April 26, 2010 10:53 pm
Well hello there, is this thing on? I realize it’s been awhile. Life is getting in the way of the blog, man. Hopefully I’m back around to read and post semi-regularly. Since signing up for BlogHer, I’ve stopped blogging pretty much altogether and that kind of defeats the purpose of going, ya know?
Let’s see… what has been going on in the life of HAGAY…
We had a weekend without kids this past weekend. We left around noonish on Friday and returned around noonish on Sunday and it.was. AWESOME! Jamie and I drove over to Orlando to see Blue Man Group and just relax. We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel and loved every minute of it. We seriously sat in the hotel room and just stared at the wall. The peace and quiet was blissful. On Saturday, we headed back to Tampa for a friend’s 40th birthday party. We got a hotel since my parents were here with the kids and we wanted to continue on with our kidless weekend sans kids. Duh.
So even though my past weekend was marvelous, it still contained its share of shitty antics. Like when we stopped at the casino on our way out of town because Jamie had a free birthday lunch coupon. It was buffet style and although I’m usually anti-buffet, it was like a king’s feast. I got over my germophobic ways and ate like a mofo.
Then, uhm… my stomach started churning and I knew I was going to have to “do the deed” in the casino bathroom. I’m not a fan of public pooping but we had a ninety minute drive ahead of us and I’m also not a fan of cleaning shit out of car upholstery. In I went. I utilized the flush/poop/wait method that has proven successful in the past. I thought I’d be clever and text Jamie status updates during my waiting periods. It was during one of those that I DROPPED MY PHONE. Not in the toilet, don’t worry, but on the floor and it bounced into the stall next to me. I quickly cleaned up and opened the door to retrieve my phone. WHERE THE FUCKING RESTROOM ATTENDANT WAS STANDING, WITH MY PHONE IN HAND. She handed it back with a “I know you just shit your ass off” grin and then asked if I was done and walked into my shit-air filled stall. Nothing says embarrassment like getting called out on a public shitting.
Then on the way home from Orlando, we stopped at Pizzeria Uno for lunch. We hit the gym Friday and Saturday so I don’t feel SO bad about our weekend food intake but still, there was a lot of food consumed. Wouldn’t you know it, the second we pull onto the interstate toward Tampa, my stomach starts churning again. I made Jamie pull over and find a bathroom. Did I mention I hate public pooping? Well I walk in and sit down around the same time as some other lady. We both know what the other is doing but this lady clearly misread me. She initiated The Standoff, and tried to wait me out so she could poop in peace. I was all, “oh no, bitch, it’s ON now and I will sit here all fucking day if I have to!”. And so I sat. And she sat. We must have both sat there for ten minutes waiting for the other one to leave. She proved to be a worthy opponent but I won out in the end and she left. Don’t fuck with me, people.
We went looking at five different Michael’s stores for something that my mom is looking for for her upcoming wedding. If you’re confused by that, my parents have been together for 33 years but have never tied the knot and are planning to in October. Anyways, my Martha Stewart-ish mom is searching for the perfect wedding favor and has bought up all of the supplies at the stores in three counties. If you’re headed to a Michaels near you and wouldn’t mind checking your store, shoot me an email and I’ll send you a pic. That was quite the advertisement considering my parents don’t know I have a blog.
On a somber note, Jamie’s dad passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. Thanks in advance for all of your well wishes, Jamie is doing pretty well considering. We flew to PA for a week for the funeral and to visit with family and the kids were actually awesome on the plane. And yes, I brought them back to FL with me.
A friend’s friend told me that she “loves my blog” while we were at a party the other night. I had no idea that local people actually READ my blog so it kind of threw me off guard. Especially after having a few beers. I was all paranoid, looking around the room to see “who else knows!”.
I sometimes go “cowboy style” when Jamie farts by pulling my shirt up over my nose and mouth. Graham thinks it’s hilarious and wants me to make fake fart noises so he can go cowboy style too.
Elliot turned two a couple of weeks ago, complete with a bounce party and gluten/dye free cupcakes. She is talking up a storm and screaming even more. Ahh, to be two again. My parents absolutely LOVE the kids but they couldn’t get out of here fast enough when we got home on Sunday. All night toddler parties and all day toddler tantrums were on the menu. Meanwhile, the parents of those toddlers were off in Orlando, quietly staring at a hotel room wall…
Tags: Random Tuesday Thoughts