Go see Keely. That chick KNOWS random.

I hate ordering pizza with other people since we always negotiate toppings beforehand and then someone deviates from the topping assignment and takes one of my slices. You wanted pepperoni? Eat pepperoni. Or face the wrath of Casey. The wrath of Casey basically means that I will secretly curse your name and never actually confront you for taking my pizza.

The same thing goes for appetizers. There’s nothing worse than having someone take one of your three coveted cheese sticks after they previously said they didn’t want any.

Over the weekend, I used the blower to clean off the patio. My shirt smelled like gasoline for the rest of the night and it was nice. I love that smell.

In preparation for our Memorial Day cookout, I shoveled shit from the yard (again). A little while later, I noticed a big brown patch of dried shit on the bottom of my foot. Who’s the shitheel now?

We bought 30 cupcakes for our BBQ and only about 10 people ate them. Let’s do the cupcake math: that’s a fuckload of cupcakes left for us. Jamie and I each had a few but then I was tapped out and left half of my third one. Jamie told me how disappointed he was in me and that he just couldn’t understand the logic behind abandoning a cupcake. We’re trying to work through the cupcake failure to salvage our marriage.

We watched our last recorded episode of Heroes tonight. Phew. The show has been on our chopping block forever and we finally made the decision to cut it from the lineup entirely. Not only did the show disappoint but it’s hard to bloggety blog when Hiro is talking and I have to read subtitles.

We got a new sandbox and Elliot likes to sample the product. She drank about three cups of sand yesterday without even batting an eye.

I love having a clean house but mine never is. I think if I entertained more, my house would be cleaner and my mood would be more upbeat. I’m forced to clean the entire house from top to bottom any time we have company so that nobody sees how disgusting the house usually is.

Graham woke up bright an early yesterday. I took him to get some breakfast and keep him quiet and then we went for a short drive. When I cut through a parking lot, there was a man squatting, taking a shit. Yes, I was subjected to a man shitting at 7AM and I’m not even married to him.

Don’t forget to go see Keely. She’s smelling good these days, like the fresh scent of Febreze.

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42 Comments

  1. Pseudo
    on
    1

    Well the solution to the pizza delimma is to order and eat your own entire pizza. I make sure mine has anchovies, then only Mr. Pseudo would want any.

  2. Kyooty
    on
    2

    I’d be shocked to see agrown man having a dump in the middle of a parking lot! See where are the law enforcement when this is happening?

    the sandbox looks fun,the boy have our “crop circle”, Hubbie bought another 1000 lbs of sand for it this year? I do wonder where last years 1000lbs went? you know?

    Kyootys last blog post..Random Tuesday, a little bit of this a little moreof that

  3. K
    on
    3

    We had a cookout too.

    Hope you had fun.

    My little man also eats sand on occasion. I don’t get it. One bit and you’d think that would be plently.

    Ks last blog post..Rambling Random Thoughts Tuesday

  4. WickedStepMom
    on
    4

    Florida is a scary place. That is why it has it’s own tag on Fark. (www.fark.com)

    Also, perhaps Elliot thought she needed more sand in her diet. You can never have enough sand.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Wait, itโ€™s Tuesday already?

  5. Cat
    on
    5

    I’m amazed at your restraint. I would have “squeezed” an entire post out of just the man taking a dump in the parking lot.

    Cats last blog post..Tastes Like Teen Spirit

  6. Harriet
    on
    6

    I’d be mad too if someone took one of my pepperoni slices!
    Clean is in the eyes of the beholder….

  7. mrsbear
    on
    7

    You’re such a pizza Nazi. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I always get shafted on the toppings since I’m too busy getting all the kids set up with their food before someone sneaks away with all my slices. But they’ll rue the day…

    I don’t think I could eat three cupcakes just thinking about it makes me gag a little.

    Our sandbox is also a huge thorn in my ass…Max used to eat the sand, now he just makes sure he tosses it straight up in the air so it gets nice and deep in his scalp. Have you ever scrubbed sand out of a kid’s head? You will…

    mrsbears last blog post..What Terror Awaits and Random Tuesday Thoughts

  8. robin
    on
    8

    Next time someone effs with your pizza or apps, sic the parking lot pooper on them!
    (And, seriously, who DOES that? I mean there’s always a bathroom SOMEWHERE!)

    robins last blog post..Musical Monday: A Memorial Play

  9. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    9

    You ABDANDONED a cupcake? Jamie’s right! I’m appalled!

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..RTT: Today is technically my Monday, so I’m not as jazzed about Tuesday. So Tuesday, er, yay.

  10. Keely
    on
    10

    You abandoned a cupcake? I’m not sure a marriage can survive that, dude.

