August 3, 2009 12:01 am
Welcome to month 11 of Club HASAY! Not sure what HASAY is? Read all about it here. If you’re wondering where HASAY has been, we decided to switch to only posting on the first Monday of each month.
Back That Ass Up
During my last HASAY update, things were looking up. I had finally settled into my routine of hitting the gym a few times a week and even gave up my coveted daily Checkers soda. Then on July 17th, I underwent my reverse boob job. You would think I’d have great news to report since the doctors physically cut off part of my body but alas, no.
My boobs have gotten smaller but my ass has gotten bigger.
The doctor’s orders were to rest and not to do any heavy lifting. I’m not allowed to lift my kids or exercise for six weeks. I spent the first week post op rigidly following those instructions. I laid in bed like a beached whale, only retreating from my room when the kids were contained in their high chairs so they couldn’t attack me. That sounds drastic but with a one and a two year old, being climbed/kneed in the boobs/pounced on are all fair game in my house.
Laying in bed all day with nothing else to do will cause a person to eat her ass off. Although not literally.
It’s been a little over two weeks and I’m gradually easing my way back into life. I’ve been lifting Elliot and only attempt to lift Graham when it’s absolutely necessary and I don’t have backup. I can honestly say that I miss going to the gym but I have four more weeks of taking it easy. So here I am, “taking it easy”. If one more fucking person tells me to “take it easy”, they might get punched in the throat/boob/balls. Next month’s post will arrive right around the time I get the all clear from the doctor so I plan to hit the gym with a vengeance. I have to to level off this huge ass before it gets it’s own zip code.
Please take a minute to motivate the other HASAY participants. Use ridicule if you have to.