Doctoring The Politics

October 10, 2008 7:00 am

I’m crossing the political line here so think twice before reading on. Keep in mind that we can still be friends even if we don’t share the same views. These are mine. Tomorrow we will resume the regularly scheduled programming.
Last week I took Elliot to the doctor to have her ears rechecked and make sure her ear infection had cleared up. Our doctor’s office is less than a mile down the road and we always wait until the last possible minute to leave so we don’t have to be there any longer than necessary.  Jamie got Elliot dressed and into the car while I threw on some proper clothes (I had to change out of my standard boxers & t-shirt, bummer). We hauled ass to the appointment and pulled into the parking lot right on time.

When I went around to get Elliot out of the car, she was wearing one of Graham’s old bibs that read “Chick Magnet.” I chuckled a bit and brought her in with the bib on. We got checked in and into the examining room and the nurse wanted to know what the reason for my son’s visit was. I told her that my DAUGHTER was there for a followup visit for her ears. The doctor came in and asked how HE (Elliot) was feeling. I told her that SHE was doing fine and that I thought the ear infection was better. She looked at my purple clad kid with the chick magnet bib on and gave me a puzzled look. “What? Oh, my husband got her dressed and put one of my son’s old bibs on her.” The doctor had a good laugh about it and moved on. For the record, the ears are all better and we’ve moved on to teething.

On the way home, I got to thinking about Elliot sporting the Chick Magnet bib. Yes, I found humor in the implication that my five month old is gay, but it was also sad in a way. No, this is not a gay bashing post, in fact, quite the opposite. Since becoming parents, Jamie and I have often had the “what if” talks about our children.  What if they don’t want to go to college, what if they’re into Scientology, what if they’re GAY? The answer to that last question is simple. Jamie and I don’t give a flying rats ass if our children are gay or straight, we only care that they grow up to be happy, responsible citizens. That’s it.  My only concern with them being gay is the lack of acceptance that so many people out there have.

For the record, Jamie and I are both heterosexual and we were married under the law. We got hitched without a hitch (hehe, get it?). This privilege is not an option for so many deserving people out there who are just like you and me. I know that Jamie and I are very open-minded people, but I really can’t understand people’s reasoning against gay marriage or discrimination at all. I’m not asking for your opinion on the evilness of being gay. I’m not asking you to jump up and down in support of the gays. I’m simply trying to point out that these are people here, people who love each other just as much as you love your spouse. People who have kids and raise families and suffer discrimination on a daily basis.

Today my new BFF Google Reader informed me about a new post from a blog I read called Lesbian Dad. The post was about today being the ten year anniversary of a boy named Matthew Shepard being killed in Laramie, Wyoming just for being gay. Matthew was a year younger than me and I remember hearing the story back then and being shocked. Now that I’m a parent, I look at my kids and am scared shitless that they’re growing up in a world where something so tragic could take place.

I know everyone is sick of the political posts. I’ve remained semi-neutral throughout this election but here is my one time rant. Without standing on my political soap box for too long, I want to make a plea. Think of that poor kid who was beaten and bloodied and left for dead and imagine if that were your kid. Your sweet, loving kid whose diapers you changed and whose soccer team you coached. This poor kid was killed just for being different. Then visit this site and see how the candidates in the upcoming election feel about the issues. We plan on teaching our kids NOT to discriminate and I intend to vote for the candidate that best supports that practice.

End Rant

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  1. Christy

    Holla! The best one was–what if they’re into Scientology? LOL You’re in trouble on that one, my friend (I took a Scientology course once to find out what it was all about…another story for another day.)

    I love the gays! Can you hear Kathy Griffin saying that? Seriously, I’m right on board with you. I don’t get the hatred. I think we should be more concerned about healthy relationships in general b/c those are the ones that bring the most positive energy into the world–and who cares who’s in those healthy relationships? Not me.

    I think (unfortunately) a lot of people out there believe that people that are gay CHOOSE it; they choose not to “conform.” Personally, I don’t think that’s true. And I think we need to just let people be who they are.