    Keelys last blog post..Another juicy itchy collection of Random Tuesday Thoughts

  11. jenni
    on
    11

    a grow man taking a crap? seriously, casey, shit actually hunts you down.

    jennis last blog post..RTT: The T.V. Edition

  12. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    12

    Thanks for reminding me I still need to buy sand for the ladybug sandbox Santa brought the Princess Nagger for Christmas – wonder if I can pretend to forget? At least she’s past the age of eating the sand, but then again… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I hear ya on the pizza topping (and appetizer) infringement…my ‘wrath’ is very similar to yours… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My house would be spotless if I entertained more, too – it’s always 1 step forward 2 steps back when thwarted by the messes that hubby and PN make constantly. I give up trying to keep up unless we’re having company over… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for giving me a mental image I’m not going to be able to get out of my head today… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)s last blog post..Babbling Random Tuesday Thoughts

  13. Ginny Marie
    on
    13

    From reading your post and other people’s comments, I now know that my kid is not the only kid who eats sand! PHEW! I set up the sand and water table in our backyard last week, and Emmy shovels the sand in her mouth…literally. You’d think she wouldn’t like the taste, but that doesn’t deter her at all.

    Ginny Maries last blog post..Remember

  14. bex
    on
    14

    pizza? cupcakes? what’s going on here? am i at the right blog? we had cupcakes yesterday too! but we bought a half dozen from a fancy bakery that sells them for like a gazillion dollars a piece.

    it barely whet my appetite for cupcakes, so i’ll be over sometime to eat yours. once i get clearance from hubs to drive across the nation to the house of a lady i met on the internet to eat cupcakes with her.

    bexs last blog post..Assorted miscellaneous and other things of (non) interest

  15. Kat
    on
    15

    If cupcakes are left at our house after an event they have a maximum 3 days to be completely eaten..otherwise they get chucked into the bin, much to my daughters horror.

    Kats last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts- My Heathen Kids

  16. Tiaras & Tantrums
    on
    16

    I hate it when my hubs smells like gasoline! I refuse to let him sit on anything

    Tiaras & Tantrumss last blog post..Random Tuesday Tantrums

  17. Julie@Momspective
    on
    17

    We cut Hero’s after the 2nd season for the same reason. I’m pissed that Reaper didn’t get renewed, but such is the CW. I was a total Wii Mommies let down this weekend. No cupcakes for me, but I had Denny’s AND Friendly’s and pushed my portion control limits.

    Julie@Momspectives last blog post..Bloody Noses, Friendlyโ€™s and Thanks, Xanex-Random Tuesday Thoughts

  18. ck
    on
    18

    If it gets too hard to salvage your marriage in the next day or so, feel free to mail the remaining cupcakes to me. I’ll make sure they get a good home.

    cks last blog post..running out of time

  19. Leslie
    on
    19

    I now have a seriously NASTY mental image stuck in my head.

    And you can just pass your left over cupcakes to me – I’ll make short work of them for ya!

    Leslies last blog post..Short and Sweet

  20. Michelle
    on
    20

    EEEEWWWW!!!
    I need the brain bleach for that image…

    Michelles last blog post..I WON!

  21. Sammanthia
    on
    21

    I gave up on Heroes halfway through the last season. I just don’t have the patience for that kind of storyline.
    Can I have a cupcake?

    Sammanthias last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Apparently The Coal Miner’s Daughter Was Sort Of A Slut

  22. Peggy
    on
    22

    I’m a tomato and garlic pizza girl…so no topping issues.

    My house is disgusting too, we have kids and dogs and unless you’re a chronic cleaner…it just tends to get really bad really quickly.

    I won’t even bother to address the public shitter. wtf?

    Peggys last blog post..The secret word is "nice"

  23. GreenJello
    on
    23

    Maybe it’s time for me to invite some company over so my house gets cleaned…

    GreenJellos last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  24. Sheila
    on
    24

    I LOVE the smell of gas. When I was little, I used to tell my parents that I wanted to own a gas station because of the smell…they were worried.
    I can live without cupcakes but the smell of gas….NEVER!

  25. cyndi
    on
    25

    LOL! Do you watch Rules Of Engagement? The married guy is a complete riot most days, and he shares your food ordering/sharing issues in a recent episode….it would be a good substitute for Heroes’ slot, if I can’t convince you to try Chelsea ๐Ÿ˜‰ Happy week!

    cyndis last blog post..Blossom, smile some sunshine down my way

  26. Becky
    on
    26

    “and I’m not even married to him.” HA HA! OMG, that sounds like the kind of sight I was subjected to in Santa Cruz, regularly. Sorry you had to see that!

    And I can’t believe you had leftover cupcakes. That does not compute! I would have eaten at least two.

    Beckys last blog post..Jelly Wars

  27. angie
    on
    27

    oh man gasoline smell gives me a headache not for sure but do you remember the scratch and sniff stickers? They had a food, chocolate and smells like gasoline guess which ones I always wanted

  28. CDB
    on
    28

    Dude.. where do you live that a man was pooping in a parking lot? And yet again, you did it!! You managed to fit poop (twice!) into the post! I’m starting to think SOMEone has a fetish..

    Mm.. cupcakes sound good. Had a mini-cupcake at a meeting tonight, but you know what? Homemade is just so much better.

    You know what else? I’m hurt. I have a “thumbs UP” statue in my guest room end table.. but no love on your blog roll.
    *cries silently*

    CDBs last blog post..RTT: Rushed, and Terribly Tardy

  29. Sandie
    on
    29

    I think the food theives are just trying to help you in your HASAY quest. If they eat your food, you can’t. See? They’re not taking your food. They’re trying to help you succeed in your weight loss.

