What a weekend. Graham is doing about the same, still refusing to drink ANYTHING so we’re still having to force liquids into him. Saturday night was spent at the after hours pediatrics place getting IV fluids pumped into him since he had gotten dehydrated. Not a fun way to spend his birthday (yes, his actual birthday was on Saturday). Today, he managed to eat a few bites of mac-n-cheese and some applesauce so it’s something. Enough of the depressing stuff, onto funnier things.

Today’s guest poster is Katie from Stray Raisins and Other Mommy Perks. If you haven’t stopped by Katie’s site yet, she’s worth the read. Katie is another potty-mouthed version of me but she’s girly, whereas I’m a big fat tomboy. She’s witty and sarcastic and everything I love in a fellow blogger. Katie has also been unofficially supporting (and once in awhile mocking) our HASAY progress since the club’s inception and today’s post is no different. Thanks for being there for us Katie!

When Casey asked me to guest post after she found out about Graham’s surgical hat trick, I had a minor heart attack. Not only is this my first guest post, but it’s on a blog that people actually read.  Half as Good as You, home of HASAY and the hardest working blogger south of the Mason Dixon.  That sounds absurd coming from someone who grew up in New Jersey.

But, if I’m not invited to the hospital, than holding down the blog-fort is the next best thing.  It’s worth the globby ball of plaque floating through my arteries right now, looking for a nice vital place to stick,  because I sympathize with little Grahamburger.  While I’ve never had tubes put in my ears, my adenoids out, or a tonsillectomy, I have had two C-Sections and one helluva stinging episiotomy – not that it’s a competition or anything (but if it was I’d totally win.  It doesn’t take 21 hours to push a tonsil out).  Clearly the plaque just found it’s new home in my brain.

And speaking of competitions, I have something to confess.  I never joined HASAY.  Believe me people, it’s for your own good.  How can I be trusted to be a companion in the weight loss crusade when this was my week:


a. Attend lovely cookie exchange party on Wednesday evening.  Remark about how beautiful all the cookies look and compliment each partygoer on how awesome her cookies are.

b. Drink a bit too much punch and end up taking home a giant tinful of cookies from the party

c. Wake up feeling slightly queasy from the night before and understandably, the only cure must be to eat some cookies with my morning coffee
d. Have cookies for lunch
e. Have cookies for dinner

f. Eat the very last of the cookies for breakfast and breathe a sigh of relief because now I can start fresh on losing that last 10 pounds without the cookies calling me back to the kitchen.
g. Go get the mail, and find that I’ve received TWO boxes of cookies as gifts.  Shit.

This pretty much sums up the last 10 years for me. It’s also the reason why I religiously haul my carcass down to the basement and crank out a few miles on the treadmill each morning while little Ella takes her nap. I hate it. Stupid ice cream cheesecake cookies.

See?  You don’t want me as your support system.  You’ll call me up to see if I want to go for a jog, and my voice will be all muffled, and you’ll say, “Are you eating cookies?”, and I’ll say “Noh, ah sweah to Gah, es carruts”.

On the other hand, I make a damn fine bathing suit shopping companion.  I will always tell you how small that string bikini makes your ass look, and how the flourescent lights really flatter your skin tone, NO MATTER WHAT.  There’s enough pain in the world, who needs honest friends?

Graham, I hope you feel better soon, little buddy. Casey, I hope you get a good nights sleep in 2009, and in the words of the other cookie addict, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

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  1. Michelle

    You should see how many cookies I got this year. Cra-zy.

    Michelles last blog post..Happy Chanukah!

  2. carrie

    Dude, it is after midnight and I am still not first!

    carries last blog post..Being Inappropriate @ Target

  3. carrie

    I hope Graham is out of the woods.

    carries last blog post..Being Inappropriate @ Target

  4. Leslie

    Katie – great first guest post! Loved it – probably because it sounded so DAMN FAMILIAR! DAMN cookies.

