The other day I passed my mailman and he had his finger up his nose. I’m talking two-knuckle deep. Now my mail is tainted. Crap.

Are we the only couple who blow past that “recommended serving size” thing and go for the gold? We always buy the “Family Sized” meals and then the two of us finish it.

Elliot has recently decided that ten minutes is the longest she’s willing to sit in her high chair. Because of this, we have to sing and clap and do anything in our power to keep her entertained for a few more minutes until bath time. Her favorite song? O Canada. I shit you not. Jamie and I sing that damn song in its entirety at least three times per meal. Sometimes we sing the National Anthem but she’s just not that into it.

Last week at the dentist, I could hear his stomach churning the entire time he was working on my teeth. I’m pretty sure his morning coffee was about to kick in but we (he, the hygienist and I) all pretended that we didn’t hear anything.

A bird shit on my car a few weeks back but I’m too lazy to clean it.

We’re going to see The Eagles on Thursday night. Does anyone want to babysit or do you think the kids would be ok here alone? I’m kidding, we have a very nice sitter coming over to listen to Graham scream.

The Eagles were not the birds responsible for shitting on my car

Have you seen this site? Am I the only one who can laugh my ass off and watch it for hours?

Today when I got a soda from McD’s (stop judging), the soda machine was out and they poured it from a warm two-liter. I have soda at home and only went there for their super addictive fountain blend. I got mad, but not mad enough to demand a refund. I drove to the next McDonalds and poured the crap-juice out and got a real drink. I didn’t pay almost $3 for a soda for them to gyp me like that. Assholes.

Is it wrong that I’m writing my Tuesday thoughts on Monday night? They’re still random, I’m just delaying the publishing.

Looking to join the randomness? Look no further, click over to Keely’s place now.

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32 Comments

  1. WickedStepMom
    on
    1

    I love fountain soda too. Its soo much better. I think I am going to get a fountain machine for at home. πŸ™‚

    WickedStepMoms last blog post..How Fortunate

  2. Shangrila
    on
    2

    Casey, you never fail to make me smile! Zombo.com is awesome! (My middle kid, perched at my side, kept asking, “Can I do something on Zombo.com?” which only made me laugh harder. Poor kid.) I would never judge you for getting soda at McDonald’s. Hell, I get soda through the drive-thru automatically if I’m out of it at home. Their large is plenty for the day, and it beats dragging two cranky boys into the grocery store for 1 item and leaving with $50.00 worth of sh** I don’t need. Srsly, only a sadist would expect parents to get through the day without the benefit of caffeine.

    Shangrilas last blog post..Spin Cycle-Rhyme Time

  3. FoN
    on
    3

    That link was hilarious. Next time my three year old is pitching a fit I’m going put her in front of that. I’m not sure what makes me think it would work, but I think it might.

    Tell Elliot I’m very proud she loves O Canada so much. I can teach you ‘God Save the Queen’ too if you think that will help.

    FoNs last blog post..Random Tuesday Thought day – for KEELY!

  4. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    4

    O Canada? What? No Wheels on the bus? Or Mr. Sun? You pick the maple leaf’s favorite tune?

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..The Randomness of Being

  5. Keely
    on
    5

    Elliot sounds like she has her priorities in order. a) Don’t fence me in, people and b)Canada rocks.

    Keelys last blog post..The skinny, the poop: in other news…Random Tuesday Thoughts

  6. Sarah
    on
    6

    My kid liked Baby’s Got Back. I love the name Elliot for a girl! And I just found out my hot mailman is gay…so sad well for the women out there

    Sarahs last blog post..Random Thoughts Tuesday

  7. Jonny's Mommy
    on
    7

    Glad you found someone to listen to Graham scream. What the heck with the soda out of a 2-liter? That’s lame!

    And I also wrote my random post on Monday, but it won’t go up until later on today.

    Sorry about the mail. Brings a whole new meaning to “junk mail” huh?

    Jonny’s Mommys last blog post..Random small town silliness

  8. K
    on
    8

    I loved the website. Now I feel I can do anything… and I feel very welcomed. Not a bad way to feel on a snowy Tuesday.