    Sandies last blog post..Itโ€™s a Monday-Tuesday!

  30. anymommy
    on
    30

    That is just wrong. And it goes to show that children should sleep until at least seven. Bad things happen in the fives and sixes.

    anymommys last blog post..Cusp

  31. Lin
    on
    31

    Many years ago I witnessed a guy taking a whiz in the Walmart parking lot and from that day forward, I never step into a puddle in that parking lot ever. I cannot imagine seeing someone taking a dump–I think that would scar me for life. And who has to clean that up in the parking lot???

    Oh, my kid ate boat-loads of sand too–it just turns into gritty shitty.

    Lins last blog post..Hoopty

  32. Cape Cod Gal
    on
    32

    I would never stand for someone taking my cheese sticks. War. It would mean war….and possibly never forgiving them as long as they lived.

    Cape Cod Gals last blog post..Random Tuesday – Worm Shit, Urinals, & B.O.

  33. Lisa (Jonny's Mommy)
    on
    33

    Sorry I always comment so late on your blog. I read it at work most of the time but my work computer hates your blog and it takes me forever to type a comment. Then, sometimes, I’ll finish the comment (20 mins after I started, quickly switching to my work when the boss walks by) and something resets and I lose everything I painstakingly typed. And it was all brilliant stuff of course….now, where was I?

    Oh right! Sandbox..exactly why I never got Jonathan one. I was sure he’d eat the sand. But this year I actually do want to get him one. He’s moved on to inhaling air freshner apparently. Starting early on the huffing thing? I hope not!

    And I agree with the suggestions on getting your own pizza. I’ve learned I have to do that if I want to get what I ordered!

    Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy)s last blog post..Squirrel Watch: The squirrel is stuck in my attic! (with photos)

  34. Captain Dumbass
    on
    34

    I love Hiro. I wish he could be my conscious, nattering away in sing songy English, and then when he started telling me things I didn’t want to hear I’d switch his voice to Japanese which I don’t understand and then he’d get all angry and start swearing at me and talking really fast the way people do when they’re angry but I’d just laugh and say, “sorry, Hiro, I can’t understand you and keep stabbing that bad man who drives down my street too fast when my boys are playing in the front yard.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Random Tuesday: Allergy Edition

  35. Julie@Momspective
    on
    35

    Oh, I also wanted to say I was just talking about food snatching (he he, ‘snatch’) with Ry and I swear if anyone ever tries to take another fry off my plate I’ll break a pinky. I’m starting to swear again on my site. Feels good. Moved all the Wii Mommies stuff to it’s own domain so I feel I can drop F bombs again.

    Julie@Momspectives last blog post..Wordless Wednesday-He Wonโ€™t Get Away This Time

  36. Lydia @ On The Verge
    on
    36

    Man! They do the pizza thing to me in my house too! There are four of us that get to choose toppings and swear the rest always eat what I choose!

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..Parking Lot Karma

  37. Christy
    on
    37

    Okay, two things I can’t believe here:
    1) You left cupcakes uneaten…seriously? I could NOT have done that! You’re willpower is astonishing. And no, I am NOT calling you fat by saying you couldn’t leave cupcakes uneaten…I’m simply relating that back to myself which is what I do with all things.

    2) Someone was taking a dump outside… in FRONT of you? Seriously? That’s just disgusting! I would’ve lost my lunch…er…breakfast. Yuck!

    Christys last blog post..Remembering My Dad

  38. Andrea
    on
    38

    I HATE when people snag my pizza. HATE IT. But then again they are usually a kindred spirit too. Not everyone likes pepperoni and black olive pizza.

    Andreas last blog post..Sign Language Wednesday: Barbie

  39. Shangrila
    on
    39

    I am woefully behind on Heroes, but from my hubby’s updates, I’m thinking it’s no great loss! WTH-see what happens when there’s no cold weather? Not only huge bugs, but adults using the great (parkinglot?!) outdoors as a bathroom-crazy! C’mon over-we’ll play in the mud and then order pizza (I promise not to eat a slice of yours, lol!) Hope you and Jamie can work it out- I’m gonna be using the phrase, “Let’s do the cupcake math” a lot now!

    Shangrilas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Fun With Mud

  40. The Stiletto Mom
    on
    40

    A long time ago when I worked in radio, I had a remote at a car dealership. The same crazy woman showed up every week with her crazy son and stole all the food. I thought I had made it through the entire thing without her showing up when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She was making her way towards us, stopped, hiked up her skirt, SAT ON THE BUMPER of one of the shiny cars for sale, and took the worlds longest pee. The owner of the dealership was standing right next to me. It was one of the less awesome moments of my advertising career.

  41. Jessica Bern
    on
    41

    Ugh!!!! to the last line. As for the cupcakes,I toss them, it takes everything I’ve got to do it but otherwise I would not stop at two and a half

  42. Katie
    on
    42

    We’re heading to the beach tommorow…how did that sand episode turn out?

    Katies last blog post..I Kiss the Hand that Smacks Me

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