Blah blah blah, Keely is God, blah blah blah blah. Go see her and find out for yourself.

Last week Jamie made pirogis. Being the great helper that he is, Graham was underfoot the entire time peering over the stove to see what we were making. After much anticipation, he politely requested (demanded) that he have some “boobies”. His pronunciation could use some work and after one bite, he spit it out and declared his dislike for them. Apparently he’s not a boob man.

Jamie’s grandparents are pushing ninety and are still spry and hilarious. His grandpa likes to email jokes to me but it sometimes creeps me out.

I have witnessed several people chucking cigarette butts and trash out of their rides lately. I wonder who they think is responsible for cleaning up their shit? On a related note, my one year old likes to pick up cigarette butts and eat them if I don’t catch her in time. Don’t be surprised if you hear about me throwing shit back into someone’s car and getting shot in the process.

We took a family trip to the aquarium on Sunday. Actually, we just went a mile up the road to Petco but the kids didn’t know the difference. They got to see Nemo and we killed half an hour so everyone was happy.

My parents bought us a bike trailer for Xmas. It only has one lap belt for both kids so we have to pull it extra tight in order to secure them. This leads to screeching, hitting and kicking before we even get out of the driveway.We haven’t actually experienced any joy from the fucking thing but we keep trying.

Graham is terrified of Map from Dora the Explorer. He loves Dora books but we tried showing him the cartoon and he FREAKED when map came on the screen. The other day Jamie let me sleep in but Graham was so hysterical over map that I hopped up out of bed and sprinted to the living room to see if he was ok. It’s sad, really. How is he going to find his way through life without a map?

Lately I’ve noticed traits about myself that really drive home the point that I’m old. Like the fact that I mowed my lawn and it looked extra nice or that it rained two days in a row so my grass got watered. The fact that Memorial Day is coming up and Pepsi is going to be on sale… lame things like that. What happened to me?

When I picked up Graham from school last Friday, all ten two year olds were jumping up and down shouting “DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”. Should I be concerned?

It’s been three days since my last French fry. I know this is an ongoing failure in my life but every time I climb back on the wagon I get another chip. I hope they’re Pringles.

Tags:

41 Comments

  1. Captain Dumbass
    on
    1

    Maybe Graham’s just stating his hetrosexuality in the only way he knows how, because Map could not be any more flamboyantly gay if he tried.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Help Me, Obi-wan, You’re My Only Hope

  2. Kyooty
    on
    2

    “Say it with me….” πŸ™‚ Doesn’t it sound like some Fitness guru with uh tanktops and sparkles? πŸ™‚

  3. Andrea
    on
    3

    I would only be concerned if they are screaming Die at you. Then I’d run.

    Map scares me, quite frankly Dora freaks me out and I refuse to let my kids watch it. (you know when we actually had tv).

    Petco as Aquarium Family Fun Day. LOVE IT!

    Andreas last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Death of an Oreo

  4. Kyooty
    on
    4

    That Die Die thing isprobably something about them catching their gold fish snacks and stepping on them? I can’t come up with anything better. i’m betting there’ll be areference to Zombies soon. πŸ™‚

  5. Ginny Marie
    on
    5

    I think it’s amazing that Jamie’s grandpa can actually use email! That’s pretty cool. I’d write more, but my toddler is demanding I let her watch more Wiggles videos.

  6. Harriet
    on
    6

    I’ve always been tempted to pick up the garbage, that people have thrown out of their car, and throw it back into their car while telling them that they have dropped something.

  7. Cat
    on
    7

    I often make Elliot’s mistake, thinking the cigarette butts look like delicious morsels of food, but like her, someone always snatches them away before I can swallow them.

  8. Michele
    on
    8

    Isn’t it cool that Petco substitutes for the aquarium? Yep, you are old. I’ve got proof. JR mowed the lawn on Sunday and I am still loving it.

  9. WickedStepMom
    on
    9

    Map is creepy, dude. Maybe they were screaming DIEE at Map? It could happen!

  10. GreenJello
    on
    10

    What is it in our minds that tells us that “old people” aren’t supposed to have a dirty sense of humor? Is it that whole “my parents NEVER have sex” mentality? πŸ™‚

    You know you’re old when you get excited when the new grocery sale circulars land in the mailbox. Or when a “quiet night at home” sounds just fantastic.

  11. GreenJello
    on
    11

    And I’m glad I’m not the only one who has been tempted to toss those nasty cigarette butts right back into the car of the person tossing it… thread of bodily harm does stop me, though.

  12. Robin
    on
    12

    Oh, you gotta posts those emails! Please? Pretty please!!!