    Go Obama! (Did I incite a riot?) LOL

  2. Sprite's Keeper

    I am good friends with a lesbian couple about to bring a little boy into the world and was just discussing how his name would be able to acknowledge both of them, which I love by the way. They used the masculine terms of their names to create it. Whenever I see anything in the election discussing gay marriage and gay rights, I immediately think of them and what would be best for them. And I lean that way. So I guess you can see which way I’m leaning even though I haven’t admitted my choice.. 🙂
    Love this post.

  3. debateur

    Funny to stumble across this post today. I was intending to write a post on this myself soon.

    Seriously though I’m with you if my child chooses to be gay I will support her decision although I will be sad not because I have anything against gays I just think that their life is a lot more difficult than heterosexuals.

  4. Monica

    Hi Casey. Thanks for your note on our blog the other day. By the way, I think that the name Elliot for a girl should not be confusing. Doesn’t anyone watch Scrubs anymore? Sarah Chalke has been Elliot for years.

    Oh, and I love this post. Of course my perspective as a gay person and a gay mom make me feel perfectly happy to say “YES” to everything you’ve written here.

    I remember once hearing a woman whisper that she thought it was awful that a woman we knew had married a man of a different race. They had the most gorgeous 3 year old little boy. She lamented that “it will be so hard on him to grow and face such a hard life”. “Um, because of bigoted racists like you who make life hard for him” was all I could think. Same with children of gay parents. Our children are just fine. And if their lives will be hard it’s because of homophobic people who do not see beauty in their midst. I guess that’s my thought on this. But as more and more people have family members and good friends live out and comfortable lives I have hope that this will change for the better.

    Anyway, have a great day. You’re kids are gorgeous! -Monica

  5. jenni

    Isn’t it crazy how being a parent compeletly changes your perception of things like Matthew Shepherd’s murder?

    We’re also coolio with our kids being gay. But being Scientoligists? That’s another story.

    jennis last blog post..Phobia Friday: The Man Cold

  6. Heather

    I agree! We just have to raise our kids the best we can and hope for the best. And love them no matter what.

    Heathers last blog post..sweaty calls

  7. Kat@MotherFonker

    I am overkill as usual, I always tell either 1 of my clueless boys out of the blue “If you grow up gay, I will still love you son… In fact, I wish 1 of you were gay…” And he’ll stare at me with an open mouth that says Whatthe????

    It’s also my sneaky way of telling my sons to tolerate and respect gays…

  8. jenboglass (steenkybee)

    Word. Heterosexuals do not own the market in marriage. Divorce rate much? I was shocked to hear Biden state that he doesn’t believe in gay marriage, but supports same sex benefits. Wha? My husband and I agree that we would love and support our kids if either of them were gay. My in-laws have expressed that they feel otherwise. It makes my skin crawl when they act like that. We are all people. Why don’t people discriminate against me because I have curly hair? It’s something that was determined in my make-up before I was born. So was my sexual tendancy to be straight. To me, those things are the same. People would support me with straight hair, but not if I were homosexual? This, I don’t understand. For me, gay marriage is one issue that I feel so strongly about. For me it is black and white, not gray, no blurry lines. Thanks for this wonderful and insightful post!!

    jenboglass (steenkybee)s last blog post..The Spin Cycle: Unorthodox Therapy Sessions

  9. jenboglass (steenkybee)

    Funny follow up…I live in Utah. The state is predominately Mormon. The LDS Church has remained semi quiet about the whole gay marriage debate. They have, however, very indirectly supported citizens that have banned together to raise money and funnel the funds to California to fight the legalization of gay marriage. They indirectly support it by not advising these people to stop gathering money for this issue, but announce that they frown on people collecting money in support of gay marriage.

    Anyway, the founder of WordPerfect lives in Utah and is openly gay. He made front page news when he found out about this group of about 120 people that had gathered all this money to support the “protection of marriage” act. My figures are fuzzy, but I think the group of Utah folks raised something like $280,000 to fight against homosexual marriage. The WordPerfect guy then wrote a check for $1 Million and sent it to their opposition. He said he’s got more where that comes from. I wanted to run right out and hi-five him. It was such a slap in the face to all those hypocrites out there.

    jenboglass (steenkybee)s last blog post..The Spin Cycle: Unorthodox Therapy Sessions

  10. Ferd

    I wouldn’t quite classify that as a rant. You very clearly and gently made your points about a subject that is very important to you and to many others. You were very careful to not offend. It was wonderful.
    I remember that terrible story from 10 years ago. I appreciate the reminder.
    Are you participating in Mimi’s BlogBlast for Peace on November 6th? You are a beautiful writer with plenty to say. I would enjoy reading your contribution.

