I’m Here But I’m Not

November 6, 2008 7:00 am

My sister-in-law is coming to visit on Thursday and staying for a long weekend. While I love her company, this trip is a bit of a conundrum since she doesn’t know about my blog. Awhile back, I mentioned starting a blog and she scoffed at me so I’ve never brought it up again. She has a busy life as an accountant with two not yet driving kids who she shuffles back and forth to activities and the thought of blogging seems like a waste of time to her. I get it, it’s not for everyone. Believe me, I spend a lot of time in the blogosphere and sometimes I think some of it could be better spent elsewhere. Like cleaning my bathroom or doing laundry, things that get ignored when you guys put up a new blog post. I’ve said before that I don’t write when my kids are awake so I spend my nights writing my posts and trying to catch up on my reader. Right now I’m drowning in HASAY, I love doing it but I’m definitely feeling the pressure to keep up.

I signed up for NaBloPoMo this month since I tend to post once a day and it didn’t seem like much of a challenge. Why not get a shiny banner for something I’m doing already? The problem lies in the fact that with my SIL here and my blogging incognito, I won’t be able to sneak away to think up witty topics to share with you. Or keep up with your posts, or heckle your HASAY butts into keeping with the program. See what I’m getting at? So it’s Monday night, election eve and I’m trying to write my posts for the rest of the week so that I can enjoy myself when my SIL is in town.

Tonight, I had an email talk with Steenky Bee about managing blogging and life. I find myself enjoying blogging less than I did just a few short months ago. I think it’s the pressure to keep up, to make everyone whose sites I read know that I appreciate them and I am reading. I feel pressured to keep posting daily when I have family in town and can’t really do “live” posts. I just reread this paragraph and it sounded a lot like whining. I don’t mean to whine, really. I love blogging but I’m just not sure how to find balance. I’m curious, how do you guys handle blogging and family? Have you ever found that you’re in too deep?



  1. denbie

    Ha! First!

  2. Debbie

    Ha Ha … I was so excited, I screwed up my own name.

    Now you have to wait until I get to work before I can really comment. 😛

    Debbies last blog post..A New Day in America

  3. MommyNamedApril

    i make a concerted effort not to take my self, or my blog too seriously. i also signed up for namlopopo, but if it doesn’t happen i won’t stress. have you considered using guest bloggers while you’re unable to fulfill your bloggy duties?

    MommyNamedAprils last blog post..How to Get Rich Blogging? Ask Miley Cyrus!

  4. DeeMarie

    I have found that I keep adding to my Reader and trying to comment on everyone’s was getting stressful. I just went through and removed a lot of the bigger blogs that I’ve lurked for a year but never commented. It’s reduced my reading time and I’m trying to only let myself go through blogs in the morning and after work, but it doesn’t always happen. Good luck and enjoy your time with your SIL!!

    DeeMaries last blog post..I Could…

  5. Laufa

    Write 3 or 4 posts tonight and pre-schedule them to post in the next couple days. They can be rediculous random topics. Blogging is supposed to be fun. Ask questions that are just silly. Then take a few days with your sister-in-law. Come back and you will have a ton of interesting comments to read and can catch up on Monday. Have fun!!

    Laufas last blog post.."Did you Wii standing up?"

  6. Cape Cod Gal

    I am totally addicted to blogging. I talk about my bloggy friends like they are actively participating in my everyday life and my husband and coworkers think I’m nuts! From the moment I walk into my house I am walking around with my laptop. I’m fully entrenched!

    Cape Cod Gals last blog post..And Good Mounds Bar To You Too!

  7. carrie

    Preaching to the choir and I still consider myself a newbie. I think it boils down to daily posts are just too much (at least for me). I will do it, as you are, since I committed this month but with the holidays, life is just way too busy. Reason being, I love to read my blog roll as well. I feel like I know you guys as good friends. As to my reader, Like DeeMarie, I went through and cut a few out that I never comment on and decided to add one. Adding one was painful but I have bee stalking StilettoMom for a while now and it is time to commit.
    Anyhoo….. Finding balance is an individual success or failure and I am struggling with it majorly. I think it would be easy if I did not have a bunch of TV shows I stalk with my DVR as well.
    I am thinking (I am hoping) many of my blogger friends will slow down around the holidays. If not, TV usually sports reruns and that will give me a little more time to read the blogroll and post.

    carries last blog post..Opps, I did it again…….. (6/30)

  8. Michele

    I’m with Laufa on this one; pre-blogging is the way to go. Then SIL doesn’t even need to know.

    Micheles last blog post..Tortured Art or how I can torture you with my art

  9. Tina

    My husband works out of town all week (M-F). So I post less on the weekends, less when he is in town or on vacation. Sometimes I will break open the laptop while he is surfing and post, but usually just read others during this time.

    I do have a little bit of withdrawal though.

