August 31, 2009 11:36 pm
I have E.T. toes. My second toes on both feet are freakishly long and resemble that adorable little extraterrestrial. They’re always trying to get Elliot to phone home.
I think I’m going through “the change” since I’ve been having hot flashes and my showers no longer stick.
I’ve been contemplating becoming a headband person but I’m not sure if I can pull off the look. I did a practice headband run on Saturday but it just didn’t feel right. I go through this “wanna wear a headband” phase once every few years but it never works.
Several people have recently gotten to my site by searching for “fuck you.com” and that makes me proud.
Jamie gets as excited as a kid on Christmas when the new BOGO list goes live on our grocery store’s website. I’ve mentioned this before but I just can’t stop saying BOGO. BOGOBOGOBOGO.
Four hours. That’s the amount of time Jamie and I spent on Saturday night wiping, sorting and disinfecting every fucking toy our kids own. Then we got rid of about 1/4 of their toys and you can’t even tell. What a super way to spend a Saturday night together, no?
Project Toy Clean And Purge was in response to the nasty ass stomach virus that worked it’s way though our family last week. Seriously, children and adults alike, spewing from both ends. I’ll stop there but we’re fine now, thanks. Our toys (and intestines) are squeaky clean.
So I’m going bald. Don’t laugh. Ok, laugh a little but then stop. Seriously. Apparently, a small percentage of people start losing hair several weeks after going under anesthesia and I fall into that lucky percentage. While I’m not actually bald bald, I’m losing a fuckload of hair daily and I might have to start doing the Donald Trump combover soon. Don’t worry, it’s a temporary condition and you won’t be able to laugh at me forever. At least not for that.
We had Sloppy Joe’s for dinner last night. Then I went to the gym and proceeded to regret said Sloppy Joe’s for the duration of my workout. I also had the Lunch Lady song in my head the entire time. Ah, I love Adam Sandler.
Last week at the grocery store, someone knocked a box of cereal off of the shelf as we were walking by. The thud of the cereal landing must have sounded like a fart since Graham screamed “DON’T FART, DADDY!”. He repeated this phase several times over the next two aisles. Smart kid, Daddy should not fart. Ever.
Tags: Random Tuesday Thoughts