Outsourcing

October 14, 2008 7:00 am

Meet Chloe, our four year old Foxhound mix. Chloe has boundless energy, she can run all day long and never stop. She paces the house endlessly, often to the point where I scream at her to lay down SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE because she drives me fucking nuts. Chloe is a daddy’s girl, she stalks Jamie to no end and paces back and forth looking for him if he’s unavailable. Her favorite activities include stalking Graham when he has food in his hands, stalking Graham’s high chair when she thinks I’m not looking and stalking any remaining food dropped on the floor or left on the counter in hopes that we’ll let her have it. We won’t.

We adopted Chloe from the Humane Society three years ago last month. She has her share of problems, she had been to three different homes in her short eleven months and we made the decision to stick by her for the long haul when we brought her home. This includes several failed training methods, two stints in doggy bootcamp and several vet trips for intestinal ailments from eating unknown objects. BTW, doggy X-Rays are not cheap and we’ve had to get them a few times over the years when Chloe has gotten into some unknown thing and has turned up sick. At this point, anything bad Chloe does is directly our fault since having children has caused us to pay less attention to Chloe (and her brother Bailey) and more to the human children. Her brattiness causes me to have a love/hate relationship with her but I tend to lean more to the love side on most days.

For the past two years, I have been outsourcing all of my exercising to Chloe. Putting her on the treadmill helps drain her energy and keeps us from having to take her on an hour long walk (which we don’t have time for). When we open the treadmill, she hops on and patiently waits for us to start it up (I put her on at 5.4MPH, Jamie puts her on at 4MPH). She will happily run forty-five minutes and is usually still running when we come to relieve her. There are days when she just doesn’t want to run and hops off the instant we leave the room but can you blame her?

Since I’ve been outsourcing my fitness obligations to Chloe, my ass hasn’t hit a gym or worked out at all since before Graham was born. Actually, since we got married in July of 2005. That’s a long time with no exercising and it shows. There were a few failed eliptical attempts but they were short lived. I didn’t see the point in getting back into shape between kids since I was just going to get pregnant again. Now that Elliot is approaching six months, it’s time I got off of my fat ass. Why am I sharing this? Well I figured if I put this stuff into writing then it kind of makes it concrete. Since you guys know I’m supposed to be exercising, I might actually do it. You’re my bloggy moral compass. So is there anyone else out there who needs to get their butts into shape? Do you think you guys could kick me off of my computer at night and tell me to get on the treadmill? Please? I’d like to be alive to meet my grandchildren someday so I really need to do something….

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Once I take over exercising, Goldilocks here can get back to lounging.

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21 Comments

  1. DeeMarie
    on
    1

    I’m right there with you! Maybe we could all start a little fitness group online or something…
    Chloe is adorable. I love that you trained her to use the treadmill!!!

    DeeMaries last blog post..I Could So Write a Movie

  2. Katie
    on
    2

    I am so out of shape, but hubby and I have decisded to try for another baby. So now I’m worried about being over weight and getting pregnant, but I know that I won’t lose enough to make a difference before we (hopefully) get pregnant. SOmeone please tell me that it’s okay to be a little over weight and get pregnant. I so need to start eating better, but it’s so hard with the in-laws choosing the dinners (I won’t cook cuz they are a pain in the ass when I try) Argh, it’s so frustrating!!

    Sorry about the book. I’ll be your support if you’ll be mine….

    Katies last blog post..I LOVE Mondays….

  3. Sprite's Keeper
    on
    3

    Casey, you need to get your butt down to my area and train my dogs to use the treadmill! I love that! And Chloe is gorgeous! If my beagle could read, and use the computer for that matter, she’d be shooting green daggers right now. If she had opposable thumbs. But she doesn’t. So, it’s good. Harry? He just expends calories glaring and growling at Blue. That’s his workout.

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Well, the Holidays ARE just around the corner..

  4. Toni
    on
    4

    Okay, seriously, I need Maddie to do that!!! Thanks so much for your comments on my blog! I am so far behind on catching up with people. So I just got to your blog.

    Since you have been by my place a couple of times you may have noticed that Hunter was born in Dec. 06 as well. And if it could have worked I would have had another as soon as you did, still trying…

    I also got my degree in MIS – of course it has been several years since I used it and though my Mommy smarts may be increasing my work, computer, real world smarts seem to be decreasing faster!

    I will be back to check out more!!!

    Again, thanks for commenting!!!

    Tonis last blog post..Gal To Gal

  5. carrie
    on
    5

    That is too funny and the Chloe is a cutie-bootie. I need to tell my mom about the tredmill for her dog.
    I struggled with the same issue and finally got my butt off the ground after 3 kids.
    I started running. Just running and I am addicted to it now. I started slow and used a great program. e-mail me is you want the entire dish. I still have many pounds to go but I have dropped 25 since May.

    carries last blog post..10 Years Ago…….

