Spin Cycle: Take Me On

June 19, 2009 12:01 am

The year was 1985 and it was mid-morning on a Saturday. My brothers and I had just finished watching our usual Saturday morning cartoons along with my brother’s friend Demitri who had spent the night. I could hear my mom in the kitchen talking on the phone. A minute later, I heard her crying.

My brother changed the channel to MTV. It was old school MTV, back when they used to actually show music videos and A-Ha’s “Take On Me” was playing. Demitri came back from the kitchen and stood next to the TV. He looked at me and said “your cousin’s dead, somebody murdered him.” He laughed and then sat down in front of the TV. Demitri was a heartless asshole who got pleasure out of things like that.

I was eight at the time but I knew what murder meant. I remember staring at the A-Ha video and trying to make sense of it all. I later found out that my cousin Scott was killed by his girlfriend’s ex husband. Scott was living with his girlfriend and her young daughter and the ex husband stabbed him to death in front of them. He was only twenty-three.

My mom flew to Illinois to be with my aunt and attend the funeral. I remember her being really sad for a long time after that. I was pretty confused and sad too, I didn’t understand why someone would want to kill my cousin. I only have a couple of memories of him but I remember a family trip to the beach where I followed him constantly. I remember his huge smile and willingness to play with his pesky little cousin.

It’s been twenty four years since Scott was killed but I still remember it like it was yesterday. Every time that A-Ha song comes on the radio, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach and it brings me back to that day in my parent’s living room. I think about the life that Scott missed out on and all of the people whose lives were forever altered because of the senseless murder. I recently googled the court case and found out that the murdering asshole’s case went all the way to the Supreme Court. It got overturned based on a technicality and the guy got away with murder.

Today’s story was part of this week’s Spin Cycle topic of memories.



  1. Zip n Tizzy

    What a heartbreaking story.
    For everyone involved.
    So sorry.

  2. FoN

    That is brutal. I’m so sorry. The guy who killed him is out now? That’s even worse.

    FoNs last blog post..FoN and Superkeely vs. the Fucktard Sisters – Part II

  3. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Oh that’s terrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that – especially being so young at the time. And the murderer’s case being overturned and him getting away with murder is so wrong on so many levels. Ugh!

    Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)s last blog post..Mother Nature is still at it…

  4. K

    I had a cousin murdered when I was in junior high. A robbery gone bad. It was a very confusing time.

    Ks last blog post..Dear Baby

  5. Deemarie

    I have a song that takes me back to when I was 7, at my Grandma’s funeral. I have no idea if it was playing at the funeral home or in the car, but when I hear it, I’m immediately there. It’s surreal, sad, and rough reliving it. I’m so sorry for you and your cousin’s family. I can’t imagine that is something anyone can ever really recover from.

    Deemaries last blog post..Vacation and Memories

  6. Lisa (Jonny's Mommy)

    It is amazing how songs can bring back memories so strong like that. What a horrible, hard memory to have though. I remember something similar with my mom, but it wasn’t a murder or a family member — it was a man who was like a family member and died in a plane crash. I was probably around the same age as you were when our friend died. It’s something you never, ever forget.

    I’m sorry the butthole got away with murder. It isn’t right or fair at all.

    Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy)s last blog post..A story of a Teddy Bear

  7. Sprite's Keeper

    Oh, man, that IS awful. And for Demetri to make light of it, I hope he got what was coming to HIM. You’re linked.

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Spin Cycle: "Do you remember?"

  8. Cat

    What a terrible way for The Universe to ruin a really mediocre 80s tune for the rest of your life. I’m so sorry about your cousin! I just can’t imagine losing any of mine.

    Cats last blog post..Fungus Amongus

  9. robin

    Oh, how awful. So sorry to hear about this… the sentencing is just horrific on top of it. 🙁

    robins last blog post..The Handmade’s Tale: Daphne M

  10. Michele renee

    I’m typing thru tears and I am so sorry about this pain.

  11. Sam

    I am so, so sorry about your cousin. I can’t believe that they guy who did this got away with it.

    Sams last blog post..Kentucky Ink

  12. GiGi @ Incrementum

    I’m sorry. Reading this breaks my heart. My friend’s father was murdered. His killer did three years. This same friend’s brother was arrested for possession of drugs. He’s doing seven years. Sometimes the justice system doesnt make any sense.

    I spun too.

    GiGi @ Incrementums last blog post..FINALLY

  13. Shangrila

    Oh, SUCK. I’m so sorry, especially to hear that the murdering bastard wasn’t locked up for life. I had an older cousin that was patient with us younger kids, and my heart just clutched while reading your story. Sending love to you and yours. 🙁

    Shangrilas last blog post..Spin Cycle: That One Time…

  14. Kendra

    Losing a loved one is always hard…hopefully other music helps you get through it.

