Spin Cycle: Impressions : Half As Good As You - Leaving the working world to raise kids

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<div id="content"> <div id="contentmiddle"> <div class="contenttitle"> <h1><a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?p=236" rel="bookmark">Spin Cycle: Impressions</a></h1> <p>September 7, 2008 2:34 pm </p> </div> <p>I’m attempting to join the weekly Spin Cycle crew over at <a href="http://www.spriteskeeper.com/my_weblog/">Sprite’s Keeper</a>. Here is my take on this week’s topic: Impressions. WARNING: I’m showing my serious side here so don’t be afraid. My smartass self will be back by later.<br /> —————————————————————————————————————<br /> I never got a chance to meet my mother-in-law. My kids will never get to know their Grandma. She died suddenly in April of 1999, four years before I fell in love with her son. Jamie was twenty-six at the time, he was living here in FL and his mom was back home in PA. They were very close and I know it really shattered Jamie to lose his mom. </p> <p>When we first started dating, I used to ask Jamie all sorts of questions about his mother. What made her laugh? What music did she like, what did they have in common? Do you remember what her voice sounded like? Up until that point, I had never known anyone who had lost a parent. I secretly wondered if she would have liked me and approved of me for her son. I’ll never know the answer to that question, but since Jamie and I make each other completely happy, I’m hoping yes. Jamie was patient with me and answered all of my questions, but he’s a guy…. his details were lacking. If you don’t know what I mean, watch any guy you know have a thirty minute phone conversation and then ask them what they talked about. “I dunno, just stuff.” There are never enough details to satisfy.</p> <p>On our wedding day, I longed for Jamie’s mom to be there. It hurt me that it hurt him not having her there on one of the happiest days of his life. When we had our children, it was even harder. Here are these two incredible beings that we brought into the world and Jamie will never get to share that joy with his mom. I often think about ways to keep her memory alive for our kids. I put up her picture in their rooms. I show Graham pictures of his Grandma and tell him who she is. When the kids are older, we’ll make sure we tell them all about her. </p> <p>Jamie is such an awesome person, he loves us with everything he has. We share inside jokes and make each other laugh. He puts me down for a nap with the kids when he thinks I look worn out. He cooks and cleans and does at least fifty percent of the parenting, something a lot of guys don’t. He grocery shops, he dances with Graham, he’s super silly and fun and smart and everything I could ever ask for. He encouraged me to start this blog and gets just as excited as I do when a stranger comments for the first time. It pisses me off that someone so great has to go through life without his mom and that his wife and kids will never get to know her. </p> <p>I’ve recently come to realize that I <em>do</em> know her though. I know her through Jamie and his actions. I see what an amazing father and awesome person he is and know that it’s all because of her. I know that she used to watch Star Trek with Jamie and she listened to Alanis Morisette. I know that she loved her kids so much and that she single-handedly produced the most awesome human being I’ve ever known. So, although I never got to meet her, the woman has left quite an impression on me. For that, I am eternally grateful. </p>  <p>Tags: <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?tag=jamie" rel="tag">Jamie</a>, <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?tag=spin-cycle" rel="tag">Spin Cycle</a> </p> <h4><p id="comments">7 Comments</p></h4>  <div id="commentblock"> <ol class="commentlist"> <li class="alt" id="comment-48"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/b3ef26a3c80ea598ab71aaad62dda01a?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://www' rel='external nofollow'>Sprite's Keeper</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-48" title="">September 7th, 2008 at 7:25 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 1</span> <p>Absolutely amazing. Perfectly done, Casey! What a wonderful spin and I’m very glad you’re joining the Spin Cycle! I’m linking you to the others now and you’ll be linked again on Friday. I hope this gets you some exposure (whatever little my blog can offer?) so others can discover you as well. You’ve got great stuff here!</p> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-49"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/aad5686a051f09fdd1bf4b4f46c260ca?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://www.spyroufamily.blogs.com' rel='external nofollow'>Miss Jack</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-49" title="">September 7th, 2008 at 10:09 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 2</span> <p>Well, you certainly know how to make a person cry. That was beautiful. Thanks.</p> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-50"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/45011a552f75980f2090220c6dcf7e2b?