The other morning started out very shittily (it’s a word). I went to put on my deodorant and it broke into a thousand fucking pieces. I took a little sliver off of the floor and smeared it in my armpits and then went to start my day of getting screamed at by a two year old.

After making a trip to the store to buy more deodorant, I discovered that that particular scent was discontinued. Goddamn it. It takes me a long time to warm up to a new scent so I took my time and tried to pick out one that I might like. Target only sold the newly chosen scent in two-packs so I had to commit myself to TWO entire sticks of deodorant. Now, every time I catch a whiff of the new scent, I wonder what the hell that smell is and think there’s someone in the house.

I was playing with Elliot on the floor today and I smelled shit. I had recently changed her (shitty) diaper so I knew it wasn’t her. Then I started second guessing my wiping skills and sniffed her butt again but still, not her. After about ten minutes of doing this, I realized that we were playing right next to the trash can which contained the shitty diaper. Oh.

We boarded the dogs last week while Elliot had her surgery. I’m not sure if they smeared them in dead flesh or what but every time one of them walks by, it smells like dead ass. I suppose I should wash them or take them through the car wash.

Last week I sat down on the couch and someone else’s fart (I’m not saying who but there are only two adults living in this house) flew up from the cushion into my nose. It was trapped in the cushion waiting to escape and I was the lucky victim. I had food in my mouth at the time and it was not a pleasant experience. This is why I want a leather couch, farts bounce right off of leather. I guess a cork would prevent that from happening in the future too and would be a cheaper solution.

As I typed this list, I realized that pretty much every Random Tuesday post from me has been centered around shit or French fries (but never at the same time). What’s the matter with me?

For more randomness, head over to Keely’s place.

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45 Comments

  1. Peggy
    on
    1

    I’m gonna try and use the word “shittily” in at least three sentences today!

    Since I have many errands to run with my 3 year old, it probably won’t be that hard!

    Thanks for my “word of the day”! You never let me down.

  2. Ginny Marie
    on
    2

    I hate it when something I depend on is discontinued! I’m still mad at Bath and Body Works for getting rid of my favorite scent, and that was ten years ago. (It was called Limelight. Darn BBW!)

  3. Michele
    on
    3

    Shit, shitter, shittily. Yep, it works.

  4. cyndi
    on
    4

    Casey, you make me laugh and want to give you a big old hug at the same time. If you tell me your deod of choice was a Secret flavor, I may pass out since I had this SAME experience last week (without the 1000 pieces, tho that has happened to me)! Happy Tuesday!

  5. WickedStepMom
    on
    5

    I have noticed that trend too… See you next week for your french fry post. Though, I thought they were called freedom fries now..

  6. Cat
    on
    6

    Ah, the couch cushion fart – I know it well. It’s always worse when the cushion is covered by a blanket, so you get inside the blanket and don’t realize you’re trapped in there with a fart until you make an adjustment and a corner flaps up and part of the fart escapes. By then it’s too late: it’s been baked to your legs.

  7. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    7

    Last night, I went to use our bathroom when Sprite and I got home for the day. I walked in and there was a good smell permeating the air, almost as if John had just sprayed something. But John had been away from the house for a good 9 hours. Two hours later, with John home, I went to use the bathroom again, I drink a lot of water, and the smell was still very strong. Then I noticed our bathtub. Sprite had pushed over a semi-open bottle of Sweetpea bubble bath which had dripped all over the side of the tub. Not so much fun to clean when it’s been allowed to sit there and coagulate. But at least it’s better than a stewed cushion fart..

  8. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
    on
    8

    The dreaded ‘thousand pieces’ deodorant incident…been there, not fun! πŸ™‚ It sucks when you’re favorite scent gets discontinued – when I had to get something else, I did the same as you wondering what that smell was. At least it didn’t smell shittily…LOL! πŸ˜‰ Ohhhh…the farts – hubby can produce some smelly ones, but the Princess Nagger can out do them now, especially if she’s been getting into the fruit snacks. I usually blame it on the dogs… πŸ˜‰

  9. Heather
    on
    9

    Yeah….I had a wonderful shitty smell invade my nostrils this morning….an unflushed turd probably about 8 hours old….ahhh…kids!!!

  10. Wendy
    on
    10

    Shit, Farts and French Fries.

    sounds like a Fast Food Restaurant, if you ask me.

    “come see us…it’s shittily delicious!”

    πŸ™‚

  11. Sarah
    on
    11

    Our car wash here in town as a seperate “Doggy Wash” I always wanted to go and see if they would let me put my kid’s in the tub. : )

    Happy Tuesday!