  11. Miss Jack

    Hay, I liked your post. My dad is gay! True story. However, it’s too bad neither of the candadates support gay marriage. Oh, they both supported gay rights, but not marriage. At least that was my understanding during the VP debate.

    Miss Jacks last blog post..The Witching Hour

  12. Casey

    @Christy: The Scientologists freak me out, they’re all around downtown Clearwater where my mom works and I’m always expecting them to abduct and convert her!
    I love me some Kathy Griffin. Like you, I also don’t think it’s a choice either, you are what you are and there’s no changing that.

    @SK (aka Jen): I think you just outed yourself political party wise! I love when parents combine their names for their kids. We thought about Jacey (Jamie & Casey) but went with Elliot instead.

    @Debateur: Great minds think alike! I’ll be sure to look for that post when you write it!

    @Monica: Thanks for stopping by! It infuriates me when I hear stories about that, people spreading hate. Too bad it’s illegal to bitch-slap people when they spew crap like that!

    @Jenni: Being a parent has royally f’ed with my head. I don’t read or see anything anymore without worrying about my kids.

    @Heather: Word. It’s our jobs as parents to love our kids no matter what, not turn our backs on them when they don’t fit our expectations.

    @Kat: You crack me up. I hope your kids pick up your sense of humor!

    @Steenky: The politicians all piss me off on this subject but one side way less than the other. Your Word Perfect story is awesome, that dude rocks! BTW, I’m starting a movement to discriminate against curly haired people.

    @Ferd: I’m blushing, thanks for the compliment! I hadn’t heard of Mimi’s Blog Blast but I’m def going to check it out.

    @Miss Jack: Yes, I noticed that too, I was kind of annoying in the last VP debate when they put them both on the spot and they both said they were anti gay marriage. I know if the Dems were pro there is no way they’d ever get elected so I’m hoping that’s the reason.

  13. Captain Dumbass

    I find it funny watching the debates and listening to the candidates go on and on about freedom and bringing democracy to the rest of the world. What about freedom in your own country. I just don’t understand the whole ‘definition of marriage’ thing. My province, BC, allows gay marriage. If one of my sons turns out gay, so be it. And I’m totally stealing Kat’s “I hope one of you are gay” line. That was beautiful.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post.."Sometimes It Has To Breathe"

  14. mrsbear

    I’m with you. I don’t care who my kids love as long as they are loved and respected in return. Matthew’s death was terribly tragic. Get on your soapbox all you want, you really said it well.

    mrsbears last blog post..Mommy’s Night Off

  15. Ferd

    If you want to check it out, Mimi’s blog is at

    You can explore it a little and find the sample peace globes that you will decorate and include with your post. Everyone will post under the title “dona nobis pacem” on November 6. So far, there are over 1,100 bloggers in 40 different countries involved. Amazing!

    If you want, I can email you my post, as I have already written it. You can give me some constructive criticism, and get an idea of how individual the message can/should be.

    Ferds last blog post..A Lesson for Me

  16. Casey

    @Captain: Welcome, my dear. I don’t understand the “definition of marriage” thing either. It sucks ass. People sticking their noses where they shouldn’t and thinking they have the right to control someone’s life (and happiness). Kat is a funny mofo, you should definitely quote her on a daily basis.

    @MrsBear: It feels good to be up on my soapbox, I think I’ll stay up here awhile.

    @Ferd: I Googled Mimi’s site yesterday, pretty cool concept. Send your post my way, I’d love to read it!

  17. carrie

    I am on your side with this one. I have folks around me (friends and family) who live an alternative lifestyle. As a matter of fact, I invited a friend to live with my hubby and I right after I got prego (the first time). He stayed with us for 10 months and it was an eye-opener but it was his life. ROCK ON MIKE, where ever you are!!

    carries last blog post..10 Years Ago…….

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