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://outnumberedtwotoone.today.com' rel='external nofollow'>mrsbear</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-50" title="">September 8th, 2008 at 9:46 am</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 3</span> <p>That was really touching and beautifully written. What a wonderful tribute to your husband and his mom. Definitely worth putting your smart-ass side on the back burner for. <img src='http://halfasgoodasyou.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' /></p> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-52"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/155185e166b295a27f53d736a9b48459?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://harryjacksmom.blogspot.com/' rel='external nofollow'>Cyndi</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-52" title="">September 8th, 2008 at 4:34 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 4</span> <p>Hi Casey,</p> <p>What a wonderful post and a great tribute to your MIL. I also hope to help my children know parents and grands that are no longer with us, and I think your realization about Jamie being her lasting impression reminds us all to cherish the moments we have and build those we miss into our lives in special ways. Thank you! I look forward to reading the more and less-typical <img src='http://halfasgoodasyou.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /></p> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-55"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/92f35cece40f0715d538482953861d7a?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://zipntizzy.com' rel='external nofollow'>Zip n Tizzy</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-55" title="">September 8th, 2008 at 10:38 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 5</span> <p>I had goosebumps at the end. I also never got to meet either of my MIL. My husband’s mom died when he was five, and his stepmother died about 2 years before we met.<br /> I used to have many of the same questions, and yet, I too felt as though I knew both of them.<br /> I’m sad that I never got to meet either of them, but I feel the same way every day I watch my husband with our kids, and I’m grateful to them everyday as well because I too have a very involved husband and father to my children. We’re certainly blessed, and have some wonderful grandma’s watching over us.<br /> Lovely post.</p> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-74"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/91c6e97a87f77b22e621f84d35dab457?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://mommysescape.blogspot.com/' rel='external nofollow'>Krystal</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-74" title="">September 12th, 2008 at 1:01 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 6</span> <p>Truly beautiful. I never got the chance to meey Hubby’s dad, but like you, I see him every day in the actions of my husband.</p> <p>Thank you for sharing such an awesome and thoughtful story.</p> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-75"> <img alt='' src='http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/c961e2428010de09e57b18db7c380cd0?s=40&d=monsterid&r=R' class='avatar avatar-40' height='40' width='40' /><h6><a href='http://viewfromtheshortbus.blogspot.com' rel='external nofollow'>HeatherPride</a></h6>on <small class="commentmetadata"><a href="#comment-75" title="">September 12th, 2008 at 2:51 pm</a> </small> <div class="commenttext"> <span class="count"> 7</span> <p>Well, I was fortunate that I did get to meet my mother-in-law, but she was killed in a car accident when I was 8 months pregnant with our first child. It almost killed my husband to lose her. It certainly took a lot of the joy away from having our first baby - I couldn’t help but feel guilty about my parents being there in the hospital and his mom being gone. It is painful to see your spouse go through something like that. I wish you MIL could have known your children, too. I’m sure she would approve of you!</p> </div> </li> </ol> <h3 id="respond">Leave a Reply</h3></p> <p>You must be <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/wp-login.php?redirect_to=http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?p=236">logged in</a> to post a comment.</p></div> </div>  <div id="r_sidebar"> <ul id="r_sidebarwidgeted"> <li id="Search"> <h2>Search</h2> <form id="searchform" method="get" action="/index.php"> <input type="text" name="s" id="s" size="30" value=""/></form> </li> <li id="Subscribe"> <h2>Stay Current</h2> <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?page_id=629">Subscribe to Blog Updates via E-mail</a> <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?feed=rss2">Subscribe to the RSS Feed</a> </li> <li id="Contact"> <h2>Contact Me</h2> <a href="mailto:casey@halfasgoodasyou.com">casey@halfasgoodasyou.com</a> </li> <div id="r_sidebardotted"> <h3>About</h3> <a href="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/?page_id=19"> <img src="http://halfasgoodasyou.com/wp-content/themes/studiopressblack/images/author.gif" border="0" /> 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