January 21, 2009 7:00 am
This week’s Spin Cycle is to write a poem. I’m not a poet, so bear with me. I’ve chosen to write about something near and dear to my heart, sleep.
While pregnant with Graham, people offered advice.
I didn’t give a damn, but I tried to be nice.
One coworker told me to keep the house loud
If I did, the kid could sleep through a mushroom cloud.
That one made sense so I followed his words.
We’d rock out and dance, it was rather absurd.
My beautiful kids could sleep through it all.
Through fireworks, sirens, more things I can’t recall.
One day my poor Graham went under the knife.
I had no idea how much that would change my life.
My former great sleeper was no longer so.
Every night at bedtime, a tantrum he’d throw.
He’d scream and fuss and fight sleep all night,
We knew that something just wasn’t right.
The doctors don’t know what’s causing the fuss,
We’re helpless since they threw us under the bus.
We’ve tried every option, exhausted them all,
I’ve even consulted my magic eight ball.
Three or four hours is all that he’ll sleep
So we tiptoe around, afraid to make a peep.
It has gotten so bad that I can’t even blog
The noise is too much, as is the dog.
My solution has been to go far away
By doing so, I hope that asleep he will stay.
Now the garage is my office, the skeeters do bite
But that’s where I’m banished to every night.
There is no more TV time or even a shower,
For fear we’ll wake Graham after only an hour.
The toilets can’t flush, because of the bellow,
Until morning the water just has to stay yellow.
The other night Jamie went pee in the yard,
Who knew raising kids would be so damn hard.
Tags: Spin Cycle