  13. Cara
    on
    13

    See, this is where you are a better mom than me. Because when Bear had an Elmo problem, I’d casually sneak it onto PBS & just wait for him to appear.

    I’m secretly jealous you came up with the Petco idea before I did.

  14. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    14

    I love it! I think a visit to the ‘aquarium’ will be in order soon… πŸ˜‰ I’ve been tempted to toss cigarette butts and trash back into the car that tossed them out, too – but wanting to avoid bodily harm has prohibited me from doing that… πŸ˜‰ Pirogi’s do look like boobies, don’t they? Wonder if Graham will need therapy with the disappointment of that bite… πŸ˜‰ Thanks for reinforcing the fact that I must be old, too – since I admire a freshly mowed lawn and thank Mother Nature for watering it for me… πŸ˜‰

    Happy RTT! πŸ™‚

  15. GiGi @ Incrementum
    on
    15

    I think it’s creepy that at 90 they know how to send emails. Cool, but creepy. My mom is 40…something and partially computer illiterate.

    Your kid’s scared of the map?? That’s a really random thing to be scared of, even for a little kid. But then again, I’m 23 and I scream and run out of the room anytime I see Lala, the yellow Teletubby.

    Happy RTT!
    I played too.

  16. Keely
    on
    16

    Those bike trailer things freak me out. They’re so low and not obviously attached to a bike. Most drivers have a hard time spotting people on bikes, y’know?

    NOT biting the boobies is a good thing.

  17. bex
    on
    17

    Aquarium! my abs hurt! i’m laughing too hard!

    bexs last blog post..RTT: Yeah you know me!

  18. Heather
    on
    18

    I would give the bike back to the rents so they could give it a go the next time they babysat the kids…maybe it would cure them of similar gifts. My daughter LOVES the map on Dora, she stops whatever she’s doing to go over and dance to his little map song…I feel much better knowing she will never get lost in the future from a fear of maps.

    Heathers last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  19. mrsbear
    on
    19

    I have to say I’m a fan of the freshly cut lawn and occasionally I drive past people’s houses and have lawn envy. If I start complaining about my sciatica, please shoot me.

    And Map is not nearly as scary as back pack, who I’m pretty sure is some sort of inter-dimensional portal the defies the laws of physics. Yet talking Map is totally plausible.

    mrsbears last blog post..Not So Fun and Games on a Random Tuesday

  20. Christy
    on
    20

    I’m ashamed to tell you it just took me 2 whole minutes to sound out the word pirogies and understand what it was…I’m losing it! Not a boob man, eh? I have a feeling he’ll come around in about 11 or so more years. And then you’ll want to DIEEEEEEEE! DIEEEEEEE! Lol

    Christys last blog post..I’m On To You

  21. BassAckwards Mom
    on
    21

    hahahaha – I have a blast reading!! I can relate to your fresh cut lawn obsession… I’m sortof getting the same way.

    BassAckwards Moms last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts – Um, it was a snake after all…

  22. jenni
    on
    22

    when Oscar sees me nursing Miles (500x a day) he says, “Miles nurse? Bite? BITE?” like asking for a bite. OF MY BOOB. Yeah.

    Nelson has actually been talking about getting one of those bike chariots for the kids, but he’d only be allowed to use it on the bike trails; Not the actual road.

    jennis last blog post..Snip

  23. jenni
    on
    23

    when Oscar sees me nursing Miles (500x a day) he says, “Miles nurse? Bite? BITE?” like asking for a bite. OF MY BOOB. Yeah.

    Nelson has actually been talking about getting one of those bike chariots for the kids, but he’d only be allowed to use it on the bike trails; Not the actual road.

    jennis last blog post..Snip

  24. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    24

    Map scares me too. And Boots? He’s just nuts.

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..RTT: Too’s Day, Not Thur’s Day. Thur, don’t be greedy.

  25. K
    on
    25

    I broke down and had fries recently. I had forgotten how delicious they are.

    I don’t think you should worry about toddlers are saying – it’s hard enough to keep up with the crazy stuff they are doing.

    Happy random Tuesdsay.

    Ks last blog post..Truly Random Thoughts

  26. Peggy
    on
    26

    Kanye West opened a restaurant of his chain Fat Burger close by and I swear, they have the best fries EVAH!

    Thick cut steak fries served perfectly salted and piping hot…oops, sorry! πŸ™‚

    Peggys last blog post..For Blogger’s/On Bloggers

  27. blissfully caffeinated
    on
    27

    Fucking dying that you took the kids to Petco and told them it was the aquarium. Why didn’t I ever think to do that?