    Foundation soda is the best.

    Ks last blog post..Beautiful Woman

  9. Julie@Cool Mom Guide
    on
    9

    The Eagles will be the best concert you’ve ever been to. It was for me! My dad LOVES them and told me my whole life he hates that he’d never seen them live. Then came the ‘Hell Freezes Over’ tour. I surprised him with tickets for the 2 of us and BAWLED my eyes out when they sang Desperado. That was probably the highlight of my youth. Have fun! Drop the kids here, I’ll watch ’em! I’m only about 12 hours away!

    Julie@Cool Mom Guides last blog post..The Day One Clue for the Wii Fit Mommies Forum Hunt!

  10. Heather
    on
    10

    THIS IS ZOMBO COM!!! Funny shit!!!
    Oh, and I need my daily “fountain” drink too!!! But, I’m a Pepsi girl…coke sucks ass!!!

    Heathers last blog post..Random B****y thoughts….

  11. Debateur
    on
    11

    Guess I’m up for worlds worst Mom award. My daughter eats lunch at McD’s every Saturday between music and piano.

    I must also say thank-you for the kind words you left on my blog yesterday. I am very scared right now and it’s so nice to know that I have friends to lean on during this difficult time. You’re the best.

    Debateurs last blog post..How old is too old ?

  12. Cameron
    on
    12

    Hey, I had bird shit on my car too, but the road salt would keep hazing over the windshield so I finally had to clean it.

    Camerons last blog post..Watch Out For Your Cornhole

  13. Michelle
    on
    13

    “Recommended serving size” is just a way for them to get a decent fat/calorie count on the nutritional info on the box. If they actually put a realistic serving size, no one would buy it.

    AWWWW! See, she wants you to move here! ::salutes Elliot::

    And yeah, I don’t know if I could ever touch my mail again after seeing that. I might have to spray it down first… ::shudder::

    Michelles last blog post..Munsch Giveaway: Family Literacy Day!

  14. mrsbear
    on
    14

    Zombo just told me the unattainable was possible. I’m on it.

    Why do you know the entire Canadian anthem? Just curious.

    Oh and ew on the postal guy, another reason to use rubber gloves when you open your mail. πŸ˜‰

    mrsbears last blog post..With PMS on the Side – Tuesday Randomness

  15. Leslie
    on
    15

    Aheemm…la la la la…. “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light my head grew heavy and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night there she stood in the doorway; I heard the mission bell and I was thinking to myself, ‘This could be Heaven or this could be Hell’
    Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way there were voices down the corridor,
    I thought I heard them say…

    WELCOME TO HOTEL CALIFORNIA!!!!

    Oh – sorry about that – I kind of got carried away and forgot where I was. Okay – so I’m very jealous that you get to go to a concert like that. Wow.

    And I feel your pain – my little one wants out of his chait 10 minutes into dinner too. I barely have enough time to sit down and swallow two bites before he starts freaking out. Maybe I should try singing some Eagles songs to him. No?

    Oh and for Chirst sake’s clean the bird shit off of you car! Blahhh! :)l

    Leslies last blog post..Jumping on the Wagon

  16. Stacy
    on
    16

    Love your randomness! Thanks for the link to that site…I laughed my butt off, too! πŸ˜‰ I like how FoN is going to use it as a ‘time out’ method for her 3 year old…I think Princess Nagger will be in for a surprise on her next time out! Bet it’ll work wonders! (smirk, smirk!) Coke out of a 2-liter bottle and not the fountain? They should have just given you the whole stinkin’ bottle for the price they charge for coke! I would have done the same as you…dumped it out and bought one at another McD’s – there is something about coke from a fountain vs. bottle… πŸ˜‰ Oh, and you’re not alone – I always buy the ‘Family Size’ stuff and the 2-1/2 of us eat it all…of course hubby eats like 2 whole people – I think he has hollow legs and I sure hope the Princess Nagger gets his fast metabolism instead of my snail-pace metabolism! πŸ˜‰ Great post! Happy Random Tuesday! πŸ˜‰

    Stacys last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts Snow News

  17. shonda
    on
    17

    I love the Eagles, the non-shitting-on-your-windshield Eagles. Have fun!

    shondas last blog post..All My Bags Are Pack And I’m Ready To Go

  18. Captain Dumbass
    on
    18

    Thank you for the church of Zombo. You guys got half the entrance exam down for citizenship if you’re ever interested.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Random Tuesday And Grilled Cheese S*x

  19. Michele
    on
    19

    The mailman….Ewwww.