  12. Julie@Cool Mom Guide
    on
    12

    I get free samples from Mysavings.com so I have about 5 mini deodorants around the house. I haven’t actually bought any in 3 years, I just live off samples.

    Julie@Cool Mom Guides last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts-Putting the β€˜Fun’ Dysfunction

  13. Ryan
    on
    13

    She forgot to mention that she rarely uses any…

    Ryans last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  14. Julie@Cool Mom Guide
    on
    14

    Har har…I smell like freakin roses home slice, you don’t want to talk stink with me.

    Julie@Cool Mom Guides last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts-Putting the β€˜Fun’ Dysfunction

  15. Ryan
    on
    15

    That’s probably true.

    Ryans last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  16. Keely
    on
    16

    I hate phantom smells. X can have the tiniest little streak in his diaper and it’s enough scent for 3 grown adults.

    I enjoy the bodily functions and fries. You should combine them. I’m guessing they’d taste like Cheerios.

    Keelys last blog post..People suck and sometimes so do their books: Random Tuesday Thoughts

  17. HeatherPride
    on
    17

    Oh, I HATE having to buy a new deodorant. It’s a huge commitment. Makes my palms sweat just thinking about it.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..Grand Theft Auto – Short Bus Style

  18. Beth
    on
    18

    You are so shitrageous! And thank you for not mixing shit-related and french fry-related posts!

    Beths last blog post..129 and Holding

  19. Ryan
    on
    19

    I will never approach a couch in the same way again.

    Ryans last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  20. Sue
    on
    20

    I hope you get used to the deodorant. You could always go “unscented.” That’s what my husband uses because he hate’s the smell of deodorants.

    Sues last blog post..Dreaming of a Vacation!

  21. Captain Dumbass
    on
    21

    They should not be allowed to discontinue deodorants. Ever. It takes me forever to find one that works. Now I’m stuck with Axe. Axe! Those commercials lie.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Random Tuesday: Love, Head Trauma And Fish

  22. Cape Cod Gal
    on
    22

    So, basically your house smells like farts, shit, dead ass and deodorant. Can’t wait to visit!

    Leather couchs do bounce those offending farts, but the throw pillows don’t. Trust me…I’ve been there.

    Cape Cod Gals last blog post..Behold, My Randomness.

  23. Raven
    on
    23

    What I hate is when you get that random foul smell that you can’t find no matter how many times you walk around the house like a bloodhound sniffing for it.

    I hate it when they discontinue my deodorant smell too, I’m very picky and when I start a new one I’m forever trying to figure out what smells like peaches, or pears or whatever crappy replacement they have.

    Ravens last blog post..Minnesota Weather, Non Arguments, Michael Phelps and Shrub Pronounced Dead

  24. blissfully caffeinated
    on
    24

    I hate it when the deodorant falls apart or falls off of it’s little fastener spear. Especially when there’s still a good 1/2 inch left. That’s many days of armpit coverage wasted.

    blissfully caffeinateds last blog post..Gimme A Cupcake, Dammit

  25. Sammanthia
    on
    25

    *Absolutely nothing*. Shit and french fries are the stuff blog posts are made of. The good ones, anyway.

    Sammanthias last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Part I

  26. K
    on
    26

    So now I really want french fries – what’s wrong with me?

    Ks last blog post..Guest Post – I thought my life would be different

  27. Amy
    on
    27

    Shittily is my new word!!! It’s all your fault! *lmao*

    Amys last blog post..Random thoughts Tuesday

  28. ChurchPunkMom
    on
    28

    I have the same issues with deodorant. I once accused my husband of cheating.. then realized it was me leaving the foreign scent all over him.. oops.

    I have pleather couches. Totally fixes the fart-bomb problem.. just don’t leave blankets down to sit on.

    Thanks for stopping by! Nice to meet you. πŸ™‚

    ChurchPunkMoms last blog post..Not entirely happy, not entirely sad or funny either random thoughts for your Tuesday…

  29. Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy
    on
    29

    LOL. The fart was trapped in the couch? That sucks…

    Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommys last blog post..See Kai Run Review and Giveaway!

  30. Krystal
    on
    30

    See, atleast you were playing next to the garbage can and could have moved away. One time I was changing Baby Boy and the diaper fell off the counter because yes, I had to wash his rear – you know how they don’t like baby wipes or towels? – yeah, so I picked it up and threw it away.

