July 3, 2009 12:01 am
I married Jamie when I was twenty-eight. The second our “I do’s” were exchanged, I did the whole Marissa Tomei “my biological clock is ticking” thing. I was determined to pop out at least one kid before I hit thirty. Jamie wanted kids too so he happily obliged. We managed to squeak in under the wire and even had two months to spare. Elliot was born a short sixteen months after Graham and our family was complete.
Growing up, I always thought that I wanted three kids. That was before I had two kids of my own. Graham and Elliot are amazing and smart and every other mushy adjective you can think of but they’re also kicking our parental asses on a daily basis. One more kid might send us both to the loony bin. As peaceful as a trip to the loony bin sounds, it’s so not going to happen.
I may convincingly put on a tough guy act but when it comes to my kids, it’s a different story. These kids are able to bring out emotions in me that I didn’t think possible. Last month Graham’s teacher invited us to sit in on their final circle time of the year. I had tears welling up in my eyes while I proudly watched Graham dance and sing along to every single song. It was the cutest thing ever. Watching Elliot’s unbridled joy over something as simple as a picture of Elmo makes my heart swell too.
It’s true that I am a drill sergeant about scheduling and discipline, but we also have fun. We play and sing and dance and do all sorts of fun things together and I love it. Most days. There are also those days where I want to beat my head against a wall or sell my kids on Ebay. Luckily, the good days outweigh the bad by far so I won’t sell my kids just yet. I’m always amazed by those moms who seem to keep it all together and pretend that everything is always shiny and magical. That’s just not possible and I don’t pretend that it is.
I’m glad that we waited to have kids until I was a little older. My twenty year old self wouldn’t have been able to do it. People always stop me and ask what it’s like to have kids so close together. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s terrible. The kids are both so young and they fight over everything. I sometimes regret not waiting a little longer before getting pregnant for the second time. But then I look at sweet little Elliot and think that if we had waited, she wouldn’t be here right now. She’s perfect and so is Graham so it all worked out in the end.
Tags: Spin Cycle