August 17, 2009 10:57 pm
I impulse bought two trees online last weekend. Most people spend their Saturday nights out on the town or at the very least, watching a movie at home but not me. I was online reading reviews about fast growing trees to save me from having to move my huge-assed swing set to the shaded part of the yard. We haven’t used that fucking swing set in three months since my kids turn purple ten minutes into playing outside in the Florida heat.
I think I might fucking swear too much. I came to this realization when I went to yell at some asshole in traffic yesterday with Graham in the backseat. The guy pulled across traffic, causing me to slam on my brakes and I yelled “you stupid…” and realized that my little parrot was in the backseat. At that moment, I noticed that the driver was wearing a bow-tie and I finished the sentence with “bow-tie” instead. From here on out, bow-tie will replace all other swears in my vocabulary. We’ll see how long that fucking lasts.
Dear Twilight: I hate you. I have not read you or seen your stupid-assed movies and I won’t, on principle. I’m sick of you hogging up space on the gossip sites I read and I’m sick of reading about you in the blogosphere. I’m not sure why I’m so opposed to Twilight but please don’t try to change my mind. I mean it.
My closet tried to kill me last week. I was angrily trying on clothes and decided to remove the questionably fitting stuff from the rotation. I tossed each non-fitting garment on the top shelf to make me forget that I need to lose weight. About ten minutes into it, the entire shelf collapsed as I dove out of the way to narrowly escape sudden death. At least I got in some exercise.
Our dog usually hides from the chaos but has recently started spending his time staring intently at Jamie or me. It’s eerie, like one of those seizure dogs who just “knows” that something is amiss and must warn us in advance. Either one of us is dying or he wants a Scooby Snack.
Am I the only one who wants to punch the kid from the Olive Garden commercial in the face?
I’ve been receiving emails from this guy Martin for about six months now. They’re not spam, he’s a legitimate guy in Tampa who thinks I’m a different Casey. I fear that I’ve let it go on for too long to turn back. It’s like getting a letter in your mailbox that isn’t yours and opening it.
So I felt like a rock star last week when I hosted Keely’s RTT. Then I tried to visit all of the people who linked up. Holy fuckoli, Batman, there were a lot of damn people on that list. I don’t know how Keely does it every week and still has a life.
Jamie pooped in our bathroom the other night and then tried to convince me that it didn’t smell when I complained that I couldn’t go in there to brush my teeth. Then he tried tell me it smelled like the pot roast we’d eaten for dinner like that would make me want to vomit less if I inhaled his poop particles.
Go see Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeely. That is all.
Tags: Random Tuesday Thoughts