December 11, 2008 7:00 am
If I had to pick a theme for my blog posts from the last few weeks, it would be something like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!” You’ve heard me bitch and complain about how sick I am, how tired I am, how sick the kids are and how sick and tired OF the kids I am. It’s gotten old and I’m sorry for that.
Graham has had back to back ear infections for about the last five months. We finally got in to see the ENT last Friday to see if he needed to have tubes put in. The answer: Yes, he needs them ASAP since his ears are so bad and antibiotics are a joke to them. He also needs his adenoids and tonsils taken out in the process. We’ve got the trifecta surgery scheduled for next Wednesday. Going into the appointment, I was hesitant about whether I’d want to put tubes in should they recommend it. So many people I’ve talked to said it’s the best thing ever since it completely solved the ear infection issue. Then the dude kept adding procedures and my head was spinning. I told him he just “Supersized my kid’s sugery in a matter of seconds.” He laughed politely and said they’d book it for a week from Wednesday.
Ever since last week’s appointment, I’ve been a wreck. I keep thinking about the risks of anesthesia, and what the worst case scenario is (death?!?). I’ll be driving down the road and think about it and my eyes will well up with tears. It’s not good. I’ve got another week’s worth of freaking out to do before the surgery is done and over with. I know I’m nuts to think like this but I just can’t help it! Last night, I made the mistake of watching a tonsillectomy video. I quickly shut my laptop a few seconds in and tried to forget what I had just watched.
The silver lining is that I’m going to get my kid back. Graham will no longer be in pain 24/7 and will hopefully return to the happy kid we once knew. He failed the pressure test in both ears and the doctor said his hearing is most likely distorted, which explains why his speech is slightly lagging. They think it will improve his temperament, hearing, sleep and speech. I can’t wait. Although we’ve seen glimpses of the old Graham, his ear-ache-having self has been moody and angry and sometimes downright unpleasant. I know it’s the ears talking but it’s been hard the past few months. Lately, I’ve even been hesitant to discipline TOO harshly since I know he’s just lashing out from feeling like shit. I get pissy when my head feels like it’s in a vice and I can’t blame the kid for doing the same.
So next Wednesday, I’m going to step away from the blog for a bit. I’m lining up some fabulous guest posters in my absence and I’m sure you’ll show them the same lack of respect you show me. The doctor said that because of the tonsillectomy, we’re in for a hellish two weeks following the surgery. Poor Graham will have to suffer through his birthday (the 20th) and Xmas, all the while feeling like crap. Once my baby boy is through all of the healing, I’ll be back on my game. Wish us luck, people.