April 21, 2009 12:13 am
Welcome to this week’s edition of Random Tuesday Thoughts, where people from all walks of life make shit up in an attempt to get a laugh. Check out Keely’s place for more jokety-goodness.
We are so screwed: Toddlers Who Throw Temper Tantrums May End Up in Prison Later in Life. Do you think I should start dressing Graham in an orange jumpsuit now?
I’m ashamed to admit that I watch The Celebrity Apprentice. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d like to punch both Joan and Melissa Rivers in their fucking throats. Those women are the two most annoying people I’ve ever seen on television.
We watch Wife Swap (I know, I know) and Jamie and I always place bets to see which mom will cry first. Why the hell do people go on that show if they’re going to fight every single rule change?
I’ve blogged about Graham’s love for the “Happy Birthday” song before. With Jamie and Elliot’s birthdays both last week, we spent the majority of the week singing “Happy Birthday”. Graham likes Frank Sinatra’s version the best so we’ve kept it on repeat on his CD player way too often.
Last week when I was picking up Graham from school, I lost him. Jamie had Elliot and I was talking to his teacher for a few minutes when I realized he was gone. It turns out, he was on my hip. I was carrying him the entire damn time and I’m so used to having Elliot on my hip that I just assumed it was her. Dumbass here, nice to meet ya.
I went to the gym yesterday and I’m planning on going every day this week. Sounds impressive, no? I’m really only going for ten minutes a day for Elliot to get used to the daycare in small doses. Still, I’m counting those ten minutes as a workout.
I got the chance to go to a movie with friends last night. We saw “Knowing” at 9:40 and I didn’t get out until right around midnight. The movie was sort of scary and sort of hokey but the entire drive home, I was sure someone was in the back seat coming to kill me. I made it home alive.
The only reason that I was able to even make it through a movie that late was because I took a two hour nap yesterday. Woot. I napped along with the kids and Jamie held down the fort while I napped some more. I’m a nappy mofo. I’m not sure that came out right.
I’m going on week four sans French fries. In lieu of French fries, I have inserted cake into my diet (and mouth). I think that’s fair.
There is no poop to speak of this week, even though I know you guys depend on me for it. Graham has yet to poop on the potty, all of the shit has been shoveled out of the yard and no animals have shit on my car as of late. Sorry folks.
Toddler beds suck. They suck major ass. The past week was spent chasing Graham back to bed umpteen times a night. Did I mention that he got the hang of doorknobs last week too? And that we have oval doorknobs and the childproof doorknob covers don’t work on our doors? That might have been pertinent to the story. After day four of sleeping on the couch and guarding his door, I installed a lock on the outside to keep him in. Now, it just sounds like someone is pounding down the door all night instead.
Party on, dudes!
Tags: Random Tuesday Thoughts