I have E.T. toes. My second toes on both feet are freakishly long and resemble that adorable little extraterrestrial. They’re always trying to get Elliot to phone home.

I think I’m going through “the change” since I’ve been having hot flashes and my showers no longer stick.

I’ve been contemplating becoming a headband person but I’m not sure if I can pull off the look. I did a practice headband run on Saturday but it just didn’t feel right. I go through this “wanna wear a headband” phase once every few years but it never works.

Several people have recently gotten to my site by searching for “fuck you.com” and that makes me proud.

Jamie gets as excited as a kid on Christmas when the new BOGO list goes live on our grocery store’s website. I’ve mentioned this before but I just can’t stop saying BOGO. BOGOBOGOBOGO.

Four hours. That’s the amount of time Jamie and I spent on Saturday night wiping, sorting and disinfecting every fucking toy our kids own. Then we got rid of about 1/4 of their toys and you can’t even tell. What a super way to spend a Saturday night together, no?

Project Toy Clean And Purge was in response to the nasty ass stomach virus that worked it’s way though our family last week. Seriously, children and adults alike, spewing from both ends. I’ll stop there but we’re fine now, thanks. Our toys (and intestines) are squeaky clean.

So I’m going bald. Don’t laugh. Ok, laugh a little but then stop. Seriously. Apparently, a small percentage of people start losing hair several weeks after going under anesthesia and I fall into that lucky percentage. While I’m not actually bald bald, I’m losing a fuckload of hair daily and I might have to start doing the Donald Trump combover soon. Don’t worry, it’s a temporary condition and you won’t be able to laugh at me forever. At least not for that.

We had Sloppy Joe’s for dinner last night. Then I went to the gym and proceeded to regret said Sloppy Joe’s for the duration of my workout. I also had the Lunch Lady song in my head the entire time. Ah, I love Adam Sandler.

Last week at the grocery store, someone knocked a box of cereal off of the shelf as we were walking by. The thud of the cereal landing must have sounded like a fart since Graham screamed “DON’T FART, DADDY!”. He repeated this phase several times over the next two aisles. Smart kid, Daddy should not fart. Ever.

Oh Keely, you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Keely!! Hey Keely!

Tags:

37 Comments

  1. Jessica Bern
    on
    1

    good idea, cleaning those toys and very nice of you to do before giving them away. Never heard of the anesthesia/hair loss connection, damn glad it’s not permanent

  2. Zip n Tizzy
    on
    2

    Man… this boob job better pan out because it is wrecking havock!

    Do you also jump out at Eliot from the closet and make her scream?

  3. ymK
    on
    3

    Daddy should not fart, even when he’s not around kids, right? LOL
    and I’m with you for not being a headband person yet trying.

  4. ck
    on
    4

    I totally wish I could pull off the headband too, but I don’t have the nose for it.

    Would be nice, though.

  5. Blogging Mama Andrea
    on
    5

    Oh where to begin here?

    I try to do the headband thing to. Never looks right. I always feel about ten.

    BOGO is a fun word though isn’t? And sloppy joes are the greatest invention ever. (Go you for hitting the gym!)

    A kid screaming Daddy Don’t Fart is simply priceless. That’s juts too good to put value on πŸ™‚

    Happy RTT!

  6. cara
    on
    6

    Aaaand now I’m singing the sloppy joes song. Thanks, Casey. At least you have something to blame your bald on. My hair falls out like that every day & my receding hairline is really starting to thin out. Bangs are my best friend & for that reason, headbands are not.

  7. Cat
    on
    7

    I really want to wear headbands, too, but they don’t work on me, either. A) They give me a headache, and B) They emphasize my schnoz, and people are all, “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES” because it looks like it’s going to poke through your eye and into your brain.

  8. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    8

    You and I must be on the same wavelength today, I talked about headbands too.
    You wipe down your toys after the kids are sick? I just give them away.. πŸ™‚
    And where is our fearless leader, Keely? She’s a little MIA right now..

  9. Keely
    on
    9

    Are you sure it’s the ‘change’ and not just that you live in Florida??

  10. Laufa
    on
    10

    Call you Dr that gave you a boob job and ask him to give you a perscription for Pre-natal vitamins. It will thicken your hair and get the vitamin needed to help with those hot flashes. Since he/she is the one that put you under the knife and now you think you are losing your hair.
    I have monkey toes (no they are not hairy), is that similar? I can pick things up with my feet.

  11. blissfully caffeinated
    on
    11

    I love sloppy joes. And I hope your hair grows back soon. I’d leave a better comment but we’re out of coffee.

  12. The Glover Family Years
    on
    12

    I totally wish I could wear a headband! My daughter looks sooo cute in one and I look like a reject!

  13. Niky @ Design It Chic
    on
    13

    OK .. so you’re in a “i-want-to-wear-a-bandanna” phase… hmmm so am i:) i have this impression that others wear it better than i do.. but who cares.. I’ll wear it like a superstar anyway:)

    Happy Randomness!

    * fella’ RTTer here:)

  14. Julie@Momspective
    on
    14

    I LOVE BOGO. LOVE it. Especially if I have two coupons. My sister’s index toes are freakishly short. Funny. To me anyway, because I love my toes.

  15. Angel
    on
    15

    I want to wear a headband too, but I have never been able to pull it off. besides the face that I don’t think I have the face for it, but they also get in the way of my glasses, so it never works. I am glad you were able to get through the toy getting rid of as well.

