Two weeks ago, I got a call from the director of Graham’s school. She started out by saying “this is just a courtesy call about Graham.” “Oh fuck”, I thought to myself, “what did he do now?”. It turns out that someone bit him pretty badly. I’ve never been so relieved in my life since it wasn’t my kid actually doing the biting. I think I scared the director when I was all “OH, PHEW! I’m sure he’s fine. I’ll see you in an hour at pickup.” Bitee is better than biter any day. He’s fine, BTW, but the bite took four days to heal.

Jamie picked up the kids last Friday and had to sign an incident report for Elliot. Now SHE bit someone and our biting has come around in full, tooth-shaped circle. She went on to bite me several times over the weekend so I started a “bite for a bite” policy. Yes folks, when my one year old bites me, I chomp back just as hard. I’ll let you know how that works out for me.

Graham has decided that 5am is a good time to start waking up every morning. Then we have to spend two hours begging and pleading and trying everything in our power to keep him from screaming and waking up his sister. Which he usually does. Do you think if I bite him, he’ll go back to sleep?

We’re going to see U2 on Friday night. ROCK! Here’s hoping we can stay up that late, considering our new 5am schedule.

I had never seen The Wiggles before last week. Now, the kids are addicted and I can’t not get the stupid songs stuck in my head.

We went to Babies R Us the other day and I had a shitload of leftover coupons so I walked around and handed them out to people when I saw them buying stuff that qualified. Jamie was mortified and kept telling me to stop accosting people and giving them coupons. The nerve of me, saving people money. Actually, bugging Jamie was my real motivation but I guess it’s nice that I payed it forward in the process. I’m Robin Hood, prince of creeps.

I volunteered to be the class mom for Elliot’s class. Will someone please tell me what I was thinking?

We’ve been practice trick-or-treating around here in preparation for Halloween. Now Graham asks to “play Halloween game” about 341221958 times a day. Because ONE time, while pretending, I gave the kid a lollipop.

You probably won’t get bit if you head to Keely’s place.

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32 Comments

  1. jessica
    on
    1

    my kid has been counting down to Halloween since early September. God, help me, will it please just get here already

  2. Michele
    on
    2

    Big mistake giving the kid a lollipop. Biting is tough. Biting back is an option. I went with a little Tabasco sauce. Good luck.

  3. Niky @ Design It Chic
    on
    3

    My best friend used this method of bite for bite with her 3 years old … you know what did she end up with???? both of them were all having bruises on her arms and feet.. the lil’ girl found this whole thing just simply hilarious.. so it was more like a game .. and trust me my friend bit her 3 year old really hard… then they moved this painful game to the next level… they started pulling each others hair.. it was funny to watch but they actually were really brutal.. outchy:)
    Have fun at the U2 concert!
    Happy Random

  4. Raven
    on
    4

    Gotta love the biting stage, that’s always so fun. I can’t remember how I ‘cured’ my kids of it.

    I used to hate it when my kids woke up before me, especially since they share a room and the one who woke up at 5 am always woke up the other.

    Have a great random Tuesday!

  5. Cat
    on
    5

    Amazing how you spend all this time teaching your kids not to bite, but then in later years when they start sleeping around…I mean getting married and living chastely…they’ll have to re-learn the good kind of bite.

    Or maybe not, if they move to the Bible belt.

  6. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    6

    Awww! Poor Graham! Not fun getting bitten. Did Elliot do the biting of another after her brother got bit? Maybe it was a subconscious payback to a totally unrelated person. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I did the ‘bite me, I’ll bite you back’ bit with Princess Nagger when she was in the biting stage at about 2 or 3 years old. Worked like a charm. She’s neither bit me since, nor bitten others. Now to see how the sarcastic ‘Bite Me’ stage is years later when she hits her teens. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Oooh! U2! I’ll be looking forward to the recap of that – as long as you do stay awake for it, that is… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Love that you were helping others save money and annoying your hubby… a 2-fer! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The practice Trick-or-Treat will never end… PN will collect a pile of toys and have me or hang onto them to dole out to her as she runs around and pretends to Trick-or-Treat. It gets old fast. You know, like after the first time. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Happy RTT! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Karen @ If I Could Escape
    on
    7

    My mum tells me I was a perfect child except for my biting tendencies! I used to bite my big brothers . . . until my mum bit me back! She said I never did it again — I don’t think it left me too traumatized! LOL

    U2 DO rock! I’ve seen them three times, but am giving this concert a miss. Maybe next time! Enjoy!

  8. Elle
    on
    8

    My sister Stacy bit me once on my leg so hard that it left a bruise for a week. I still haven’t totally forgiven her.

    Really, you weren’t thinking when you volunteered to be the room mother. Unpaid and the other mothers will complain no matter how good you are.

    Hope you can stay awake to see U2!

  9. Michelle
    on
    9

    I haven’t had an incident report yet, but I’m sure one is headed my way any day now…

  10. Andrea
    on
    10

    Chick had her first lollipop today. We went to the UPS store yesterday to drop off apackage and she started screaming so like any good mom I nabbed a lollipop from the bowl on the counter and shoved it at her.

    She’s been walking around doing the imitated sound of liking a lollipop ever since even though she didn’t actually like eating the thing.

