It’s time to jump back on the horse or blog or whatever the hell you call it. Yeah, I’m still alive. No swine flu or shady organ harvesting here in FL.Β  Life has been kicking my ass lately but thanks to those of you who emailed about my whereabouts. I realize that two weeks is a long time to go MIA.

I had an emergency root canal a couple of weeks ago. Jamie and I have renamed our Endodontist Dr Sexy since he’s all tan with huge muscles and shaved arms. He even gives out his cell number in case patients “need him” during off hours. Uh yeah, Dr Sexy, I’m married. In related news, my toothache-induced migraines are all gone and now we have Dr Sexy on speed dial.

At the tender age of ONE, Elliot got suspended from school. I managed to make it through my entire school career without suspension but not so for Elliot. She’s bitten three times at school this month and the third time was the teacher. Ouch. And I can’t really tell her teachers to bite her back like I do at home so I’m sure there are more suspensions in her future.

Google Reader is a hopeless cause. I haven’t touched it in days. Sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sure you guys are all interesting and witty and all that jazz and I’ll be back around soon.

Graham has decided to revisit his insomnia days and is up several times a night, screaming bloody murder. Jamie and I are walking around like zombies (not the cool kind). See above paragraph about me not doing any blogging or touching my reader.

We took Graham in for a CT scan this morning. I tried to take him last week but it didn’t work out so well without anesthesia so we went back today and had him put under. Entertaining a toddler who hasn’t eaten for 13 hours is not an easy feat. Luckily, there was a foot pedal operated sink in the hospital holding area so Graham washed his hands for close to an hour. That kid had the cleanest hands in the hospital. Then he got to ride out in a wheelchair so he thought he was hot shit.

I took Graham to a bouncy place yesterday afternoon to kill time. We were seriously there less than an hour and I can barely walk today, I’m so sore. There was a lovely swine flu having kid there who was kind enough to cough on us through every ride, over and over. I’m so thankful to his parents for deciding to bring him out in public like that.

Cleaning lady. Starting this week. Hallefuckingleujah!

I impulse painted my living room over the weekend. I saw a paint color on one of my favorite home design blogs and went for it. The problem is that I forgot to print out the picture so when I got to the store, I had to pick out the paint color from memory. So it looks nothing like that bright, beautiful green in the picture but now I’m too lazy to paint over it. Besides, it’s almost Christmas.

The other night, I caught Jamie trying to be funny for the blog. I reminded him that I hadn’t blogged in two weeks and that he didn’t need to try to feed me blog fodder to make it into a post. “Oh”, he said, and dropped the subject.

I strapped on a pair and confronted my neighbor the other night. She has super sensitive motion-detected spot lights that shine directly into Graham’s room and wake him up every time they go off. Actually, there wasn’t really a confrontation but I asked if I could readjust the lights and then brought my ladder over and pointed those fuckers toward her bedroom window instead.



  1. Captain Dumbass

    See! I knew you weren’t dead! That was a stupid rumour.

    Does Dr. Sexy look like Magnum?

  2. Captain Dumbass

    First! I love being first. Time zones are great.

  3. Captain Dumbass

    Actually, I’m first because I love you best. Well, bestest after Jamie. Everybody that follows is just a poser.

  4. jenni

    First poser!

    Welcome back, sister. Where’s all the talk of shit?

    Anyways, great random. Gald the tooth is better, sorry E got suspended (before Graham? didn’t see that coming), and hope Graham’s CT results are fine. Missed ya!

  5. Lin

    Geesh, I missed you, pally! Wow–Dr. Sexy? I like him–well, I think I do. Is it the good kinda sexy or the I-just-think-I’m-sexy which really isn’t all that good? So what do you do with your kid now that she’s booted from school? Is there a military pre-school that you can send her too? Good work on the neighbor–you missed my post on how I confronted mine about his garbage stacked against my fence. Okay–it’s still there, but I addressed the situation which is boatloads farther than Joe got just talking about it in the house.

    Glad you are back!

  6. Laufa

    Hope everyone feels better and gets some sleep soon!!!
    Dr Sexy huh, I had one of those – he was my OBGYN…my sister and Mom kept checking him out, it was so embarrassing, since I was 200lbs and 9mo. pregers. His whole office felt sorry for me, since my hubby was out to sea and I was “alone” (I was never alone, sister or Mom were always there. It was around 9/11 and they were worried I would have a breakdown.)
    LOL, adjustment to the light. Serves her right!

