Club Half As Small As You: Week 15

February 2, 2009 7:00 am

Welcome to week 15 of the HASAY challenge! Not sure what HASAY is? Read all about it here. I won my Wii Fit battle and mine is on it’s way. The Wii got here on Saturday and the Wii Fit is scheduled to show up soon. I can’t wait. If you’re having trouble finding one, we got a pretty cheap deal from one of Amazon’s resellers and it shipped right out. Woo!

Today’s guest poster is Kimberly from Your Basic Dare To Be Great Situation. Kimberly started her blog to follow her weight loss journey. Here other blog is over here. Both are hilarious and I suggest you stop by to see for yourself.

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This is my first guest post. So naturally, I panicked.

I’ve been reading Casey’s blog for a while now. Great writing, brutal honesty, lots of tough love. Me? I mock my customers and take drive-by photos of concrete phalluses in people’s yards. My husband constantly derides my pedestrian picture-uploading skills.

Also, Hasay. Today I begin a 30-minute a day walking program regardless of weather, laziness, willingness, or any other –ness that would prevent me from exercising. Today, when my husband claims NOAA is calling for a massive blizzard to overspread (they love that word) the region tomorrow. Whoo!

Anyway, while I was folding laundry last night and generally procrastinating, the word that came to me was ‘perception’. I recently reconnected with a ton of friends from high school and I’ve been busily uploading all the embarrassing pictures to Facebook that I could find. Ghosts of hallways past have been visiting me daily.

High school, for the most part, with the possible exception of freshman year, was a good experience. Except for one thing.

I was a ‘fat girl’.

Not every day, not every minute, but with enough regularity to remind me not to think too highly of myself, someone explained to me that I was fat. Because, you know, I might forget. This still happens, once in a while, even though I am nearly 40.

But looking at these old pictures gives me pause. I look at them and think, jeez, aside from the hair (which took hours) and the sweater vest I’m not sorry I wore because my grandmother made it and my grandmother was awesome, was I hideous? Not really.

Yet I took in the ugliness that was said to me. I believed it. I accepted the reality they perceived.

Perception is tricky in this weight loss business. It tells us whether we have succeeded or failed. It tells us whether we are allowed to have a good day or a bad day based on that number that appears between our toes when we squint at the scale. It tells us whether we are hungry or not. And this is where it is at is most untrustworthy. Hunger is a go-to feeling. Its much easier to decide I am hungry than to decide I am angry. Or frustrated. Or lonely. Or desperate for reassurance. Or simply tired of holding my end up. And I spent just enough time thinking myself unworthy based on other people’s perception of me that it is an effort to consider myself worthy enough to ask one simple question:

“What do I need?”

If we don’t answer that question honestly, success will elude us. More importantly, peace will allude us.

What do you need?

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FoN from Kids and Daiquiris: Monday update.
Amy from Amy’s Annotations - Tuesday update.
Michelle from Michelle’s Blog :Monday update.
Kirsty at My Life For The World To See :Sunday update.
Tina from Teeny Thoughts - Tuesday Update.
Sandie from Sandie Simply Says - Wednesday update.
Cyndi from The Adventures of HarryJack
Lisette at The Coupon Queen of Corning
Leslie at Captain Crazy
Christy from Heavy On The Caffeine
Kimberly (Sheilamaiden) is from Your Basic Dare To Be Great Situation: Guest poster this week!
Keely from The Un-MOM : Sunday Update.
Lisa from Boondock Ramblings - Monday update.
Kristy at Mommy in Pink
Ali over at Aloicious: Life in the SLC
Jen at Coconut Belly - Tuesday update.
Kat at Mother Fonker
Heidi at The World According To Heidi
Kiki from Kiki’s Corner
Laufa from Morgan Madness: Monday update.
DeeMarie from My Life In A Nutshell
Carrie from Colepack - Tuesday Update.
Cellobella from Redsultana
Jenboglass from Steenky Bee
Jen from Sprite’s Keeper: Monday update.
Heather from Geez Louize!!!b- Monday update.
Mrs Bear from Outnumbered Two To One Sunday update.
Debbie from Buzzin By … With Thoughts On The Fly - Tuesday update.
Beth from Drastic Measures- Monday update.
Elisa from Fairy Flutters
Brenda from Seriously Mama
Cape Cod Gal from Diamond in the Rough - Thursday update.

Tags: Club Half As Small As You

18 Comments

K
on February 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
1
Definitely not hideous.

And I love the hair - I wish big hair was still remotely cool.

Ks last blog post..Super Steelers!

[Reply to this Comment]
Laufa
on February 2nd, 2009 at 8:34 am
2
Kimberly, babe, your beautiful. Other peoples perceptions can be decieving. Have you ever heard of when you look at someone and they look gorgeous, then they open their mouth and all the sudden they are disgusting. It is true. Keep working on the you that you want to be inside and out and people will notice the good that comes from you, whether it is at first glance or not.
Casey - woohoo your on the Wii Fit Bandwagon!!!