    Good luck with the biting. I’m so happy my kids never had the inclination to do that.

  11. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings.com
    on
    11

    I blanked out everything else when I saw you were going to see U2. No stinkin’ fair. I live in such a rural area they are never anywhere near us! I’d love to see them in concert!

    And the biting thing…yeah….memories and sometimes he still does it!

  12. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    12

    Standing around Babies R Us and handing out coupons? You are awesome! Unless they were expired. Then it would be different.

  13. mrsbear
    on
    13

    U2?! WTH? You get to go to all the cool concerts.

    I feel for you with the 5 am wake up schedules. I’m getting up at 6 and it pisses me off.

    I think you should give the kids more sugar and candy. I think it’ll help overall. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And Robin Hood, Prince of Creeps was hilarious.

  14. Toni
    on
    14

    Thankfully my son never went through a biting stage. I’m so grateful!

    Also, those wiggles songs are awful for getting stuck in your head. Then you end up singing them all day!

    Happy Tuesday!

  15. Chef Eureka
    on
    15

    Hehehe, I hate it when someone from the school calls me about my younger daughter. I’m always thinking… crap, what now…

    ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for sharing and Happy Random Tuesday to you!

  16. jenni
    on
    16

    ahaha, love that you were intentionally embarassing your husband!

    have fun at U2! and boo to biting!

  17. Captain Dumbass
    on
    17

    I bit my kids back too and they’re fine. Sure we occasionally find a half eaten corpse in the bushes around the house now and then, but the kids are happy and healthy and that’s all that counts, right?

    The Wiggles make more than any other Australian performers, actors or musicians.

  18. Maureen@IslandRoar
    on
    18

    Oh, they are so cute! My son was a biter for a while. I found myself saying ridiculous things in his defense like “but he didn’t break the skin…” I agree, much better to be the bitee.
    I love the thought of you giving away coupons and it bugging Jamie. At my daughter’s college day opening ceremony there were all these ants under the trees where they had the parents sit. I kept brushing them off the back of the people in front of me. My ex was getting so annoyed, telling me I shouldn’t be touching people. Fun to annoy in the name of good deeds, isn’t it?

  19. Linwood's Girl
    on
    19

    When my dog was a puppy, I bit him back….worked wonders! Lucky you with the U2 tickets!!! Love them.

  20. Pseudo
    on
    20

    The biting circle cracked me up. And yay! U2! Have a great time Casey.

  21. Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
    on
    21

    There must be some kind of subliminal message that kids shows have that make you addicted to them. Great randomness!!!

  22. ck
    on
    22

    Room parent? Seriously? You were so close to being the envy of all moms-of-two-small children out there. You know, with all of your free time. But then you went ahead and volunteered. Have you learned nothing from my experiences?

  23. Cape Cod Gal
    on
    23

    I saw U2 a few weeks ago! They rocked!!! Hope you have fun!

  24. Sandie
    on
    24

    What? No poop stories this week?

    Halloween is going to be interesting around here. They do “Trunk or Treat” on base, but because some idiot scheduled a bazaar Halloween weekend, they’re doing it on the 24th of October. I’m told the town we live in does some sort of party type thing for Halloween, so I think we’re going to check that out.

  25. K
    on
    25

    My son has been waking up super early too! It’s definitely cutting into the old blog time (in addition to my sanity). I hope he starts sleeping in a bit soon.

    Good luck with the biting. So far we haven’t had to deal with that one yet, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  26. Julie@Momspective
    on
    26

    We had a kid come to my house and have a playdate. He bit EVERYONE. Jake went through a punching phase. I’m still in mine.

  27. Keely
    on
    27

    Kid bites have more germs than dog bites. Or so I hear.

    I wish there were more people willing to randomly attack me with coupons.

  28. Ginny Marie
    on
    28

    U2? You Rock!
    I had a biting episode with Emmy, and would grab her face and say sternly “No biting Mommy!” Didn’t work all that well; she just bit her sister’s head. Hey, at least she’s not biting me anymore!

  29. kyooty
    on
    29

    I totally did the trickortreat training, and then my kids didn’t want to stop going door to door. oops!

    The coupons were nice, call ir random acts of kindness?

    the biting well that just bites!

  30. Lin
    on
    30

    What’s with the biting?? Well, I guess that is better than the murdering the school kids are doing here in Chicago lately. I like your “bite ’em back” theory–I don’t remember my kids biting, but then again, I don’t remember much anymore.

    I do, however, remember Em posing like your Elliot there in the photo–totally cracked me up seeing her. Gees, I may have to trade you a cat for that kid one of these days. But then you can have her back when she is 13 or 14–when true evilness begins.

    A friend of mine went to the U2 concert and said it was good, but political. Be prepared for a few lessons on the world.

    And I like your creepiness. Tell Jamie that years ago, when I was heavy into my quilting phase, I actually confronted the folks in front of me who used an old hand-quilted beauty to sit on the beach one day. I was mortified, but my husband even more so. ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Laufa
    on
    31

    LOL! At least you have the trick-or-treating down – hopefully he doesn’t learn the tricks. I have the Wiggles on tape, I’ll send them to you. Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy, everytime we eat fruit salad.

  32. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt
    on
    32

    Keeping fingers crossed we don’t enter the biting phase.

    Enjoy U2.

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