  7. Elle

    Glad you’re back. Cleaning lady??? Can I just say how jealous I am!! Hope Graham is okay and doesn’t catch swine flu from swine flu boy.

  8. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    I’ve missed you!!!!!! Glad you’re alive and kicking. OUCH on the emergency root canal! Good thing the dentist is Dr. Sexy to distract you from the pain. πŸ˜‰

    Like Jenni mentioned – Elliot?! I didn’t see that coming, either. I guess biting the teacher will warrant a suspension, though. And yeah, probably not a good idea to tell the teacher to bite her back – she might suspend YOU, too! πŸ™‚

    Sorry Graham’s back to his insomnia days – hope his CT scan comes back OK.

    Hope you don’t catch something from that little piggy child! πŸ˜‰

    Ohhhhh! I’m jealous! I need a cleaning lady. Although the state my house is in right now, they’d probably run screaming from the premises. πŸ™‚

    That’s what I need to do – ‘impulse paint’. Maybe then I’ll get the rooms done that I’ve been putting off. πŸ˜‰

    Heh, heh – poor Jamie – getting his funny shot down because you weren’t blogging… πŸ™‚

    I LOVE that you turned the neighbors ultra-sensitive motion sensor lights to her bedroom window. That’s how it should be. πŸ™‚

    Happy RTT – welcome back!!!!

  9. robin

    Ooooh. Emergency root canals suuuuuck. Which is better, Dr. Sexy or the rockin’ painkillers? I suppose both together would be the best option, no?
    Cool home design blog. I could use all the help I can get. On that note, can you send your cleaning lady my way when she’s done? Thanks.
    πŸ™‚ Happy Tuesday.

  10. Cat

    I guess I just figured you were busy with all the crocodiles or something. Glad to have you back. There are so many things about this post that beckon commenting, but I’m simply too lazy to address them all thoroughly, so here’s the condensed version:

    Yes, it is. Can I have it too? Future serial killer. Who isn’t? Perfect time of year. Find anything? PURELL. You lucky bitch. WOAH. Been there. Bravissimo!!

  11. A Tired Wife

    Suspended at age one! Now there’s a record!!

    Hey … next time you’re seeing Dr. Sexy .. snap a pic with your phone so we can see!

  12. WickedStepMom

    Casey’s alive!! Yay!!!!

    Sorry to hear about the emergency root canal. I had one of those a few weeks ago. I cried like a baby. My tooth does not hurt anymore though, so I am very happy about that.

    Kudos to you for redirecting the lights. Now, that is some justice!

    Maybe you should try putting Elliot in a playpen turned upside down when she bites. You can give her a sippy cup to drag across the mesh like a real prisoner…

  13. Michele

    Welcome back. We missed you. I must not have missed you enough to email because I’m an ass but now that I think of it I did wonder where the hell you were. Hope you’re felling better.

    Oh No! Graham is not sleeping again. This does not bode well. Elliot, uhhhh…I really know it’s not funny but…..suspended at one? *snicker*

  14. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Aw, your poor little biter. She’ll really kick ass one day, no doubt.
    Cleaning lady? I’m so jealous.
    Glad to have you back, hysterical as always!

  15. jen

    i need a cleaning lady.

    oh yeah … and holy … you have every right to go mia from blogging you busy girl!

  16. Andrea

    I burst out laughing when you said Elliot got suspended. Maybe I’ve been watching too much baby einstein dvds. (ya! that’s it!)

    Hope Graham is okay…at least he’s clean.

    You get a cleaning lady? Get out. You suck (send her my way k?)

    Don’t go missing for so long alright? You’re freaking me out.

  17. Kat

    For some reason when you said Dr Sexy and shaved arms I thought of “The Todd” from “Scrubs”…so not sexy

  18. peggy

    Casey Casey CASEY!!! I’ve been MIA for a looooong time! Missed ya girl!

    Elliot being suspended…sorry…hahahahahaha! A girl after her own mother’s heart. Kickin ass and chompin down!

    Congrats on the cleaning ladies…bitch! πŸ˜‰

    I’m going to seriously try and and hang out more I promise!

  19. Kendra

    I wish I had a cleaning lady. I would probably allow people to come over more often if I did!

  20. blueviolet

    I love how you redirected the motion lights!

    I would say I want a cleaning lady but I really don’t want anyone doing it better than I do. I hate being shown up.

  21. Pollyanna

    I have a chiropractor who gives out his number too, but I really have no attraction to him what so ever. You at least get a pitter patter when ever that card with Dr. Sexy’s number on it happens to be in sight.

