Club Half As Small As You: Week 4

November 10, 2008 7:00 am

Hello again. We’ve made it to week four! I’m really proud of you guys for sticking it out this long, diet and exercise is never easy. Those of you who have continuously fallen off the wagon (I’m looking in the mirror here), it’s time to get with the program and take this thing seriously. No more excuses, just do it. My SIL leaves this morning so I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled bloggy self. Look forward to my heckling and ridicule because I really plan on bringing it this week. Hard core.

I’m honored to tell you that today’s guest blogger is none other than Sprite’s Keeper! If you don’t know Jen by now, she’s the famous keeper of Sprite AND the weekly Spin Cycle in which I participate. Jen (along with Mrs Bear) was one of the first people to ever comment on my blog. So what did I do in return? I immediately clicked over to her site and became an immediate stalker. I’m so glad I did too because I heart Jen, her storytelling is amazing and she’s just such a great person all around. Thanks for being you, Jen. After that intro, the violent story that follows may make you wonder but believe me, Jen is all talk.


I want to hurt him.

I don’t want to kill him, just take a few hairs off his head. (He has thick hair. He’ll never miss them.)

This weight loss thing is taking its toll on us. I should have known we would run into these issues. It’s happened before…

Early March, 2006. Bush Country. Correction: Dub-ya Country.

I had just won my office’s version of The Biggest Loser, having dropped 80 lbs and still going. John, who had been gaining weight and wasn’t happy with his own appearance and health, finally found the motivation to join me in battling the bulge. At first, he was off and on, then something inside him snapped. It was like he had an epiphany drop a 20 pounder on his head for he called me up and said he wasn’t going home that day. He was joining a gym.(And then coming home.) Before this enlightenment, we had been working out on the treadmill at home with a couple of free weights thrown in for good measure. But John decided this wasn’t motivating enough. He needed more. He needed more than me.

Two weeks into his gym experience, he transferred to another gym, a better gym that offered classes and nicer machines. John was now gung-ho and working out 6 days a week. Protein shakes started showing up in our fridge. Vitamins and supplements became a regular sight on the counter. His body changed. His way of thinking changed.

He brought me to one of his harder classes, kind of a total body workout thing, and the teacher was a major bad ass. (A bad ass we actually became friends with after.) This bad ass was 3 months pregnant herself, and pretty much doing every move except the obvious no’s, and harping on those of us (especially me since I was John’s wife, not one of her regulars, and John told her to) (but then she decided she liked me and went all commando on HIS ass, calling him out in front of everyone) (I fell in love with her a little that day..) who didn’t seem to be pulling their own weight.

I did my best in that class, at one point balancing my entire upper body on a balance ball with just my abdominal muscles while the teacher walked around yelling out, “This exercise is a BIG NO-NO for pregnant women!” I laughed at that, unaware that my own uterus was engaging in a chemistry lesson right at that moment. (Her little disclaimer had me worried later that I’d done something to the baby until the kid came out, and even now, every time she looks at me weird, I wonder if maybe…)

As soon as we found out we were pregnant, I grabbed the crackers, the forbidden carbohydrates I had not known in almost a year. I munched those things down quickly, opening the doors to more carbs, more sugar, more “It’s okay! I’m eating for two!” excuses. I did slam the door in the face of muffins, but have apologized in court and elsewhere for that.

I started to gain weight. John kept losing.

Soon, I stopped exercising, focusing all my energy on the pregnancy and making sure I wasn’t hurting the baby. I gained more weight. John kept losing.

One morning, in my 28th week when morning sickness had JUST become a thing of the past, I went out to breakfast with John. He ordered a healthy breakfast of eggs, dry whole wheat toast, and fruit. I ordered pancakes. As I lifted the bite of hot goodness dripping with syrup to my lips, I caught John watching me. Pausing in my consumption of Oh My Wholy Hell I Must Have This Now, I shot him a look of What?”
“Are you sure you want to eat that?” he asked, his fork speared grape also paused in midair. His eyes stared pointedly at my food and then his.

THEN, I wanted to kill him. Now, I just want to hurt him.

I have lost 75 lbs since January. Hold your applause, please. In late August, I hit that mark and I have not dropped one pound since. I can’t for some reason. I eat exactly the same, exercise the same (an hour and a half on the treadmill, 5 miles per trek, 3-4 times a week) and yet the scale, she mocks me. (It has to be a she. I keep calling it a bitch.)

