men’s room since I had to go and they weren’t budging.

  7. Elle
    on
    7

    It must’ve been fantastic to get away for a whole weekend without the kids. I don’t even remember what that’s like.

    I’m so sorry about Jamies’s dad.

  8. Laufa
    on
    8

    Whoa, you have been busy!
    Sorry about the churning. Remember everyone poops…just get it over with. My son sings in public restrooms when he has to go. I see a lot of comical faces of men coming out of the bathroom. Plus, it helps me know that he;s ok in the mens bathroom too. You should try it sometime.
    My condolences!

  9. Mrsbear
    on
    9

    Oh, how I long to stare at hotel room walls in silence.

    I haven’t been to an Uno’s in ages. I used to love their pizza skins. Although after your poop fiasco I’m not so much in the mood for pizza as I was before…who am I kidding, pizza is always good. How many more times can I say pizza? pizzapizzapizzapizzapizza

    I’m done. 🙂

  10. Mrsbear
    on
    10

    Good to see you back and blogging. 🙂

  11. Suzicate
    on
    11

    Your public poop stand off is hilarious! Sorry about your FIL.

  12. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    12

    You have been missed!

    My condolences again to you and Jamie.

    So wait – there were a couple of birthdays? Jamie and Graham? Happy Birthday(s)! 🙂

    I’m not a fan of public bathrooms, either. So I’ve been the participant in a standoff or two. 😉

    “Cowboy style” – love it! I’m going to teach Princess Nagger that the next time hubby lets loose with a barking spider. 😉

  13. Mama Badger
    on
    13

    Ahhh, the standoff. Been there, done that. Then there’s the other side of it. When you give first and it becomes “the race”. That’s when you decide you must “give” first and go as fast as you can so that you don’t meet the other person at the sink when you’re done. You have to admit a lot of thinking goes into this particular bodily function.

    Glad to hear that you guys were able to get away for a few days. Sounds like you needed the r and r.

  14. Jamie
    on
    14

    Wow, that was a lot of post about poop. I LOVED IT! Poop is a big deal in our house with a 2 year old and pregnant woman.

  15. Gina
    on
    15

    LOL! I’m not going to say why I thought your rant on public pooping was so funny. Maybe it’s because I have “a friend” with the same problem.

    Too, too funny!
    Glad you got away for the weekend though!

  16. Jenni
    on
    16

    You are the pooping stand off queen.

    Happy birthday to your baby girl! Photos, please.

  17. robin
    on
    17

    You leave us for a while and then come back with JUST too much good stuff in one post! How is a girl supposed to come up with a good comment now? Huh?
    PS – Condolences to you and Jamie.

  18. Sheila
    on
    18

    So glad you are back…poop shame is soo weird, isn’t it? I mean, we all poop!
    Gene Weingarten is a columnist for Washington Post…he talks about poop shame in his online chat.

  19. Lin
    on
    19

    GIRL, where have you been??! Crap, I’ve missed ya. Glad you had a good time being kid-free and pooping up and down the freeway. Folks do it all the time, and I know it because I always seem to be following Mrs. Poopypants in the restroom. (Hint: It stinks and the seat is WARM, so I know what they’ve been doing) Whatever. You gotta go, you gotta go.

    Glad you are back. Don’t go away for so long next time, okay?? 😉

  20. Ginny Marie
    on
    20

    Even though I know that some of the people I know read my blog, it still freaks me out a little when they mention it. I have to think back on what I’ve written, and wonder if I’ve offended anyone! Your way is probably better! 🙂

  21. If I Could Escape
    on
    21

    Woo hoo! Glad to see you’re back and had me laughing at your posts again.

    I swear I still have to email you back about when and where we should get together. Maybe an evening meet-upnwithout the kiddos would be best?

    So, so jealous of your weekend away without kids even if did have a lot of erm, shit happening!!

    And, sorry to hear about Jamie’s dad. Hugs.

  22. Pollyanna
    on
    22

    I’ve been on hiatus for a bit too – welcome back to us!

    Public pooping sucks. If someone else is present, I try to time the “plop” with someone flushing. Usually doesn’t work out though.

    I’m going to Michael’s this weekend – what are you looking for?

  23. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings
    on
    23

    I never realized public pooping was so stressful….Um…now I’ll be more stressed actually…

  24. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt
    on
    24

    How much do you have to tip the attendant for something like that?

  25. Keely
    on
    25

    So you were playing poop chicken?

    That’s sweet that your parents are finally tying the knot! That’ll be me and Paul, by the time we get around to it…

  26. jen
    on
    26

    um. i rarely blog now that i’m going to blogher. seriously. it’s weird.
    i can check our michaels if you need me to.

  27. Andrea
    on
    27

    I think its both funny and cute that your parents are finally getting married. Bet you never thought you’d beat them to the alter huh?

    Sent you an email re Michaels.

    What is this sign up for BlogHer and the tickets holders stop blogging? I think it’s going around.

  28. Zip n Tizzy
    on
    28

    Yay for getting away even if it meant a few public toilets. (I totally get it!)
    I would think the favors would have to be good if they’ve waited 33 years. Talk about pressure!

    So sorry about Jamie’s Dad.

    Happy Birthday to your sweet girl.

    Phew… what a post. Did I catch everything?

  29. Pammie
    on
    29

    I lose at the standoff nearly every time. It may have something to do with having kids waiting for me and I’m always afraid they’ll be kidnapped before I get the job finished. I’m a super pooper.

  30. ck
    on
    30

    So happy to see you back – AND ON A TUESDAY, NO LESS! (You know how I feel about your Tuesday posts, even though it’s Friday now and I’m just catching up.)

    I do solemnly swear, dearest Casey, should we ever share “stall space” I will never initiate a stand-off. Though if I did, you’d be in for it.

  31. Tracie
    on
    31

    I don’t even like to pee in public let alone poo!

  32. Pseudo
    on
    32

    I’m so excited for you that you are going to blogher. I wish I was going.

  33. Sandie
    on
    33

    I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the only one who has no issue with public restrooms. I can pee and poop anywhere without concern!

    I, for one, am glad you took a bit of a blogging break. Doesn’t make me feel so bad about not reading as regularly as I used to. 🙂 Glad you’re back though!

  34. jessica
    on
    34

    this is why I adore you. That whole thing about the poop, darlin, you are spot on and hilarious

  35. kat
    on
    35

    Hi, Case. Miss you awready. havent been crawling about the bloggyworld so I just drop by your blogs once in a while. Sorry to Jamie too for his loss.

  36. Lizgizzy
    on
    36

    Public restrooms are a necessary evil- hate having to use them, but it is necessary.

    I love that your parents are getting hitched. I’m sorry about Jamie’s dad…that just sucks.

    Happy belated b-day Elliot!

  37. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    37

    Just had to stop back by to wish you a

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    🙂

  38. Julie From Momspective
    on
    38

    I am madly, MADLY in love with you and will resume stalking you soon.

  39. Bano
    on
    39

    Being a mom really gets in the way of blogging about being a mom, huh? Glad to see you back–and as funny as ever. 🙂

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