    And in a “one up on you” moment, try entertaining a toddler in a hospital for a week. A WEEK! Staph infection in the knee, surgery & IV antibiotics – very uncool.

    Glad you’re back πŸ™‚

  22. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt

    Welcome back. Loved your randomness.
    I really want a cleaning lady. You’re lucky.

  23. Lisa

    Why is Graham having a CT scan? Is he OK? And I was starting to wonder what in the world happened to you. OK. I wondered last night because I’ve been so busy I haven’t really paid much attention to who is and isn’t posting. I’m just doing the best I can to keep up!

  24. K

    Welcome back! I hate when life kicks back.

    Hope everything calms down soon and enjoy the cleaning ladies (so jealous).

  25. Sprite's Keeper

    That last thought cinched it. THAT is why I love you and am willing to forgive you for being MIA.

  26. Sandie

    Cleaning ladies are the best! Ours started last week. It’s heavenly! πŸ™‚

    Sorry Elliott got suspended. I loved our old daycare…they didn’t suspend for biting. Suspending a child that young really does nothing but inconvenience the parents.

  27. mrsbear

    You didn’t tell me the surgeon was sexy. Me-ow. Actually the shaved arm thing creeps me out a little. So do guys that tan.

    I think your kids are trying to kill you or at least sabotage your blogging abilities. I think when they grow up you should make a habit of waking them up at 3 am every now and then just to make up for it. πŸ˜‰

    Nice random.

  28. Julie@Momspective

    I don’t feel like blogging. I’m tired. I need to sleep. I still blog but I think my work is shitty. Have you seen Miss March? Off topic, but that’s a funny fucking movie.

  29. Mad Woman

    Welcome back! I knew you weren’t dead, but was dealing with enough shit around here that I never did send you an email. I still think you’re awesome though.

    Jamie does that too? I’m constantly catching Hubby being funny just so that I have something to write about. I can’t decide if he’s just really bored or if he thinks I’m really that boring.

  30. anymommy

    Great to see you – those were some seriously good reasons to be MIA. Those bouncy places are SERIOUS work outs. I laughed out loud at that. I’ve needed calf massages to recover from jump and bounce birthday parties!

  31. beth

    Biting is the ‘gateway to what deviant behavior? I look forward to reading you again!

  32. Becky

    Oh god I’m so glad you’re back! It does sound like you’ve got a lot of shizzle going on. But praise the lord for your cleaning lady!

    The biting thing is tough. Maybe send Elliot over to the motion-detector light lady’s house? Seriously, good luck with all your stuff!

  33. Cape Cod Gal

    You have beautiful children, a hot husband, fabulous ta-ta’s and now you have a CLEANING LADY!!!!!! Can we please switch lives…just for a few days….PUH-LEEEZE!!!

    Excellent work on the lights. I would have done the same thing.

  34. Brenda

    Welcome back. You were missed. I am kind of a stalker reader – sorry I never introduced myself – I think I came across your site via babybunching months ago…

    Anyhow, my 27 month old had a few weeks like your son. Turns out her molars were coming in and driving her batty while she slept. It passed and she sleeps fine now. Hope your dilemma turns out to be something as simple!

  35. ck

    So glad to have you back!

    Your impulses are way more productive than mine. You painted a room. I made brownies. (And they’re still baking. They smell delicious!)

  36. FoN

    I wish I had Dr. Sexy. My dentist has the worse rug of all time and everytime he leans over me to work on my teeth I just CAN’T STOP STARING at the line of glue holding his hair in place.

    Glad you’re back! I’m back today too, but probably only long enough to piss people off.

  37. Cyndi

    So glad to see you again – YAY for the housekeeper πŸ™‚ Sorry to hear about the kiddies, and hope it’s just another passing phase. When will you get results from CT?

    I fell into that blog when trying to figure out how to paint our ceilings. Got an email about creative ways to use your dishwasher, including cooking a meal – thought of the ‘in kitchen’ section πŸ˜‰

    Happy week!

  38. Pseudo

    Dr Sexy huh? So glad it wasn’t the swine flu keeping you away.

    Is it wrong that a suspended one year old makes me grin?

  39. Noelle

    yay for sexy dentists! we’re still looking for my dr. sexy. my old dentist wasn’t sexy unless you consider tight polyester sexy. he would sweat profusely while examining our teeth and his breath (he wore a mask but i could still smell it through his nasal expirations) smelled like ass. first and last time there.

    btw, love your blog. maybe you should focus on expressing your true feelings, tho. ha!

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