  15. mrsbear

    Casey, that’s terrible. No matter how old you are, how do you make sense of something like that? And that the killer is just out there living his life makes it that much worse. I’m so sorry.

    mrsbears last blog post..Deity in Lavender – FFF

  16. Pseudo

    The story is heartbreaking and even more so because he got away with it. Unbeleivable. What became of asshat Demetri?

    Pseudos last blog post..Spin Cycle: Honeyman State Park, 1970

  17. steenky bee

    Ah…this was just gut wrenching. I’m so sorry for your loss. Ugh. This was truly sad to read. Isn’t it odd the memories that get etched in our minds. Before I reached the end of your story, I knew that the A-Ha video/song would be a painful and odd reminder for you.

    steenky bees last blog post..Young Love…No, Really, Really Young Love.

  18. Keely

    Ugh. I can’t believe he got away with it. I’m so, so sorry. What a terrible memory to associate with that dorky song.

    Keelys last blog post..I remember when "Are you dissin’ my man?" was something people actually SAID. Well, okay, no, just this one girl. (Part 2)

  19. Lin

    Gees, Casey–that is just terrible. And I’m sorry that you had to experience such an awful thing when you were so young.

    Lins last blog post..So Happy Together

  20. jessica

    That is so horrific. Sometimes the justice system rally does make me question how “just” it really is

  21. cyndi

    So sad. And tragic, the loss and the lack of justice. I never liked that song, but now I’ll think kind thoughts of Scott and all the other older cousins who are kind to their pesky little cousins (I have one who’s still my go-to champion and wish Scott could be here for you). Love ya! HFD to Jamie ~

    cyndis last blog post..Pink it’s like red but not quite

  22. Kyooty

    Oh my, what a tragic memory. I’m so sorry that this guy got off. 🙁 I do hope he spends his life in misery and with the memory etched in his own mind as to what he did.

    Kyootys last blog post..VGNO! Sleeping in!

  23. Stesha

    Somtimes I just want to slap the hell out of the justice system. It has too many flaws.

    Hugs and Mocha,

  24. Sugar Jones

    It’s so crazy how songs have a way of bringing us back to the exact moment and feelings of a memory like that. I’m so sorry to hear that the murdering bastard is free while your cousin isn’t here to have the sunlight on his face. And that Demitri? Sounds like an idiot. Wonder how he turned out.

    Sugar Joness last blog post..The Dish on Food, Inc.

  25. Laufa

    Wow, makes you want to become a lawyer, just because of the heartbreak. (Too bad I have a terrible memory.)

    Laufas last blog post..Spin: Back in the Day…

  26. zelzee

    Isn’t it funny how particular songs can bring back memories….good and bad.

    It had to be hard at 8 years old to try and understand it all….
    Awful that he got away with it!! So unfair.

    zelzees last blog post..Summer Vacation

  27. Gretchen

    The other day I thought that I should try making homemade onion rings, but something about the idea of it kind of freaked me out. I suddenly remembered that I had made onion rings only once in my life. I was 12, and had one of those books of recipes for young people. I had made the onion rings, and my parents got a call that one of my best friends and constant playmate since birth, Brent, had been killed in a hunting accident. I don’t think we ever ate the onion rings. I never made them again.

    Gretchens last blog post..Camp Mama Week Two: Bookie Boy

  28. Amber

    Yuck. That whole freakin’ story sucks. If it makes you feel better my cousin is in prison for the murder he committed. Sometimes, they get punished for it. And that sucks, too.

    Ambers last blog post..A List

  29. anymommy

    That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I have to admit I was hoping for a ‘and the asshole ex has been in prison ever since.’ I suppose that wouldn’t bring your cousin back, but it would feel better.

    anymommys last blog post..You Might Be 38 Weeks Pregnant When…

  30. Julie@Momspective

    Dude. I totally get you. I was 8 in July of 1985 when a drunk driver killed my step father just 3 weeks after my mom married him. I went through the EXACT same thing. Same age, same year and all. That’s pretty fucked up right there. I’m super sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for both of ours. I love the shit out of you.

    Julie@Momspectives last blog post..Are You Kidding Me? I’m Terrified.

  31. bex

    i kept hoping the story would end with demitri thought it was a funny joke but he was an ass and it never really happened. so sorry for your loss.

    bexs last blog post..RTT: Belated HASAY and random movie thoughts and more

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