A Tale Of Two Cities

May 6, 2009 12:24 am

This past Saturday, I left for the airport at 6am to catch my flight. Excited to be heading away for a child free day, it was only after I boarded the plane that I noticed the ginormous pizza stain down the front of my white t-shirt. My parents stayed in my room and I forgot to get a clean shirt out before they retired for the night. I ended up wearing the t-shirt I slept to the airport to avoid having to wake them. I texted Jamie to inform him of my pizza stain status (I thought he could use a laugh) and put on my sweatshirt for the duration of the trip.

Immediately after sitting down on the plane, both of my fellow rowmates made strategic moves to claim the arm rests on either side of me. I know better than to lose out in an arm rest war but I’m always slow to the draw so I sat there squished and sweaty while cursing my middle seat status. The lady in the next row over was wearing a Michael Jackson mask to ensure that she didn’t get Swine Flu but she kept taking it off to get a sip of (potentially infested) water, defeating the point altogether.

Around the time I noticed the masked passenger, someone sneezed. Then another person coughed. The lady next to me cleared her throat and sniffled a few times. I was surrounded by a plane full of patient zeros. I thought about swiping the smart (not at all crazy) woman’s mask and thought better of it. As I type this (Tuesday evening), my throat is sore and I’ve contracted some sniffles of my own. It’s only a matter of time before I start oinking like a pig.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. I watched a movie until my laptop battery kicked it. I stared at the back of the seat in front of me until we finally landed and I could breathe clean air again. I caught my connecting flight and Jamie picked me up. We checked into the hotel and I took a sweet ass forty-five minute nap. Awwwwwwww, yeah. We got ready and headed to the main event.

The wedding was nice, short and sweet. Our two year old niece (daughter of the bride and groom) sat in the front row and yelled out random, hilarious things (like “cookie!” and “who dat guy?”) throughout the ceremony. The reception came around and Jamie pulled off a stellar best man speech. His intention was to make people laugh and cry and he did both.

The dancing started out strong with “The Twist”. My SIL and I were twisting along (quite terribly) when Jamie and my BIL twisted their way over. We were trying to out twist each other and the competition was tough. This is where our Wii Fit hula hooping moves came in handy. Twisting was taking a lot out of us so we alternated between hulaing and twisting to save our energy. We took a break until later in the night when my SIL dragged me back out on the floor. I concocted a game where (since I can’t dance) we took turns picking a random stranger from the crowd and dancing like them for an entire song.  Jamie and my BIL joined the game and we were all dancing along, mimicking a crazy cousin’s dancing and having a blast. My BIL (who’d had a few too many) started talking to the crazy cousin and unbeknownst to us, filled her in on the game. We scrambled to change it up before she caught onto us and quit dancing shortly after almost getting busted.

The next morning we got to the airport at 6:30 only to find out that our flight was delayed due to poor visibility (note: missed sleep opportunity). We were now in jeopardy of missing our connecting flight so we spent the delay staring at the monitor trying to will the flight to take off already. The flight landed seventeen minutes before our connecting flight was supposed to leave. We took the shuttle bus to the opposite side of the airport but the future looked grim. When the bus doors opened, my willpower to fly kicked in and I yelled “I’M RUNNING!” as I took off sprinting across the airport. Jamie tried to keep up, all the while yelling negative things like “We’re not going to make it, just give up!” and “I’m not running anymore, this is ridiculous!”. I left his lazy ass behind and ran for the gate.

I pulled up to the gate with about two minutes to spare. The gate attendant looked at me like I was nuts (huffing and puffing and clearly out of shape) as I did the whole dramatic “OMG, I can’t believe I made it! This is so incredible!” thing. I told him that my husband was clearly in worse shape than me (not true) but he was right behind me and they needed to wait. Jamie made it and we got onto the plane, huffing and puffing and sweaty as all hell.

The whirlwind weekend was fun but I’m still tired as hell. We made it home just in time for the kids to get up from their afternoon naps so we got a full afternoon of toddler in. We’re both still sore from all of the crazy twisting that accompanied the evening and I’m totally counting that airport sprint as my exercise for this week.


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  1. Wendy

    I think you can count it all. Get some rest would ya?

  2. anymommy

    I am so glad I haven’t been on a plane lately. I’m not a total germ freak, but that would do me in, I think.

    Glad you had a great time!

  3. ck

    Twisting competition is always tough at weddings. But I’ve found that open bars usually help provide the necessary encouragement to keep going.

    I’ve often wondered, though, what kinds of stories DJs tell each other at the office during the week…

    cks last blog post..tantrums 201

  4. K

    Airport sprints totally count. Add in the calories burnt from the stress along and you probably negated the whole wedding meal.

    Sounds like a good weekend all and all.

    (And I’m stealing your dancing game next wedding – too funny.)

    Ks last blog post..RTT – The Dirty Old Lady In Training Edition

  5. janine

    I get on a plane with the intention of winning the armrest war. Especially if my neighbor is a man.

    janines last blog post..