Laufas last blog post..Cut the cost and spin with me!

[Reply to this Comment]
Sprite's Keeper
on February 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 am
3
I wish big hair was back too. Then my frizz may just get a pass..
Great post! And you’re right. Perception really can make or break you.

Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Totally Randomized Tuesday- You know where this is going..

[Reply to this Comment]
Michelle
on February 2nd, 2009 at 9:17 am
4
It is amazing how we all do it, isn’t it. I remember thinking I looked AWFUL in high school. Now I look at those pictures and think, what on earth was wrong with my body then that i could think I looked bad???
Great job on the walking, I hope you don’t have to do it in a blizzard though!

Michelles last blog post..Boy Do I Ever Suck at Exercising… (I’m sure this is HASAY worthy)

[Reply to this Comment]
GreenJello
on February 2nd, 2009 at 9:44 am
5
No, definitely not hideous! You had awesome big hair, and regardless of what the high school bozos told you, you were PRETTY. They were just jealous.

GreenJellos last blog post..Lu’s Room

[Reply to this Comment]
Keely
on February 2nd, 2009 at 9:47 am
6
Yep, I look back at my (skinnier than now) former self and I want to slap her upside the head for ever thinking she was fat or ugly. Perception is easily manipulated by everyone but yourself.

Also, fantastic point on hunger being the ‘go-to’ emotion. I never thought of it that way, but it’s absolutely true, it’s easier to distract yourself with eating than confront the actual emotion you’re feeling.

Keelys last blog post..The book of Exercis, Chapter 15, Verse 2

[Reply to this Comment]
Sarah
on February 2nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
7
That was a great post!!

[Reply to this Comment]
jen
on February 2nd, 2009 at 4:43 pm
8
and i think it’s the perception from my girly-girls that hits me the hardest right now.
they don’t notice the weight … they just notice if i’m up and dancing with them or running in the yard or racing around the house like a crazy.

jens last blog post..a first’s birth story.

[Reply to this Comment]
Heather
on February 2nd, 2009 at 6:27 pm
9
What do I need??? NOT for 80’s hair to come back into style!!! Holy crap…I can’t believe we did this to ourselves!!!
Good luck with the walking everyday!!!

Heathers last blog post..Some lace and paper flowers

[Reply to this Comment]
FoN
on February 2nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
10
That post was fabulous and extremely accurate. You’re my Oprah now ’cause you pretty much nailed it!

I remember as a teen insisting on wearing a t-shirt over my bathing suit because I thought I looked so gross in it. I was 5′6 and 120 pounds. Perception indeed.

FoNs last blog post..Fat Chick vs. Food - Week 5

[Reply to this Comment]
mrsbear
on February 2nd, 2009 at 7:51 pm
11
I love the photo, the hair looks like it took hours to perfect. I also wasted a lot of time during those early years battling insecurity, some of it has stuck with me too. Although I like to think my perception has changed, I don’t think it has as much as I want to believe.

mrsbears last blog post..The Good, The Bad, The Hungry - HASAY

[Reply to this Comment]
Kia (Good Enough Mama)
on February 2nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
12
Beautifully said. Love it. All of it. And to answer your question, what I need is a good swift kick in the ass. I gave myself one last week and I think I’m due again. Any takers? NO, CASEY, not you!

[Reply to this Comment]
Stacy
on February 2nd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
13
What a great post! Perception really is a tricky thing…and people teasing you when you’re young (like the bully girl who used to tease me in 6th grade) sticks with you… You are beautiful!
Stacys last blog post..Groundhog Day…In the News…the Results are in!

[Reply to this Comment]
carrie
on February 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 pm
14
I am so behind. I will try ot post tomorrow.

carries last blog post..Nuf Said Again…….

[Reply to this Comment]
Lydia @ On The Verge
on February 2nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
15
That was a wonderfully written post. I do miss my big hair, though.

Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..Not Me Monday

[Reply to this Comment]
“24″ … A Hasay Tale of Woe « Buzzin’ By . . . with thoughts on the fly
on February 3rd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
16
[...] if you’re new here and are wondering “What in the world is Hasay - just click HERE to find out and maybe even join in the fun serious [...]
Katie
on February 3rd, 2009 at 5:39 pm
17
That is an awesome post.

Katies last blog post..Isn’t it Ironic?

[Reply to this Comment]
Wacky Wednesday Wheeeee! « Good Enough Mama
on February 5th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
18
[...] something nasty about me. Go ahead. I never read the comments. Nev-ah. And wait. Her club is called Half As Small As You. Doesn’t that translate to mean Twice As Big As You? If that’s the case, I [...]