March 22, 2010 11:01 am
Elliot sailed through her ear tube/adenoid removal surgery just fine yesterday. She was a little pissy post-op but wouldn’t you be? Hopefully this is the end to her ear pain and she’ll be a new woman (toddler).
I had lunch at Panera last week and managed to thoroughly enjoy pissing some guy off. While waiting for my order, I witnessed him yell at the people in the back when they were clearly doing nothing wrong. I chuckled and said “wow, someone is angry today”. I kind of said it in my passive/aggressive “you’re an asshole” tone but the dude heard me and it set him off. He said “you try waiting for fucking people to acknowledge you and tell me if you get angry”. Then he walked off to his table yelling how some people need to “mind their own fucking business”. It was fun to poke the angry bear and I laughed my way to the drink fountain.
I texted Jamie to let him know about my run in and he warned me that I was probably going to get knifed by the angry dude. I agreed but thankfully, it didn’t happen.
We finally got Graham’s poop test results back last week and it’s not good. He definitely is allergic to gluten and news to us, soy too. So he’s basically allowed to eat cardboard and that’s it. My Betty Crocker skills are being used more and more each day and it sucks balls.
Poor Graham’s teachers. Like it’s not bad enough that I’m the weirdo dye-free parent, now we’re gluten free too. And soy. Did you know Play-Doh has gluten in it? So now every time they let him touch it, they have to scour his hands immediately afterward to avoid contamination. They LOVE me.
I had blood drawn last week to test me for the gluten crap too. The DNA swab showed that Graham got one Celiac’s DNA marker from each parent. Grr. The nurse did something wacky and I had blood dripping down my arm onto my jeans. She was mortified but I thought it was cool. I looked like someone from one of those crime scene shows.
Holy shit you guys, have you ever seen a toddler act wasted? They gave Elliot some sort of “drunk off your ass” syrup before taking her back yesterday and man did she let her guard down. Her little head was rolling back and her eyes were half open as she giggled and kissed Jamie over and over. It was hilarious and we asked for our own personal supply to give her at home. They declined.
We blew up our riding mower last week so we had to get a new one. Apparently, it’s a bad thing to run it with NO FUCKING OIL IN THE MOTOR. Uh, duh. That one cost us a pretty penny.
My mail lady hates us. It started when we had to sign for a letter and weren’t home the first two times she tried to deliver it. Then I started ordering all sorts of gluten free shit and she has to carry heavy boxes of flour to the door. Now she puts our mail in the very back of the mailbox so my lazy ass actually has to unbuckle my seat belt and open the car door to get it. Yeah, I drive to the mailbox but only when we’re on our way somewhere. You try walking to the mailbox with two toddlers who like to bolt and tell me how that works out for you. Lastly, my $5 off grocery coupon stopped showing up every week and I know it’s a conspiracy. How does one make up with a pissed off mail carrier?
My reader is approaching the 300 point and I plan on hiring a full time nanny so I can catch up with my blogging. What? Not a valid reason to have someone else watch my kids? Crap. Thanks to all of you who left kind words on my previous post. It was nice to hear I’m not alone in this crazy world of parenting, even if I am still crazy.
Tags: Random Tuesday Thoughts