  6. Ginny Marie

    That is such a cute picture! We haven’t had a picture taken of just the two of us for a long time. Guess that’s what we need to do at the wedding we’re going to in May!

    Ginny Maries last blog post..Book Nook: The Chestnut Tree

  7. WickedStepMom

    I am going to count a full afternoon of toddler stuff as exercise for you too. So, you are well ahead of the curve!

    P.S. – I left something on my blog for you.

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..Sushi Grade Award

  8. Sprite's Keeper

    Girl, you both look great! Who cares what your moves looked like. They were too busy checking you studs out!

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Projectile Embarrassment

  9. Cat

    Reading about your pizza stain kinda made me hungry. I know, I’m seeing a therapist.

    Cats last blog post..I Have GOT To Stop Eating Feces

  10. Robin

    Awww. What a great pic! (And is it inappropriate/creepy to point out what hawt cleavage you’ve got goin’ on?)

    Robins last blog post..Wordful Wednesday

  11. jen

    i think you are clearn on the exercise front for a whole week after the twisting and the sprint. plus naps … don’t they say getting enough sleep helps too.
    you are set!
    glad you had fun on your getaway. welcome home!

    jens last blog post..2nd birthdays and 2 reasons why i love her …

  12. HeatherPride

    Yay for your airport victory! Are you sure you don’t want to be on The Amazing Race? I’m always scouting for my perfect teammate and I could use your airport skills.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..Duck Salad

  13. bex

    have you started oinking?

    that picture is so cute! what an adorable, young looking couple. yall don’t look a day past 27.

    bexs last blog post..Hippos, Cheetahs and Aimee, Oh My! Our day at the zoo….

  14. Kyooty

    YAY!! for making it to the plane, that totally counts for a work out

    Kyootys last blog post..Randon Tuesday, 100th post

  15. Lisa

    Ack! Too much traveling for me. I’d have been weeping and crying and all that jazz. They would have searched me 10 times, sure I was off my meds. I don’t fly, however. Afraid of falling out of the sky, etc., etc. Good thing huh?

  16. Becky

    Y’all look so cute! Glad you had a fun trip. I hate those airport sprints!

    Beckys last blog post..Numerous Issues

  17. Lydia @ On The Verge

    I think that should count as your cardio this week. Love the pic!

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – I Hate Teeth!

  18. jenni

    you guys look great. sounds like a nice weekend away

    jennis last blog post..RTT: What do you Mean it’s Wednesday?

  19. Christy

    You guys look great!! The twisting counts as a workout, right? All worth it then. 🙂

  20. Pseudo

    We did an airport sprint once, quite an adrenaline rush.

    Pseudos last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  21. Peggy

    Sounds like you guys had a blast! Cool! I would’ve been all over the dance game fo sho!

    That is a totally awesome picture! You and Jamie and both look hawt!

    Peggys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  22. bex

    hey! you rock! and i gave you an award on my blog to prove it!

    bexs last blog post..an award and a tease

  23. Michelle

    You look wonderful! And yes, the exercise TOTALLY counts 🙂
    Sorry you didn’t get more rest. Just another case of “need a vacation from the vacation”…

    Michelles last blog post..The Perfect Mother’s Day Gift

  24. Michele

    You two look awesome. Sounds like good times. go take another nap.

    Micheles last blog post..It seems I’m on a cat theme-UPDATE

  25. sherendipity

    They were interviewing a stewardess on the radio the other day, and asking her about the cleaning processes between flights….when she promptly verified that there are none. There’s no time to sanitize properly and still have flights take off on time.

    sherendipitys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  26. cape cod Gal

    Yes, the mad sprint through the airport is always an eventful part of our trips. I’m convinced they do it on purpose just to entertain themselves.

    BTW- you look fabulous, darlin’! Excellent rack! I continue to be horribly jealous!

    cape cod Gals last blog post..Okay….I Confess….I Own One!

  27. mrsbear

    The sprint and the dancing both count as exercise, totally evens you up for that fabled dessert table you kept mentioning. Quite the adventure. And you guys look fancy in your dress duds.

    mrsbears last blog post..Toilet Non-Humor and Random Tuesday Thoughts

  28. Captain Dumbass

    Airport sprints should count as extra because of the extra stress involved.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Piglet & Pooh

  29. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    All the dancing, twisting, hula-ing and airport sprint should count for 2 weeks of exercise, no? 😉 Glad you had a good time, albeit in a whirlwind mode. 😉

    Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)s last blog post..Thousand Words Thursday – Super Computer

  30. Keely

    You had me at “45 minute nap”. Sigh.

    Keelys last blog post..My Secret Garden is not very secret

  31. Sandie

    Your flight sounds about as interesting as mine was a few weeks ago! Except my flight got cancelled. Luckily the airline booked me on another airline and I ended up making it to my final destination about the same as my original flight was supposed to arrive (I had to make a mad dash through the airport to get to get to that flight though…and I had my 8 year old in tow). Fun times, let me tell ya!

    Glad you had a good albeit exhausting weekend!

    Sandies last blog post..My poor neglected blog…

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