    People that throw cigarette butts down (especially if they don’t even bother to stomp them out) should be shot. Also, I vomited in my mouth a little re: Elliot eating them. Gah, that’s nasty.

    Hate Dora? You will love this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1610/saturday-night-live-tv-funhouse

    Great RTT!

    blissfully caffeinateds last blog post..Jesus, I’m Depressed

  28. CDB
    on
    28

    Hm, between the “boob” comment and the “die die die” I’m a little concerned. Is he hanging out with the Mafia? JK.

    And my son is just starting to like Dora. He likes Boots, because he says “Read Boots. Read boots” but it sounds like “Read Boobs? Read Boobs?” So maybe they have that in common. He’s hanging out with the Mafia.

    (HEY. It’s Random day, RIGHT?)

    CDBs last blog post..RTT: Ruminations Titillating and Tumultuous

  29. Leslie
    on
    29

    Oh Casey – I love your random Tuesday posts – I really need to get off of my ass and write one myself. The bike trailer cracked me up too – we’re thinking of getting one as well but we’re afraid of what will happen when we cram both boys into such a cramped space. And I hear ya about getting old. The other day I almost did a cart wheel becaused I saved $33 using coupons. Lame.

    Leslies last blog post..Toy Envy

  30. Leslie
    on
    30

    And it seems my sight is going to hell too because I can’t even type/spell anymore

    Leslies last blog post..Toy Envy

  31. Lisa (Jonny's Mommy)
    on
    31

    I’d have a rough time giving up the fry too.

    Graham is afraid of the map? Really. Jonathan loves it. He is, however, afraid of Scooby Doo. He seemed to like it but then there were ghosts and goblins and witches and he was done. Which is OK with me because those things scare me too.

    Sorry about the basket not working out as well as you would like. Maybe they’ll fall asleep at some point and there will be no crying and slapping.

    Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy)s last blog post..Anti-Monkey Butt Powder and other Random Tuesday Thoughts

  32. ArtSnark
    on
    32

    Be grateful on the map thing – I’m convinced Dora’s the antichrist or at least this generation’s Barney

    ArtSnarks last blog post..Almost Random But Not Quite – RTT

  33. Heather
    on
    33

    Lays or Doritos….go big woman!!!
    &
    You could freak “him” out when he’s being bad and sing “The Map” song under your breath!?! (I’m evil that way) πŸ™‚

    Heathers last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts….my dog wants to join the circus!!!

  34. Cape Cod Gal
    on
    34

    Are you kidding? Mowing the lawn is my favorite thing! Nothing makes me happier….except weeding. Now there’s a fun exercise. I’m getting old along with you.

    Cape Cod Gals last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts – The Graduate

  35. ck
    on
    35

    Your aquarium trip ROCKS!

    (And my daughter hasn’t watched Dora in over a year and she still has nightmares about Swiper. Damn Nick Jr.)

    cks last blog post..when wills collide

  36. Sammanthia
    on
    36

    Don’t feel bad- I’ve fallen of the frappucino wagon 25 or 26 times since I first swore them off. I suck.

    Sammanthias last blog post..Lowe’s Is Like The Red Light District For People Who Are Addicted To Home Improvement Projects And Hostas Are My Crack.

  37. Lin
    on
    37

    I totally laughed out loud and then read to Joe out loud the part about going to the Aquarium. Yeah, I remember those days of cheap entertainment. Oh, add to it that I used to tell the kids “no” on Happy Meals because “you can’t buy happiness”. You can have a cheeseburger and fries from the menu and still be happy. I think they are permanently scarred.

    Lins last blog post..Circus Cat and Where’s The Kitty?

  38. lisa
    on
    38

    Maybe he’s a butt man. Of course now you have to worry about whose butt he likes… errr…. maybe you should start emphasizing his like for boobies! πŸ™‚

    lisas last blog post..Crazy Neighbors, FAIL statuses, and Other Random Tuesday Thoughts

  39. lisa
    on
    39

    By the way, who wouldn’t freak out by a cartoon map saying: “I’m the map I’m the map I’m the map I’m the map” A LOT! Even I say: Dooooood, I got it already. You’re a little too exciteed.

    lisas last blog post..Crazy Neighbors, FAIL statuses, and Other Random Tuesday Thoughts

  40. Cameron
    on
    40

    Back in the day, when I smoked, I always wanted to throw lit butts into the convertibles of middle-aged douchebag men who were compensating for…something. Is that weird?

    Camerons last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  41. cyndi
    on
    41

    Petco rocks and Jack has been all about the boobs lately. Enjoy the pepsi sales this weekend….You’ll always be way younger than me, but I can definitely tell a difference this decade :sniff:

    cyndis last blog post..It take a joyful sound

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