February 23, 2009 7:00 am
Welcome to week 18 of club HASAY! Not sure what HASAY is? Read all about it here. Also, this will be my weekly submission for this week’s Spin Cycle. I’m doubling up today since I thought that this week’s Spin Cycle topic (change) was pretty relevant to today’s post.
This week’s awesome guest poster is none other than… wait for it… ME. I actually didn’t get around to asking anybody to guest post and remembered it over the weekend so I said screw it and you get to read all about my HASAY journey instead. HASAY participants: Remember to enter your URL in Mr Linky below if you’ve posted a HASAY update this week.
Do you remember the speech your parents used to give you when they said they were “disappointed in you”? If you halfway respected your parents, those words stung. Lately, HASAY has been creating a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This feeling is not only because of my personal HASAY failure, but because of the downfall of the group as a whole. I’m disappointed in us. (*Note: There are several people who are still on board with the HASAY plan and I would like to say how proud I am of you and that you should probably stop reading after this paragraph. One of you is even running on an injured foot. You guys rock and you look smokin’!)
I love being referred to as the “fearless HASAY leader”, but my leadership hasn’t produced the results I had hoped for. What happened to the loads of enthusiasm we had in the beginning? It has dwindled down to a half hearted “woo”. Less than half the thirty-two current participants are still gung ho and the other ones haven’t even checked in with us in awhile. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m among the unenthused.
I need change. Something to motivate me into submission. I’m starting this week with a challenge to all of you HASAYers out there. Shit or get off the pot. You signed up for this club because you needed a swift kick in the ass. Here’s your kick. WHAM! Man, your ass feels squishy. That squishy ass is exactly why you need to get with the program. This isn’t just another boring lecture, I’m reaching around and kicking myself in the ass too. Not only is my ass squishy, but my stomach and arms and thighs and well, basically every inch of me screams FATASS (pronounced Fuh-Tass). I know it and I don’t like it. I’ve been using my life and my kids and anything else I can as an excuse and it ends here. I mean it this time.
I’m going to lay it all out on the line for you here. I’m fat. I was borderline fat for several years and then pumping out two kids in two years put me over the top. When I go shopping, I almost always end up in tears or close to it. It’s pathetic. When I look for pictures of me with my kids, I can only find a few. It’s because I intentionally avoid cameras because I hate the outcome. That’s not fair to my kids to deprive them of pictures with their mom. I’m going to do something about it. I plan on making myself the person I want to be, instead of the person I ended up being.
I’m having breast reduction surgery sometime this summer. It’s not something I’ve blogged about before but it’s one of the things on the forefront of my mind. In order to produce the desired results, I need to lose a lot of weight before then. I’ve known this for awhile but again, excuses excuses. It’s almost the end of February and I haven’t done jack shit to get myself in shape. My new plan is to use the Wii Fit every day and to do the 30 Day Shred at least three times a week. This will take every ounce of energy I have and will really test my willpower. I can’t exercise while the kids are awake so it will also take a chunk of my spare time. I have to learn to be ok with that. I HAVE to.
I know I can do this by myself, but I don’t want to. I want you guys (those of you who signed up) to do it with with me. I want us to all be happy with ourselves and glad that we busted our asses. I want to leave the disappointment behind and instead, be beaming with pride. Jamie told me that this post was a bit harsh and that I shouldn’t post it. I agree, it was harsh but isn’t that what you asked for from your fearless leader? Are you guys still with me? Don’t be a NAYSAYER, be a HASAYer.