    (so are you ditching us this weekend?) 🙂

    Tinas last blog post..Post Election Watercooler Conversations…First Grade Style

  10. Kat@MotherFonker

    Yeah, I’ve been wondering how you do it… Keeping up with everyone, plus graham and elliot! you are superhyperduper mom-dash-blogger.

    Case, blogging has to be fun, if it’s getting less fun and you’re mileage is up, maybe it’s become… addicting? ye gadz…

    This is exactly why I don’t subscribe to feeds, no matter how much I love your blogs. Drives me nuts. I MANUALLY go to each blog that I want to stalk. this way, i only do it when Im all prepped up to do it, not because it’s just there, easy to click. and these days i only walk around the hasay blogs… cuz 20+ is crazy enough for me.

    and also why i dont post everyday.

    nah im really just a slacker.

    and you’re just a genuine obsessive-compulsive gal.


    – – –

    Which reminds me, i came over since i received the notice about our mailing list and all I can say is (warning: this is in Filipino:)

    “Bongga!” (prounounced bong-gahh. roughly means, Grand! or Fabulous!)

    We’re so bongga/grand we’re branching out to more and more means to drive casey more nuts!

  11. Kat@MotherFonker

    ps. and when you’re tired, put motherfonker at the top of the list to postpone visiting… i dont blog everyday anyway.

    I’ll come over to visit and keep tabs with you, you tired old woman, you.

    (just a deceptive way to hide hasay updates on me. heehee)

    Kat@MotherFonkers last blog post..Some dialogue for teaching math at home

  12. goodfather

    Yup. I’m having the same inner dialog. I also signed up with BlowOnMyPoPo, but here’s the thing: the blogging-a-post-every-day thing isn’t hard, it’s the keep-up-with-everyone-in-my-reader thing. That’s hard. But I can’t seem to stop…

    I try to check everyone out in the morning before work, and late at night. Heh. Sometimes I check from work…

    goodfathers last blog post..Dear dooce®, part 2

  13. Shieldmaiden1196

    My $0.02

    My husband has about four blogs and since one of them is a reading blog, he is constantly involved in reading challenges and he writes a review of every book he reads. To me, its too much like work. Often I hear “I HAVE to write my post and then I HAVE TO blah blah blah” and I usually fight the overwhelming urge to walk into his office and kick the hard drive over and over until there is a hole in it.

    To be fair, I have three blogs myself, one for fun, one about weight loss, and one about being an EMT because one needs a literary landfill to put THAT stuff for one’s own mental health. But I don’t set assignments for myself; if I don’t have anything to write, I don’t write. As a result he has a large loyal following and I have a small loyal following. I was jealous until I realized that neither loyal following is paying my bills so who cares anyway. If I have time, good. If I don’t, it doesn’t get done. Do I find myself resenting his making it a relentless, obsessive priority?


    But at the same time, do I wish I had my own computer so I could blog more?


    Shieldmaiden1196s last blog post..The Audacity of Soap

  14. jenni

    I write when the small one is napping, and sometimes read when he’s playing at my feet, but that doesn’t work well since he generally wants me to play with him. I get a lot of reading done early AM, comment later in the day or in the evening when I can. I’ve been weeding through my reader lately though. I just can’t keep up.

    jennis last blog post..Random Bits #4

  15. Debbie

    Sometimes I take my Blackberry in the bathroom with me to read. Sometimes to be the first to comment. Sometimes I get excited and screw up my own name.


    And I wouldn’t DREAM of telling anyone that I know offline (except for Ginger) about my blog. Other people just don’t understand.

    And yes … it’s the reading and trying to leave comments with everyone that takes a lot of time. I just went through to downsize my blogroll a bit … and now it’s longer than it was before. Sigh. I don’t know how that happened. I need a full time job as blog poster/reader/commenter. Anyone know where I can get that job?

    And you post at the crack of dawn woman! Does your SIL get up that early?

    Debbies last blog post..A New Day in America

  16. L

    I too am at a breaking point. I do enjoy blogging but it has become work. I don’t want that. I started out to have some fun. Little did I know I would make great friends that I need to check on every day, get addicted to entrecard, respond to every comment on my blog and run my family. If you find a balance let me know. I am trying to figure out a good balance.

    Ls last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #9 – 13 Things Only Mom Can Do

  17. Lydia @ On The Verge

    oops! that last post was mine. I wasn’t trying to be like Prince! lol

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #9 – 13 Things Only Mom Can Do

  18. Heather

    I try and keep up. I’m new to blogging. Duh. But, I don’t let it stress me out.(well, sometimes I do) But, I only post in the morning and catch up with other blogs I like to read in the mornings. And if my kids let me….I try to catch up at night.
    Since, I still don’t have a dryer…Tuesdays are laundromat day. I write my post for Tuesday on Monday night. So, I agree with Laufa…just write some random stuff to post about while your SIL is visiting. Take it easy. Enjoy the weekend.

