Club Half As Small As You: Month 16

January 4, 2010 11:51 am

Welcome to month 16 of Club HASAY! Not sure what HASAY is? Read all about it here.

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A Decade in the Making

I recently read somewhere that baby weight that you don’t shed within the first year usually sticks around indefinitely. I wish that I could say that was my long term problem but I was struggling before I popped out two kids. They just added an extra few layers of belly fat to an already increasing waistline. Thanks, guys. Elliot is almost twenty-one months and Graham just turned three so I fear the bulge is holding on for dear life.

Having been athletic my entire life, I always ate what I wanted and never worried about putting on weight. Growing up in a house with two older brothers, I scarfed any available sweets or soda quickly before someone else beat me to them. Once my metabolism slowed down, these two things led to my demise. I still eat like shit and scarf my food, it’s a pattern I haven’t yet been able to break. Jamie has even noticed my marathon eating and tells me to slow down and enjoy my food. Still, my plate is usually clean before he’s eaten his first few bites. Old habits are hard to break.

Although I still scarf my food and eat like shit, my eating today is also stress induced. When the kids stress me out, I eat some chocolate. When I’m trying to eat and the kids are screaming at the table, I scarf my meal as fast as I can so I can at least eat something. It’s not healthy and I want to change, but I just need to figure out how.

Let’s talk exercise or lack thereof. A few months back, I was in a great routine of hitting the gym four or five times a week. It felt great, actually, and my clothes were starting to fit again. Then the kids got sick and Graham stopped sleeping and I fell off the wagon hard. I haven’t been able to climb back on and I can honestly say that I weigh the most today that I’ve ever weighed in my entire life.

Things have got to change around here in HASAYville. I’m embarrassed to be seen in photographs, by my husband, by friends and family. I’m the only one who cares about my weight but still, it consumes every thought of every second of every day. It’s depressing. So here we are, in an entirely new decade but I’m still chugging along, fatty business as usual. I vow, again, to get off of my fat fucking ass and do something about my weight. I’ve stocked the fridge with veggies and plan to reach for the carrots instead of the cookie dough. I’m going to ease myself back into the gym and form a long lasting routine. God, that sounds like such bullshit to read but I mean it this time. I have to. Who’s with me?

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18 Comments

  1. Fantastic Forrest
    on
    1

    I’m with you, Casey! I would really like to have my picture taken without trying to hide behind things. Years ago, I read Elizabeth Takes Off, a memoir/weight loss book by Elizabeth Taylor. She commented how she would placed things in front of herself when she was photographed, kidding herself that she was disguising her weight gain.

    I’m impressed that you’ve stocked the fridge with healthy foods. That’s such an important step. You and I will have good things to report next month.

  2. Jenni
    on
    2

    I gained almost 8 lbs in the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years. I’m trying to get back on track with you, sister. I’ve lost all the baby weight, but I still have much, much to go. Lets do it!!

  3. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt
    on
    3

    I send you all my willpower (it’s not much but it might help). You can do it.

  4. Jenni
    on
    4

    Hey, Casey, lets try to be as careful about what we eat as we are about what our kids eat. That should be a good start.

  5. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    5

    I’m with you!
    Have packed the chocolate flavored rice cakes for that sweet tooth this afternoon and baked up some chicken breasts last night for chicken salad throughout the week. Let’s do this!

  6. kys
    on
    6

    I’ve joined a weight loss challenge with a group of bloggers. I’m like you in that I was over-weight before I had my kids. Now they are 9 and 7 and I’m still not where I’d like to be. Good luck to all of us!

  7. Julie From Momspective
    on
    7

    I feel ya, sister. My hormones (or lack thereof at this point)slapped another twenty pounds on my ass and I went balls out to burn that shit off. I’m kind of a psycho. It’s kind of my job to be thin so I went sick on my Wii and actually watched what I ate (I also got put on a new med that makes it so if I drink, I die, so THOSE calories are gone). I ended up losing 17 of it and think I’ll have that and then some as long as this motivation keeps on rolling, which fucking better for at least another month. Wow. I babbled. Huh.

  8. Michele
    on
    8

    I’m with you! I’ve put on 15 pounds since April. That may not sound like much but for a woman who is short, 50 and post-menopausal that’s huge.

  9. ck
    on
    9

    CASEY! CASEY! CASEY!

    I’ll be here, cheering you on.

  10. Andrea
    on
    10

    Hey by easy on yourself. When you have kids it makes it so much harder to eat right and get any regular form of exercise. It’s not an excuse, it’s fact! But you know you want to change so that is a good thing.

    It sounds hokey but have you ever kept a food journal? I know some people have good luck witht hem because not only do the write what they eat but WHEN they eat it. Is it always in the afternoon you reach for sweets or late at night or obviously during stress. I would try to find something you would be happy eating when that strikes you. You might not be a carrot person (but as an example) I love carrots and the crunch factor is very satisfying 🙂 If you can’t stand them plain try them nonfat sour cream and ranch mix. Or how about dried fruit? I love dried mango from Costco. It has a great sweetness and is healthy too.

    Either way we are all here to support you.

  11. bex
    on
    11

    i agree! a food journal is a really helpful way to see what you are really consuming. if you try to add it up in your head, there’s a self-esteem preservation hormone that will make you forget several (hundred) calories.

  12. mrsbear
    on
    12

    I just got back from the grocery store and am sitting here eating my spinach and chicken breast salad when I started reading this. I’ve been eating like crap for upwards of two months and have few excuses. Even though I didn’t do a HASAY post because I’m not keen on broadcasting yet another month of fitness failure, I am with you. I’m cutting out the junk and hopefully sticking to some exercise. Although with this morning’s 40 something temps, the tropical girl in me couldn’t bring herself to take a jog. Brr.

    You can do this! Stop soda NOW.

  13. Ginny Marie
    on
    13

    I did lose my baby-making fat, but when I quit nursing, it came back with a vengeance! I really need to do something…stat!

  14. Sandie
    on
    14

    I’m a food scarfer too. It’s a bad habit I picked up in basic training since they only gave us a few minutes to eat. It got worse after I had kids, so I really have to watch my portion sizes and that seems to help. As long as I don’t reach for the spoon and start piling seconds onto my plate, that is!

  15. Maureen@IslandRoar
    on
    15

    I will say it took me 3 years after being done having all 3 kids to feel like my body was able to get back to normal. Don’t beat yourself up; you have babies and life is insane. You can do whatever you set your mind to; even just walking helps, right?

  16. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    16

    I’m with you! And my baby fat has been hanging on for dear life for 7 years…ACK! This is going to be my year, though, I’m kicking it to the curb. 😉

    You can do it! 🙂

  17. Lin
    on
    17

    I’m with ya, pally. I’m aiming for 10, which I think is attainable. I’m off to good start today, and once a pound or two comes off, it will be easier to get motivated. Don’t be so darned hard on yourself. 🙂

  18. bex
    on
    18

    thank you for writing this post! it was so transparent and honest and i can totally relate. so thank you!!! except, i lost my baby fat – then gained it back. so its not really baby fat, is it? its just FAT.

    a trick i did last summer when i dieted was drinking two glasses of water about 15 minutes before i ate. that gave me the illusion of being full earlier.

    i too, scarf my food. and i have trouble resisting getting seconds if food tastes great. i don’t know what’s going through my mind – like i’ll never have it again? don’t get me started on hot pizza hut pizza. it should be illegal.

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