John has kept losing weight consistently since joining a new gym, Weight Watchers, and HASAY.

This last week, he lost a pound.

The only thing I lost was my cool.

My issue now is that I know what I’m doing. I know what I should and shouldn’t eat. I know about exercise and eating right and all the other things that come in weight loss. But John is constantly reminding me of the calories in what I’m consuming. He’s constantly telling me how hard he worked out at the gym. He wants me to feel the muscles in his arm to make sure they feel bigger or stronger. He is ALWAYS reminding me of how much weight he is losing and how his clothes are feeling more loose and people are starting to notice.

I am proud of him. Extremely. I love him very much and want him to succeed. But I want to succeed too and the fact that I’m working just as hard as he is and the scale isn’t budging for me at all (the bitch), I really want to hurt him.

Maybe a small flesh wound would be justifiable?


I started a HASAY mailing list this week. If you’re part of the club and didn’t get the emails (all fifty thousand of them), let me know and I’ll add you to the list. For those of you NOT participating in HASAY, be glad. Well, don’t be glad but be glad that your inbox didn’t take the beating mine did this week. I setup the mailing list, ran to pick up Graham and by the time I got back, I had about thirty emails from HASAY participants. The list is basically a bloggy STD. I will admit, I’ve enjoyed the heckling and idea sharing so I won’t unsubscribe myself from the list just yet (wait, I’m the admin on the list, I don’t think I CAN unsubscribe). I will say that I added Jamie as a test user and yesterday he turned to me and said “please, for the love of God, take me off of that f’ing mailing list”. I guess he didn’t appreciate the influx of emails like I did. Keep it up peeps, encourage away.

Here are the links to the participants. As I type this (Sunday night), I’m still in hiding but my SIL leaves tomorrow morning so I’ll get to updating the links with updates then. If you have an update that you’ve written this week, please post the link in the comments or email the HASAY mailing list. Thanks!

BTW, everyone PLEASE check out Christy from Heavy on the Caffeine. She’s been with HASAY since the beginning but somehow my idiot self left her off of the links and mailing list. Sorry Christy!

Christy from Heavy On The Caffeine
Sheilamaiden is from Dispatches From The Northern Outpost WEDNESDAY UPDATE here!.
Keely from The Un-MOM WEDNESDAY UPDATE here
Lisa from Boondock Ramblings 11/6 UPDATE here. TUESDAY UPDATE here!
Kristy at Mommy in Pink
Ali over at Aloicious: Life in the SLC SUNDAY UPDATE here.
Jen at Coconut Belly WEDNESDAY UPDATE here.
Kat at Mother Fonker MONDAY UPDATE here. Thurs Update HERE.
Heidi at The World According To Heidi
Kiki from Kiki’s Corner MONDAY UPDATE here.
Lindsay at Rock and Roll Mama
Laufa from Morgan Madness MONDAY UPDATE here.
DeeMarie from My Life In A Nutshell
Carrie from Colepack MONDAY UPDATE here.
Cellobella from Redsultana MONDAY UPDATE here.
Katie from Parental Supervision
Jenboglass from Steenky Bee WEDNESDAY UPDATE here.
Jen from Sprite’s Keeper SEE ABOVE GUEST POST!
Heather from Geez Louize!!! TUESDAY UPDATE here! Somebody’s getting married!!
Mrs Bear from Outnumbered Two To One MONDAY UPDATE here.
Debbie from Buzzin By … With Thoughts On The Fly MONDAY UPDATE here.
Beth from Drastic Measures MONDAY UPDATE here.
Elisa from Fairy Flutters WEDNESDAY UPDATE here!
Aaron from The Daddy Files
AnonyMOM from Simply AnonyMOM MONDAY UPDATE here.
Brenda from Seriously Mama 11/6 UPDATE here.
Cape Cod Gal from Diamond in the Rough THURSDAY UPDATE here.



  1. Laufa

    Guess I’m a rock and roll Mama too Lindsay and Casey. HaHa.

    Laufas last blog post..44 to go

  2. DeeMarie

    Great post, Jen! I wish you the best, and I guess maybe I wish safety for John.

    Casey- I didn’t do a post yet. I’m sick so I just jumped on to stalk my faves… I did lose 2 lbs though.

    DeeMaries last blog post..One Hundred…. How Did That Happen!?!?

  3. HeatherPride

    That Jen, she is amazing stuff! Good luck to all the HASAY players!