  6. jenni
    on
    6

    good for you! thankfully I’m pregnant and don’t need to get into shape just yet, but I’m sure I’ll be hopping on the bandwagon in six months or so.

    jennis last blog post..My Mom is Crazy

  7. HeatherPride
    on
    7

    Oh my god, so many things about this post that I love. First, the dog on the treadmill photo. That is a classic. I cracked up the second I saw it. Second, the fact that you have the dog running at 5.4 mph for 45 minutes!! That is awesome! I’m still laughing at that. I mean, it’s not like you tie her to the thing, so she must love it! Last, I’ve got about 30 pounds of baby fat to lose and it is making me a little crazy. So I’m with ya.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..I Hear Confucius Really Loved Turtles, Too

  8. Cellobella
    on
    8

    I like the online fitness idea… what do we do – say how much we exercised each day and send What Happened To You emails to those who don’t?

    🙂
    I have to be in one of those boot camps to exercise.

    Cellobellas last blog post..Mamma Mia! A Kimberley girl

  9. steenky bee (jenboglass)
    on
    9

    You trained your dog to use the treadmill? I am seriously impressed. My love for you grows bigger each day. I need to train myself to get on that thing. So, while Chloe is working out, why don’t you consider Twittering while you eat bon bons and watch her? COME ON!

    steenky bee (jenboglass)s last blog post..Reese

  10. LaskiGal
    on
    10

    Awe . . . Chloe, the workout hound!

    Outsourcing is the perfect title.

    I’ve been rededicating myself and it isn’t easy. But, I guess it is easier to lose five, ten, fifteen pounds than it is to lose, well, let’s just say A LOT more than that.

    Good luck, woman. Keep us posted!

  11. mrsbear
    on
    11

    Love your dog on the treadmill, very Dog Whisperer-esque. Luckily for us our yard is big, so I set our puppies loose out there and that’s all the exercise they get.

    I keep thinking about exercising, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. I used to go to the gym once upon a time but we really don’t have the money for a membership. I’ve got a zillion workout DVDs and a Playstation fitness game. Ownership isn’t quite enough though and my pants are getting tighter and tighter. Are you nominating yourself leader of the support group?

    mrsbears last blog post..The Spin Cycle: Fear and Loathing on a Bicycle

  12. MommyNamedApril
    on
    12

    hehe, doggy on the treadmill. my only exercise is walking the dog… bleh.

    MommyNamedAprils last blog post..The Secret is in the Sauce!

  13. Krystal
    on
    13

    Yeah me exercise? HAH!!! Hubby would kill me. Well, it’s because when we first started dating I was a skinny 98 pounds and now I look like I don’t need to be fed anymore. He would freak if I started to work out again – I used to literally be addicted to it. I ran track & field, played basketball and soccer for school so I was always working out. And I’m one of the very few people that lose the baby weight when I give birth (except for on my ass and thighs, those never seem to go down!!!) But all in all, I am happy with the way I look and I’m healthy so that is all that matters. I’ll support you though big time!

    Krystals last blog post..To Sling or not to sling…

  14. Kat@MotherFonker
    on
    14

    CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE photo.

    Add me in to the fitness thingy.
    Make me guilty! I need to feel guilteehhh!

    Summer here (April, May) was able to do the hiphop abs workout everyday because the boys were over at grandma’s. dropped 2 sizes and i felt fabulous ALL the time. Like a drug addict, yes.

    since school started in june, zero exercise. abs are happily hanging out front again.

    While sitting up, I can place a glass on my tummy again AND sip from it… Look ma, no hands!

    gross :-p but true

  15. Christy
    on
    15

    I seriously need to lose weight and get in shape…SERIOUSLY. I am not consistent, that’s it in a nutshell. Let’s do a group or something like someone else suggested.

    And HOW did you get the dog to go on the treadmill? Seriously! I think my dogs would freak out & be afraid!

    Christys last blog post..The ‘Sixth’ Meme

  16. Miss Jack
    on
    16

    WOW! I’m actually jealous of a dog. But you know what…Chloe can’t blog! nanananana! (All the while, I’ve got my thumbs to my temples and I’m wiggling my fingers!) How childish is that? Oh, I feel like a slug! I so wish I could help you. I would be a contradicing asshole if I told you to get your ass off the chair and exercise. I just bought 2 bags of Double Stuf Oreos from Target. Hay, they were 2 for $5! 🙂 You know how I love me my DSO’s!

    Miss Jacks last blog post..Getting To the Root of the Problem

  17. Katie
    on
    17

    If only I had Chole’s enthusiasm for the treadmill. Bless that little dog.

    Katies last blog post..I do weddings and Bar Mitzvahs too

  18. Lydia @ On The Verge
    on
    18

    My dog wouldn’t even make it a minute on the treadmill! Yours rocks! Thanks for the advice today. I am going to keep her home. She is just too young.

    Lydia @ On The Verges last blog post..My Dilemma

  19. MaryLea @ Pink and Green Mama
    on
    19

    This is so funny. Can I do this with my kids?
    Love your blog, you’be made me laugh outloud several times!

    MaryLea @ Pink and Green Mamas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: I Think I’m Going to Be Sick!

  20. cyndi
    on
    20

    So, I’m going back to catch up and now I find the origins of HASAY – go DeeMarie! I’m getting closer to the actual come-to-Jesus of it all and I’m a little skeered. I did go to the gym this week and eat a salad, does that mean I’m committed??

    cyndis last blog post..One Trick Pony

  21. Spin Cycle: An Adopted Tail : Half As Good As You - Leaving the working world to raise kids
    on
    21

    […] deserve any blog time. She already had an entire post dedicated to her way back when and that stupid post started HASAY. Can you see why I might not like her after […]

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