    All day at work and that evening I kept smelling something rancid. I thought that it was baby spit up from Tiny Dancer but I checked my shirt and nothing so I thought it was just me and that I had that phantom smell you know? Guess what it was….

    the poopy diaper fell on my shoes and I didn’t realize it!!!!

    Oh, by the way, you got another award on my blog waiting for you.

    Krystals last blog post..Are you sure about this?

  31. bex
    on
    31

    there were a lot of unpleasant smells in this post. let’s imagine that you are baking oatmeal cookies…. mmmmmm…… (that’s better)

    bexs last blog post..wordle

  32. Sandie
    on
    32

    At least you keep your french fries and your shit separated! πŸ™‚

    And I hate when I forget that I threw a shitty diaper in the garbage and then smell it for the rest of the day! I’m forever checking Amber’s diaper trying in vain to figure out where the smell is coming from only to remember hours later that it’s the diaper in the trash can!

    Sandies last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Tree Reading

  33. Mrs. C.
    on
    33

    So, was it a dog food fart? Hee, hee.
    Your wit gave me the best laugh I’ve had all day, and thank the lord for that.
    We were at church Sunday and dear husband caught my eye, I thought to give me a loving look, but no, he was mouthing the words “did you fart?!” Man has gas on the brain, if you ask me. It was the fart, er FRUIT, of his loins that tooted in church, not me.

    I used to work in a Super 8 before we got married and the tourists loved to toss dirty diapers in the trashcans by the elevators so their rooms wouldn’t stink. No point in keeping the scent of ass all to yourself when you can share it with the entire hotel, I guess…

  34. mrsbear
    on
    34

    Is it wrong that I laughed my ass off at you rubbing deodorant slivers in your pits?

    Dude, sometimes a rank diaper will smell up my whole house, and that’s double plastic bagging it…

    Getting leather sofas with dogs and kids was the best thing I ever did (maybe not ever – they’re wipable, and the farts don’t linger, neither does the dog hair. Is good.

    mrsbears last blog post..The Doctor’s Visit – Random Tuesday Thoughts

  35. Shangrila
    on
    35

    LOL-there’s nothing wrong with you! I’d say more but I can’t because you made me laugh ’til I cried!

    Shangrilas last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: My Laptop Needs Penicillin

  36. FoN
    on
    36

    Hey, that’s ANOTHER good reason why I want a leather couch! I’m totally stealing that.

    You have young children – you’re entire life revolves around french fries and shit and there is nothing you can do about it. Sorry.

    FoNs last blog post..Random Tuesdays ’cause it’s Tuesday

  37. Debbie
    on
    37

    I’m LMAO at getting a whiff of the smell and thinking there is someone in the house.

    And have you ever tried a new deodorant only to find that the scent of the deodorant smells like BO? WHY would they do that to people?

    Debbies last blog post..Random Tuesday – February 17, 2009

  38. carrie
    on
    38

    That is just shitty. How this week is better for you.

    carries last blog post..12 days of Torture and 13.1 Miles Of Determination

  39. Kia (Good Enough Mama)
    on
    39

    Ha! I thought you were going to say that it was your pits that smelled of shit. I SO get this new scent issue. I HATE changing deo scents.

    On another shitty note, I also get the dogs smelling. We used to have dogs. We’d board them at our vets’ when we went on vacay and they always smelly funky when they came home…

  40. Ferd
    on
    40

    … wiping skills…
    … dead ass…
    … bouncing farts…
    There is a common thread here. Hmm. What could be wrong with you. I’m thinking… nothing! A fixation at the anal stage. It’s part of your charm!
    : )

  41. Becky
    on
    41

    OMG, I am dying. And I did not know that about a leather couch. So thank you.

    Beckys last blog post..Tuesday Tidbits: In Which I Break the Law, Maybe? But I Also Read.

  42. anymommy
    on
    42

    I love your shit and french fries posts.

    anymommys last blog post..Birthin’ Babies

  43. Dizzy
    on
    43

    You are too funny. Why do we do the nose to butt smell check? If our assumption is right it is gonna smell bad. I guess we’ll never learn.

    Dizzys last blog post..Random What?

  44. Katie
    on
    44

    Yes, I too have used the sliver of deodorant from the floor. Maybe we should invent a new deodorant “single serving ball” – a jar filled with deodorant balls actually, so none goes to waste.

    Katies last blog post..Earn 2 Bucks, the hard way

  45. Toni
    on
    45

    Your Random Tuesday posts are always a bright spot in my week!!!!

    Not to mention this post sounded so familiar – have you been spying on us?

    Tonis last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – My Lil’ Cowboy

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