    Casey – I have been thinking about you and Graham. I have wanted to stop by more often but I haven’t had a chance. And thanks for asking about Dane – his surgery had to be rescheduled because of the snow/ice storm out here that still has us nailed down. I am hoping to get some pics and a post up soon – but we have dial up – yes, dial up. Stop laughing! so uploading pics takes FOREVER so I am hoping to get to work soon and do it from there.

    Anyway, I hope Graham feels better soon -I swear that once he gets over the hump he’s going to feel awesome and be back to his normal self! Hang in there!!!

    Leslies last blog post..Spin Cycle – In the Beginning

  5. cyndi

    Oh, feel better soonest, Graham! Happy belated birthday – I bet you have one rocking celebration once you’re feeling better <3

    cyndis last blog post..Some gingerbread, a candy cane

  6. Rikki

    Katie – I totally feel your pain although it feels, um, strange to not have ella snugged up atop your post! As a teacher, we get hazard-duty pay during the holidays since the kids bring in so many cookies, cupcakes, and candies! Maybe I should add one more exclamation point!

    Hang in there Graham, and feel better soon.

    Rikkis last blog post..Good Thing I Didn’t Have a Dyson When My Mom Died

  7. feener

    sending my best to you and G.

    feeners last blog post..longest day

  8. Keely

    omg it’s so true. Cookies, those little fuckers.
    Well, and their friend fudge. And those Turtles that stopped by for a visit and just never left.

    I hate Christmas.

    Keelys last blog post..A list of things I may consider possibly resolving to do in the New Year. If I feel like it.

  9. DeeMarie

    Katie, please send me some cookies. It’s for your own good… and my tummy.

    Hope Graham is doing better!!!!!!

    DeeMaries last blog post..It’s SHOCKING!!!!

  10. Sprite's Keeper

    Great post, Katie! I needed a smile just now and you completely made it happen. Thank you!

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Tampering With Tradition

  11. Lydia @ On The Verge

    I hope today is a better day for all of you. No pressure. When you are up to it come over and grab the award I gave you today.

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..The Hardest Weekend Of The Year

  12. Kristy

    Oh my…i really hope he feels better soon! Take care, have a great christmas!

    Kristys last blog post..Meet Logan

  13. Michele

    Yah, I was on a bit of a cookie binge myself. Except I was making & tasting. It’s a public service.

    Micheles last blog post..Christmas Baking and Frugal Recipe

  14. Sammanthia

    Awesome post (you have the best guest posters)!
    Happy Belated Birthday, Graham… I hope you feel better soon!!!

    Sammanthias last blog post..Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Wear Sweatpants And Go Without Make-Up *BAM*!!!… You’re Memed

  15. jessica Bern

    Love it. You finish the cookies, wipe your brow, open the door and TADA more cookies!!! Hilarious.

  16. Petra

    Awesome post, SO funny! I made the mistake of deciding to make cookies and fudge as part of my gift to my family members, but unfortunately I have eaten all my gifts so far and have to start over.

    Willpower, where are you???

    Petras last blog post..History is Made: The First He Blogs, She Blogs

  17. HeatherPride

    Oh my gosh, I can’t resist a Christmas cookie!! And I’m totally calling you the next time I go swimsuit shopping. That’s just something no one should be allowed to see, but since you volunteered….

    Casey – I hope Graham is feeling better! Poor little guy.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..The Short Bus 1st Annual Bah Humbug Awards

  18. Krystal

    AWW Coookies …MMM…YUMMMM

    Krystals last blog post..Kids – Can’t live with em, Can’t get rid of em!

  19. The Stiletto Mom

    There is nothing better in the world than cookies…Graham, feel better soon little friend!!! Now I’m off to find some sweets. 🙂

    The Stiletto Moms last blog post..Apparently It Runs In The Family

  20. Christy

    Casey–I’m sorry Graham is still not doing so well…I hope you all are able to get some rest ASAP. Happy (belated) B-day too!

    Katie–so let me get this straight…cookies are NOT part of the HASAY plan? I guess I’ve been doing it all wrong!

  21. Sue

    Hope your little one is better…good luck through the holidays… And Katie – great post, as usual. I’m cracking up and also now thanks to you, craving cookies. Damn it.

    Sues last blog post..What Kind Of Mother Am I?

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