    HeatherPrides last blog post..Oh, Claire, You’ll Never Guess…

  4. Michele

    Jen: nice post. I too have a husband that loses weight but in his case he does it w/o trying. His diet is abysmal and he doesn’t work out but his job is very physical. It is ok to want to hurt him.

    Casey: nice to have you back.

    Micheles last blog post..Top 10 Ways I Relax

  5. Heather

    Jen, men suck!

    Heathers last blog post..Madness

  6. Debbie


    My husband eats like a pig and wears the same size years that he did 10 years ago. It’s SO unfair.

    Debbies last blog post..Hasay Monday Update

  7. Shieldmaiden1196

    I don’t know. Most of the pregnant women I’ve known would respond to “Are you sure you want to eat that” with “Are you sure that is where you’d like your scrotum to hang?”

    Shieldmaiden1196s last blog post..The Audacity of Soap

  8. goodfather

    Awesome post. Being a man, I will slowly back out of the room now… 😀

    goodfathers last blog post..Bedtime routine

  9. Cameron

    Even if you’re in a holding pattern, 75 pounds is pretty kick ass, isn’t it?

    Camerons last blog post..Some Bling

  10. KIrsten

    75lbs is AWESOME! Don’t get down on yourself everybody hits a plateau.

    Although, taking some of Jons flesh sound good, all it does is help him loose weight. You can’t

    Awww lets share a cyber salad and you can cry on my shoulder. ~grin~


    KIrstens last blog post..Meggers has legal representation…..

  11. carrie

    dude………… 75 is awesomesauce!

    carries last blog post..I Tried, I Promise…. (HASAY update and 10/30)

  12. Christy

    Jen–yeah–75lbs?! OMG! That’s awesome! I think you should hurt him though, big time.

    Casey–no big deal, really! i don’t feel like I officially started until last week anyway. I was sort-of dancing around it! LOL

  13. Sprite's Keeper

    Holy hell! I can comment! (I went through my own site.) Casey, my work may hate HASAY, but my blog LOVES you!
    Thanks for the comments, all. You’re right. 75 is nothing to bitch at (I said bitch on my own site today too. And nothing happened. Weird.), and I’m trying to be more supportive of John’s weight loss. In fact, I’ll make it my New Year’s Resolution. So, technically, I don’t have to say crap about it until then..

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..GIVE AWAY!!!!!

  14. Elisa

    Ok well tomorrow is a new day! I’m really trying to cut back on sugar. I didn’t do too badly today. I did make it to the gym and plan on going tomorrow. Didn’t update on the blog b/c I forgot. Ooops!

    Elisas last blog post..Picture Post

  15. Beth

    Bill’s bottom never changes, at all, thank God!

  16. Kat

    I think it is cause he is a guy, also if he was much larger than you when he started it also might be that, because heavier people lose weight quicker. Oh and if you kill him, make sure it looks like an accident, I don’t think they let you keep blogs in prison.

    Kats last blog post..Shhh…there are idiots among us!

  17. Lydia @ On The Verge

    I hope this is a super weight loss week for you!

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..A Dilemma Of The Cat Kind

  18. Katie

    Jen: Plateau’s stink. So do men’s metabolisms!! Stick with it & congrats on the 75 lbs!! That’s amazing.

    Even though I’m not officially in HASAY, I ran 4 times this week. To offset any progress I may have made, I made and ate an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies.

    Katies last blog post..Happy Birthday, Connor!

  19. mrsbear

    If you can shed 75 lbs, you can do anything. That’s so impressive. Try changing your workout a little, like everything else your body adapts and stops being challenged. Maybe some strength training mixed in. Just a thought. Don’t hurt your husband too badly, those muscles he’s sporting are burning fat even while he sleeps, kind of an unfair advantage, I’d say. 😉

    mrsbears last blog post..I’m Tellin Y’all It’s Sabotage – The HASAY Update

  20. Kristy

    Sorry my update is a day late…I maintained this week…didn’t lose, didn’t gain. I had a run in with the girl scout cookies this weekend…I just couldn’t say no to that sweet little girl at the door, so Yes…I ate like 2 boxes of thin mints…forgive me!

    Kristys last blog post..Tag Time…

  21. Lisa (jonny's Mommy)

    I told Hubby he can’t go on a diet. This is why.

    Lisa (jonny’s Mommy)s last blog post..Tales from Election Days Past

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