    You know I sit for you but the drive over would suck. Have fun at the Eagle’s concert. Graham is almost old enough to go with you. Noah was 5 when we took him to see Genesis.

    Micheles last blog post..Momento Monday – News

  20. Krystal
    on
    20

    okay, is it me or is there nothing on zombo.com except a man saying random things of “inspiration”. All i saw was a blank screen with the words zombo.com and the random voice with random sayings

    Krystals last blog post..A wedding that was not planned

  21. Kia (Good Enough Mama)
    on
    21

    o canada, huh? the kid’s got great taste. as for your mailman? maybe you should leave a box of kleenex for him in your mailbox?

  22. The Stiletto Mom
    on
    22

    O Canada????? *snicker*

    I think I am in love with Elliot. But not your mailman or your dentist.

    The Stiletto Moms last blog post..Ice Storm! In Texas! Really!

  23. Christy
    on
    23

    O Canada? I’m glad my kids weren’t into that one–I don’t know it…I saw the Eagles a few years ago–it was awesome! I couldn’t believe how many songs I knew but never knew they were by the Eagles. Have fun & good for you for getting a babysitter–I’m sure she’ll be great at listening to him scream!

  24. jessica Bern
    on
    24

    eww to the mailman nose picker. Love that “elephant” in the stomach with your dentist. You’ve a day/week of poo related life stories that is for sure.

    I’ve had many a temporary crown (13 root canals in my life) thanks very much and never got bitten either.

  25. GreenJello
    on
    25

    I once waited too long to clean bird shit off my car, and it ate into the shiny coat of paint. So now I have a permanent bird shit mark on the car.

    GreenJellos last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  26. Debbie
    on
    26

    All I get on the Zombo page is a brightly colored Zombo header. That’s it. And if THAT’S what you looking at for hours and laughing, then my dear, we need to get you some help.

    I went to McDonalds last week … hadn’t been there in years and years, but their Southern chicken sandwich is good and their sweet iced tea is tolerable. Anyway, they had a sign up saying the only drinks they had available that day were …. blah, blah (they list EVERY single drink they offer, except for coke and diet coke.) Why didn’t they just say we’re out of coke and diet coke? I don’t know.

    Debbies last blog post..Snow Day

  27. cyndi
    on
    27

    it’s nice to hear that recommended servings aren’t *actual* servings at your house, either. Post-stomach problems is the closest I’ve ever come to that appetite…I’m trying to maintain it, but some stuff must have been sized solely to meet some cutoff of sugar, imho! I can totally relate to the fountain soda hunt – I’ve been known to drive about 20 miles in a needy moment myself :blush:

    cyndis last blog post..They came in by twosie, twosies

  28. Ryan
    on
    28

    Random thoughts are great because they are the most honest ones. I like it!

    Ryans last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  29. Laufa
    on
    29

    What’s up with that site, is it made for people with low self esteem about their own websites. I don’t get it. The voice is funny though, he keeps changing his tone. “You can do anything!”

    Laufas last blog post..Snow Gnome!

  30. carrie
    on
    30

    You are soooo addicted to soda!!! Dentist……. they scare the crap out of me, literally.

    carries last blog post..Random Thoughts – Science Style

  31. Katie
    on
    31

    I went to the dentist too! Maybe all those sodas I drank were not the best idea b/c I have 3 cavities.

    Katies last blog post..Insane, got no brain.

  32. Toni
    on
    32

    We are so the same way on recommended servings!

    The McDonald coke thing made me laugh out loud. Thank goodness I didn’t have anything in my mouth it would have ended up all over my husband’s work laptop!!!

    Tonis last blog post..

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