    Heathers last blog post..The date night drunk

  19. Jim

    It’s a rough balance sometimes. That’s one of the reasons that I didn’t sign up for NabloMe. I usually post every day, but I didn’t want to be forced to. I do it for fun. Well, truthfully, also to entertain others, ’cause I’m a whore like that. It’s okay to take a day off here and there. It’s also okay not to have to comment on every blog on your roll. We know you love us (well, ‘tolerate’ would be a better term in my case.) Don’t let yourself be pressured. Just enjoy.

  20. feener

    like a boob i started another blog… the good thing is there is no REAL pressure. i mean the world won’t end if i don’t do a post.

    feeners last blog post..You know it is going to be a long day….

  21. HeatherPride

    I have let myself feel pressured over blogging and I just have to make myself step back sometimes. I can’t post every day. Writing doesn’t come easily for me and sometimes it takes me a couple of hours to get my words down. So no way could I devote a couple of hours out of every day to my blog. Instead, I try to post 3-4 times a week. I do ok with that. Sometimes I have to reign it in a little.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..A Day Late and a Dollar Short

  22. Petra

    Oh yes, I DEFINITELY feel the pressure! I spend too much time blogging and worrying about whether or not I am commenting enough or reciprocating when someone comments on my blog. I know that I need to prioritize but I don’t want people to think that I am inconsiderate…it’s a fine line but at the end of the day, the people that matter (ahem, like ME) will love you and read your blog whether or not you post every day or respond to every comment. You need to take care of your “real” life first. We understand.


    Petras last blog post..Are You a Mommy or Did You EAT One?

  23. Katie

    I actually in awe of all you guys that manage to post every day, and keep up on everyone’s blogs….I totally ran out of time this week…ao that’s why no HASAY update this week. I was just thinking last night that I need to figure out a time management program for myself….maybe I could blog about it—2 birds with 1 stone!!

  24. Elisa

    Can’t you just let SIL think you’re checking emails?

    Also, don’t feel like you have to hit everyone’s everyday and leave a comment. It is great but it’s a lot of pressure. I know on days I do Wordless Wednesday or Half-Nekkid Thursday (lol!) a lot of people hit all the participants. I’ll be honest w/ ya. I don’t. And I don’t feel guilty. I hit a few and don’t worry about it. 😛

  25. steenky bee

    Sister, you know how where I stand on this. I have had to cut my posts down to about three per week. I try my hardest to comment every day, but the last three weeks my life has been hectic with work so I often don’t get to it in a timely manner. I try to turn off during the weekends though and just spend time with the family. I’m so intrigued that people in your family don’t know you blog. To, me, that is just fascinating. Honey, don’t stress yourself. I won’t kill you if you don’t visit me every day. I would maim you, but I wouldn’t kill you. 🙂 Also, I totally thought that ecard was a picture of a girl eating a huge banana. I was so confused and hungry.

  26. Sprite's Keeper

    Oh, sweetie, it’s such a hard line to cross between blogging and obsession. I like Laufa’s idea of questions for everyone and coming back on Monday to great answers! I also know you to a certain extent. You are a lot like me. When you commit, you commit until you need to be committed. Just find your balance and all will be right with the world. (Hint, I think you’ll like next week’s Spin.) 🙂

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..GIVE AWAY!!!!!

  27. Katie

    Of course I haven’t found a balance, that’s why my blog sucks ass.

    Katies last blog post..Happy Birthday, Connor!

  28. mrsbear

    Hope the visits going swell. Personally, I don’t have any answers, some days I feel like I put too much into it, other days I feel like my lack of participation affects my readership, then I wonder why it concerns me so much, then I’m suddenly worried people will stop reading. It’s an emotional roller-coaster, I swear. Balance? I haven’t found one, lemme in on any secrets you unearth. 😉

    mrsbears last blog post..Pretty Good for Four Kids

  29. anymommy

    No idea! I struggle with this too. But, I did just take a week off. It felt good. I missed blogging though, writing and commenting on all the blogs I’ve grown attached to. I put off opening my reader for days because I knew the number would be scary. It was, but I marked as read and life as I know it went on. Lol.

  30. Miss Jack

    Hi! Have you met me? I’m Angie, and I’m a blogaholic. You know damn well I can’t keep up with you all. I came to the conclusion that my blog is for me and when I get around to it, it will be there. At least I don’t have to come up with witty topics and stories, I just blog about the family, which apprently keeps my mom and MIL off my back and happy. And that’s all that really matters….right? (Rolling my eyes and feeling awfully nautious.) Anyway, take it one-day-at-a-time. 🙂

    Miss Jacks last blog post..I’m SO Not Here!!!

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