  16. Swoozie
    on
    16

    I’ve always loved the word BOGO as well. It’s fun to say dammit….BOGO BOGO BOGO.

    I JUST purchased a pile of headbands….I love them fully knowing that I will NEVER wear them outside of my home. And I mean NEVER!! I love ’em but they never look right on me. WAH!

    Great RTT!

  17. robin
    on
    17

    Hey, so you haven’t said how you are feeling and all that good stuff!
    PS- The everyone-gets-it stomach virus thing totally freaks me out. I don’t manage puke very well at all… you are a total trooper when it comes to those things.

  18. Mama Badger
    on
    18

    Bogo is on the fun list. Along with Kibble, Flan and Paul Tzongas.

    You’ve disinfected just in time for swine flu! Now the little buggers have nothing to stick to. Congrats.

    Give up on the headband thing. You’ll look like that woman Kari Vincent on food network challenge. And that’s just not right…

  19. Pollyanna
    on
    19

    Do your toes glow too? Ooouuuuch.

    I hear you on the toys. My kids have so much crap. They have a playroom in the basement that they used to love to go down to. But ever since the overflow of toys moved to their rooms, they’ve decided there are too many spiders down there. I’ve seen more spiders upstairs (not very many) than I have down there.

  20. A Tired Wife
    on
    20

    Very true about the anesthesia and hair loss. I only laughed for a minute, ok?

    I had a fight with someone in a store once over BOGO. I argued that it should be BOGOF because it’s ALWAYS BOGO. If you buy one … you get one. Right? OK … so I like to pick fights sometimes.

  21. Amy War
    on
    21

    I hate the stomach flu! so sorry you got it. I have alien toes too! everyone makes fun of my toes always have. Thanks for giving the info about your hair – now I know why mine is falling out and I can relax. Yep – I feel premenopausal myself. I stink all the time! LOL!

  22. Aloha Toni!
    on
    22

    OMG, your kid is like a personal fart alarm – classic!

  23. blueviolet
    on
    23

    I’ve got the headband thing D-O-W-N, down. I’m not saying that’s a good thing; it’s just true.

    Maybe your son will keep your hubby in check by calling him out on farts. Clearly, there’s some kind of history there for him to be able to call up an immediate response like that. πŸ˜‰

  24. bex
    on
    24

    mmmmmmm ……. sloppy joes! did you have potato salad too? bc those two things are the BEST together.

    sorry to hear about your stomach viruses and your balding and your head band debacle. on the bright side, it has cooled down by 10 degrees here, so it must be a wee cooler there too!

  25. Cape Cod Gal
    on
    25

    You must have just died laughing when Graham said that. I wouldn’t have been able to contain myself.

  26. feener
    on
    26

    ok all i want is a saturday night where hubby and i toy purge, how sad is my life.

  27. Captain Dumbass
    on
    27

    If it’s like an Olivia Newton John Xanadu type headband then I say you should. Take pictures.

  28. kyooty
    on
    28

    the hair may grow back. I’m a headband wearer, I only wear them because I used to do that whole clip on the top of the hair thing from the 90s!

  29. Meli
    on
    29

    Happy Tuesday!
    According to my mother, who lives by old wives tales, having your second toe longer than your big toe means that you are going to rule the roost and your husband will have no say in anything because you will be the big, bad boss lady. Pretty cool, huh. πŸ™‚

  30. Elle
    on
    30

    Sorry about that stomach virus. That so totally sucks!

    I’ve never heard of anesthesia/hair loss connection before..that also totally sucks. Makes me think twice before I have surgery again.

    Good luck with the whole head band thing. I also try them every so often but just can’t seem to pull it off.

  31. Krystal
    on
    31

    Yeah, I go through those head band phases myself…..they don’ look too god but the Ape hates it when I wear my hair up and that is ALWAYS!!!!

    I gotta go through all the toys here, one of the boys is having a garage sale for a fundraiser at school and it would be a good way to get rid of them.

    And I have officially gone into Mama Mia rehab!! Thanks for the intervention.

  32. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt
    on
    32

    Headbands + Hair loss = Creepy

    ;0

  33. Ginny Marie
    on
    33

    So much to comment on, so little time! My husband has ET toes, and the first time I saw his bare feet they were almost deal breakers.

    Headbands just look so cute on the models in magazines, and horrible on me.

    I’ve been bald, and it sucks! I would literally dream about having hair again. Fortunately it all grew back.

  34. The Stiletto Mom
    on
    34

    Well, if you do go bald, it will make the hot flashes easier to deal with.

    And yeah, I know you prolly want to slap me for saying that. πŸ™‚ I’ve had the hot flashes for two years so far now. They suck.

  35. jenni
    on
    35

    oh, god, sorry you were all so sick. and i’m glad your son cautions against dad farts. smart boy.

  36. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    36

    OK, I’m totally going crazy…I KNOW I left a comment last Tuesday, but it’s not here! It was FUNNY, too…at least in my head it was… πŸ™‚

    You OK? Hope you’re having an awesome Labor Day Weekend! πŸ™‚

  37. cyndi
    on
    37

    HElarious! I can especially relate to the fart comment, and can totally remember losing a big patch of hair after having the boys…it’s back, sort of, so we do need to find other things to laugh at you about πŸ˜‰

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