August 7, 2009 12:01 am
This week’s Spin Cycle Topic was to repost one of your old faves. I chose to share my first ever Spin Cycle entry, the topic was: Impressions.
I never got a chance to meet my mother-in-law. My kids will never get to know their Grandma. She died suddenly in April of 1999, four years before I fell in love with her son. Jamie was twenty-six at the time, he was living here in FL and his mom was back home in PA. They were very close and I know it really shattered Jamie to lose his mom.
When we first started dating, I used to ask Jamie all sorts of questions about his mother. What made her laugh? What music did she like, what did they have in common? Do you remember what her voice sounded like? Up until that point, I had never known anyone who had lost a parent. I secretly wondered if she would have liked me and approved of me for her son. I’ll never know the answer to that question, but since Jamie and I make each other completely happy, I’m hoping yes. Jamie was patient with me and answered all of my questions, but he’s a guy…. his details were lacking. If you don’t know what I mean, watch any guy you know have a thirty minute phone conversation and then ask them what they talked about. “I dunno, just stuff.” There are never enough details to satisfy.
On our wedding day, I longed for Jamie’s mom to be there. It hurt me that it hurt him not having her there on one of the happiest days of his life. When we had our children, it was even harder. Here are these two incredible beings that we brought into the world and Jamie will never get to share that joy with his mom. I often think about ways to keep her memory alive for our kids. I put up her picture in their rooms. I show Graham pictures of his Grandma and tell him who she is. When the kids are older, we’ll make sure we tell them all about her.
Jamie is such an awesome person, he loves us with everything he has. We share inside jokes and make each other laugh. He puts me down for a nap with the kids when he thinks I look worn out. He cooks and cleans and does at least fifty percent of the parenting, something a lot of guys don’t. He grocery shops, he dances with Graham, he’s super silly and fun and smart and everything I could ever ask for. He encouraged me to start this blog and gets just as excited as I do when a stranger comments for the first time. It pisses me off that someone so great has to go through life without his mom and that his wife and kids will never get to know her.
I’ve recently come to realize that I do know her though. I know her through Jamie and his actions. I see what an amazing father and awesome person he is and know that it’s all because of her. I know that she used to watch Star Trek with Jamie and she listened to Alanis Morisette. I know that she loved her kids so much and that she single-handedly produced the most awesome human being I’ve ever known. So, although I never got to meet her, the woman has left quite an impression on me. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Tags: Spin Cycle